Gym!

Well, so, i just came back from the gym and i had my Garmin stats open and then the watch went to black screen and when i opened it back up the data was gone :'( wth. Welp... i was really not in the mood today to go, but i am happy i went anyways! I had to get up early today for a meeting (i might write about that some time later) and i barely got any sleep last night. I guess because i was nervous subconsciously for the meeting today. It was a big deal to me so... Then i got back home and i was just kind of doing nothing but making up excuses and getting distracted (usually when i dont sleep well my meds dont work that well lol). So i told myself to just do 3 exercises and go home. I actually did 4 and i didn't try to push too hard. My legs are still burning though so that's good! 

• 7 min treadmill
• Adductor 3x12 47.5kg
• Sitting leg press 1x15 60kg, 1x12 70kg, 2x10 80kg
• Sitting leg press legs high 3x12 80kg
• Leg extension 1x10 40kg 2x8 45kg 1x17 50kg (myo)

Oh and the abductor machine is still broken!!! I'm so annoyed!!!

Changing it up

I wanted to work-out at home today, but i still have DOMs (even in my butt, woah), so i wont. I will do some stretches tho. There's a heatwave again so that's cool (it's not). I think instead of mon/fri i will just do leg work-out on mon/thu at the gym for now. Or i will make it fluid where i can pick a day that suits me best. I'll see. At the end of the month i will incorporate upper body again (with focus on my back) and i might do 3 leg days, but i think for now the two leg days is fine. I don't want to make the same mistake as last year where i over-train while it's hot, or i make promises to myself i can't keep.

Back in the gym bby!

Yay! Weekend over so today was gym day. In my previous post i mentioned that i cut myself and that the doctor said that i should let it rest for a bit. I think i also mentioned it has basically been a month now that i didn't do any arm day or whatever. I can tell, cause my body looks more deflated. My cut is healing nice though, and i'm pretty sure i can do upper body again, but i want to wait, just in case.

So now i do Monday/Friday at the gym, and Wednesday at home workout. It's gonna be tough cause it is really warm weather. I think i want to split up the gym machines on Monday/Friday and then maybe do 3 exercises on Friday, because of the heat. It is literally so effin' warm and not only that, it is literally... i can't breathe basically. It's humid and gross. Even though my gym has air-conditioning, it feels horrible. Like i am constantly out of breath and i can't breathe properly, so i don't want to push myself too hard, cause then i feel like i wont go anymore, since i don't have my gym buddy to fall back on anymore (which is a good thing tbh) (i need to learn to do it alone).

Did i btw mention i got a Garmin watch? Yeah so, for my birthday i decided to get myself a Garmin watch. I usually enjoy getting myself birthday presents. Last year i got myself a bunch of small gifts, which was nice, but my eye fell on the light purple/lilac Garmin vivoactive 5 watch. Cause i fell into this rabbit hole of smartwatches, but i didn't want one that could "sell my data". So i looked for one that i didn't have to connect to the internet and i wanted a cute one, so i found out about the Garmin watches! I still need to get a new band for it, because it comes with a rubber one which is horrible for when it is warm weather. I already found a few cute ones on Aliexpress so i will have to figure out which ones i really want. But yeah, it is easier now to get myself to focus on things cause of the watch, cause when i go out to walk, i set it on the activity "walk" and i can see my heart rate and a timer etc. and then after i'm done walking i get an overview and it just tickles my ADHD brain. It's nice! I might end up pairing it up with an old phone i have laying around so i can add more stuff to it, like tracking my water and stuff. I don't know if i will have to connect to the internet to sync up my phone and watch, but i believe i can also do it with the cable. But that is something i have to figure out. The reason i mention it is because i use it at the gym as well. I use it first for cardio and then after i use it for weightlifting so i can track my rest etc. And at the end i get an overview and i thought it would be cool to keep track of it here, so that i can maybe compare things, cause it shows how much weight in total you've been lifting so it would be cool to see how much i do now, and how much i will grow in like 1 month, 3 months, 6 months etc.

But yeah the gym today. I first didn't feel like going. I got dressed but i checked the Google thing to see if it was crowded and it said it was crowded so i didn't wanna go, but i made a list of things i had to do today, so i picked something else on my list. I then got distracted with other stuff and then i checked again and it said there weren't many people. This was around 2-2.30. I think i ended up going at 3 and i got home around 4. 

• 5 min treadmill
• Adductor 1x12 45kg, 2x12 47.5kg, 1x10 50kg
• Sitting leg press 1x15 40kg, 1x12 60kg, 1x12 70kg 1x12 80kg
• Leg curl 1x12 27.5kg, 1x12 30kg, 1x12 32.5kg, 1x10 35kg
• Sitting leg press legs high 3x12 80kg

The abductor machine is broken (it was also broken last week ffs) so i use the leg press as a substitute, although i know it is better to do cable side stretches or whatever it is called. However, i hate doing those in the gym so i'd rather not. It wasn't that crowded in the gym, and most people were doing upper body today so that was nice cause i didn't have to wait for any machines. I then went home, walked my dog, tried to save a bee, and then went home and drank my protein. I'm sweating so hard, so i will take a shower after i am done with my protein zzzzzzzzzz.

3 weeks out!!!

Okay so, i haven't written in a while. I don't really have a good excuse as to why. And i don't think it matters. I had a 3 week hiatus from working out; the longest yet. The first week was for my birthday. My best friend took off from work so i told my gym buddy ahead of time that i wasn't going to the gym "in the first week of june". Then on Monday i suddenly get a text from my gym buddy saying "hey i'm already at the gym", which was the weirdest thing ever cause like... he had never done that before? Cause usually the day before we go to the gym we text each other about the time if we didn't make any plans. So i texted him "uhh what". I basically told him "it's great you are there, but it's my free week!". I told him he should try and go alone this week. He seemed annoyed(?) at me, even though i literally told him ahead of time when i was going to take my week off. I think he just used it as an excuse to get annoyed at me; that's how it felt anyways.

I still had contact with him once more during my free week, since he send me a birthday message. I reacted the day after cause i cut myself the day after my birthday on my arm by accident and needed stitches (my first ever!!!). So i thanked him for the birthday wishes and told him that i cut myself lol. He didn't really respond or asked any questions so we kind of left it at that. Later in the week i invited him to a concert i thought he would like and asked if he wanted to go with. It's in like 1 or 2 months, but i thought i would give him a heads up. I never got a response...

Then the second week.. on Monday it was some religious holiday i believe idk, so everything was closed, so we decided to go again on Tuesday. I had 2 appointments that day, and we decided to go at 12, but i wasn't going to make 12 anymore so i texted him. I wanted to ask if we could go at 4 since i had another appointment, but i didn't hear anything from him until 3(!!!) in the afternoon. He said he "overslept" cause "he didn't feel good at night" "so he couldn't fall asleep". I just left him on read. (he btw doesn't have the read ticks turned on, but i guess he figured that i left him on read lol). I didn't go to the gym myself that week or workout at home since working out at home was gonna be difficult, cause i couldn't lift anything. And i also bruised my foot (don't ask) (and yes i actually had a bruise on the bottom of my foot) during my birthday week so putting any pressure on it hurt; so cardio was out of the question + most exercise machines. I was fully handicapped!! Lol. So i decided to just take another rest week. Also, my computer broke just before my birthday week and i only ended up getting it fixed... recently actually. So i caught up on sleep and rest (even though i still gamed on my steam deck hehe).

Then last week, he messaged me on Monday "Soo, are we going to pick up lifting again?". And i was like "i still lift though! but yeah we can go together again if you want". I obviously lied, but he doesn't have to know that. I told him that i could go tomorrow (which was tuesday) but i first had to go to the doctor to get my stitches removed, and that i can't do arm day. So then he finally asked what happened and i told him about cutting myself by accident. He said that he thought i had "cut my finger or something". Three stitches in your finger? Sure buddy. So i said "i will just do leg days when we go to the gym from now on". And he was like "okay, let me know when you are done then tomorrow at the doctor". I thought i could nudge him towards driving me, but i didn't really expect much since he had such a bitchy attitude towards me + the ignoring of my messages when i was inviting him to come to a show.. oh well. No biggie. It was super hot though on Tuesday and i had to bike for like 20 minutes in the hot sun cause of course the only road to my doctor had no trees UGH. Luckily my doctor is like 1 minute away from my grandparents so i decided to go to their place after i was done at the doctor, and just tell my gym buddy that we will go later in the day. I got my stitches removed by a cute happy gay nurse in training. I made him laugh twice and getting the stitches removed was rather uncomfortable, but nothing too bad. He did a pretty good job and was gentle. But then when i was done and i checked my phone guess what... yup. Gym buddy bro cancelled again. I had my appointment at the doctor at 01.40PM and he messaged me at 01.30PM saying "Well, i think we need to go to the gym some other time... maybe tomorrow or Thursday. cause i drank spoiled milk and now i am living on the toilet...." followed by "for the record, i checked the date and the carton said it would be good for another 3 days, so the milk should've still been good". Uhh okay???

I obviously didn't buy his story. Even if he was truthful... bro cancelled our gym plans SO. FUCKING. OFTEN. that i do not believe him anymore. And not only that, he literally told me to my face "it is 50/50 whether i get sick when i eat certain food, so sometimes i eat food and then just hope i dont get sick, so when i cancel, i just got sick". I also often think he doesn't get sick, and he just games all night with his friends and then is too tired to go to the gym. My friend said that my gym buddy seemed "gleeful" about not wanting to go to the gym after he cancels, especially seeing how he never reschedules for later in the day, but always prompts for other days.

I then talked about it with my roommate and my therapist, and especially my therapist urged me to choose more for myself. I am sick and tired of planning my days around him, cause he is always the one who wants to go at a specific time in the day. I told him multiple times i would like to go earlier, but he never really complied, except for sometimes. And i know if i were to call him out (which i have already done before and i told him to get therapy for his food addiction) he would just tell me "oh but you're always late", as if that is in any way comparable to him CANCELLING. I decided to just match his energy, so disrespecting and lack of effort. I am not stressing over him anymore. I am just going to the gym on my own.

So that's what i did yesterday. I went a bit later. I went to bed really late on Sunday night, and i wanted to go at 4 but of course i couldn't find the things i needed (earphones, water bottle etc.) so i ended up going at around 4.30PM. The gym wasn't that crowded, but there were a lot of duos, and one of the machines was broken, and i brought the wrong earphones so i could hear a lot of noise coming through which was really annoying, but hey i did it! There was also a guy working there who i had maybe seen 2 or 3 times before. He smiled at me a few times and at one point, when he walked through the gym, he gave me a thumbs up. So that was nice! 

Today my legs ache. I tried to not go too hard with my workouts. I tried about 10-20kg lower than the last time i went to the gym and i tried to go higher in weight with each set to see where my threshold was. Almost with every exercise i could almost do the weight i did last time, so i am sure i am back where i was before in like 1-2 weeks. I kinda wanted to do stuff at home tomorrow cause i got a landmine attachment now (yay!). But my legs are really sore, and i just got back into it so i think i will sit tomorrow out for now and just go back again on either Thursday or Friday!

I should write again

I kinda want to start writing here again, but i also don't. I am keeping track of my workouts pretty well. I am currently eating high protein again. I am more frequently working out at home... not as often as i would like, but often enough that i am content. My ADHD group is going pretty well. My anxiety therapy is going a bit meh. I am thinking about streaming again. My life just kind of flows atm. I'm not happy, i'm not sad; i'm just content. So yeah, maybe writing here again will be a good idea, so i can figure out how i can struggle more at the gym LOL.

Gym sabotage

Today i was supposed to go to the gym with my gym buddy, but he is sick. I chatted with him for a little bit and it just comes down to him eating fast food and then he gets acid reflux, but he uses like a fancier word for it so it doesn't sound as lame. He thinks that him going to the gym will fix it cause "he will lose weight" not understanding that diet is like 90% of the process, and if you want to lose weight you need to eat less. My roommate eats like shit most of the time, and he is a skinny bitch lol. My gym buddy doesn't believe that and/or uses the "fast metabolism" argument, which is cope. I told him that it's not even about what you eat, but how much you eat of it. It frustrates me a lot cause he is sabotaging both himself and me by doing this. He is also aware that fast food is doing this to him and it feels unfair that he eats fast food the day before we go to the gym cause he knows it will f him up. So what gives??? Very annoyed. At this point i'd rather just not have a gym buddy tbh. I also realized that in the months he worked out with our PT he barely lost any weight, while at minimum he should've lost 7kg/15.5lbs. He is fat and didn't do anything for months/years. So him going to the gym should've kickstarted his body into losing fat more, which is obviously not happening. Tragic. Also disappointed in my PT for not pushing my gym buddy harder. If i would have a client like him i would tell him that i would drop him if he doesn't start eating healthier or get help/therapy for his eating habits, cause this is ridiculous.

Well anyways, atm i have a small mouse in the bucket, and i need to walk my dog, go to town, and i want to work-out at home. I'll just do two at home sessions this week i guess. Just need to check what i want to do today. Better get my ass into gear.

Rest day, i guess

Today i was supposed to do a leg day, but i stayed up late last night because i had not done that in a while and last night was the only night this week i would be able to do that. Then in the afternoon i had 2 appointments after one another and by the time they were over and done with i was tired and my roommate came home anyways. 

Tomorrow i have an appointment at 12 in the city. It should be a short appointment so my gym buddy will pick me up after and we will go to the gym for cardio and core and then i have to rush home and i'll have my ADHD group!!! And then when my roommate comes home we have to go to the plant store cause it's my grandma's birthday on Friday and i want to get her something nice. So tomorrow is gonna be busy as hell so maybe it's a good thing i didn't do leg day today cause after my leg day last week i couldn't walk properly for like 5 days LOL. Maybe i'll do reverse lunches at the gym on Friday idk. We'll see.

PT: Day 53 (last day)

Today was the last day with our PT. I am going to miss him so much omg. I liked that i could talk to him about working out and geek out about different ways to train a certain muscle; it was so much fun! Now i won't have that anymore. Maybe i can replace an AI with him or something lol. At least i can lean on my gym buddy for now, but it's just not the same.

Yesterday, after we did our cardio day, we went into the city to look around for something small we could give the PT. We ended up giving him a bag with snacks (since he said he liked to watch movies with his gf on the couch and snack) and then my gym buddy and i each gave him a personal gift with a card. I gave him 2 sets of different socks (that still matched in some way) cause i was the "different sock" girl lol. And my gym buddy gave him a small lunch box in the shape of an apple to put his apples in (cause he always ate apples). He seemed to really appreciate it and said that most clients (even the ones he would help for a year or longer) wouldn't show their appreciation this much, so that was nice.

But yeah from now on i will have to do it alone...ish. I mean.. i still have company. I just don't know what to call my entries anymore haha. Maybe i will just continue with the "iron grind" thing. The problem is just that i want to make a distinction between my gym days and my home work-out days... let me ask AI. 

Okay so the AI and i brainstormed (a lot) and we came out with PTX, this way i still honor my PT days and i can kind of ween myself off the PT part but make it something extra. I guess PT now stands for "personal training" instead of "personal trainer" hehe. As the AI mentioned, X stands for "limited edition" which means that a few weeks from now i will change it again, probably.

• Pullups 3x12 40kg
• Chest press machine 10kg 3x12
• Shoulder machine 10kg 3x12
• Lat pulldown 25kg 1x12 1x8 30kg 1x12 25kg
• Triceps overhead 3x6 5kg
• Row 30kg 1x12 2x10
• Biceps pulldown 25 1x12 1x10 20kg 1x12

Iron Grind: Day 1 (glutes) 🔴

Soo, i'm back and so is my roommate. The 2ish weeks that i was alone were nice, but i don't feel like i've done a lot/made much progress. I am enrolled in the ADHD course now tho and my anxiety therapy started which is nice so at least those two things are going. The sessions with my PT will end next week i believe, so that is kind of a bummer.

Today i wanted to start with being more strict with my diet again and working out more in general. I was supposed to meet up with my gym buddy but he send me a text saying he slept bad last night, which was kind of a cop out cause whenever we train with the personal trainer he doesn't cancel... even if he has slept bad that night. So yeah.

We were supposed to meet at 12 but because of his text i stayed in bed (cause i also slept bad last night lol but i was still gonna go) and i woke up later so that kind of sucks. I will get ready now and go anyways. I will do my usual cardio routine (10 mins elliptical, 10 mins steps). And then go on to a leg routine. I was thinking to the the hip adductor and the high position leg press for the butt. And then come home and do hip thrusts and walking lunges. In the gym i can also do back extensions on that chair looking thing, but i haven't done that before but i think it will be a good thing to do in the gym later on to add to my routine to build my glutes. I shouldn't be in the gym longer than 30 minutes probably depending on how many people there are hugging the machines, since my gym buddy isn't there and i can just do everything on my own so it shouldn't take too much time out of my day.

I also want to eat better/more boring (read: more protein) for max gains so that is coming too. TBC.

Annoyed

So today i got up too late and i also lost my earphones yesterday so i knew i had to look for them so i was scared i would be too late at the gym... but to my surprise i got a text at 12.15PM saying "the trainer and i could go earlier so we are already at the gym!". And i was like "excuse me". I've gotten at least 5 texts over the last 2 months from our trainer asking me if i could be there at 12 on Fridays. And every time i texted him back and said "sure! but i think my gym buddy gets up at 12PM". And usually he would text me at 11. Whenever i would get the text i would get up immediately, just in case my gym buddy would be awake and we could go earlier. 

But today... nop! No message. Nothing. Just literally at 12.15 "we could be there earlier, so we already started". Wtf does that mean? I was actually annoyed. Had they texted me at 11 i would've gotten up at that time cause i was awake but i kept slumbering cause i knew i had the time for that. I also went to bed really late last night cause some stuff happened that was out of my control. Either way, super scummy idk. I feel disrespected and i also feel that it was inconsiderate of them. I haven't texted back yet. I just checked and at around 1.30 i got a message that they were gonna leave the gym. Cool. Good for you!

I'm not even in the mood anymore to go to the gym. At 4 i have to pick up the nanny dog so i think i will just clean up the living room and do some laundry and then at 4 pick up the dog and then i'll do a leg day at home tomorrow, or maybe i'll even go to the gym tomorrow. I've never gone in the weekend before so i wonder what that is like. 

On Monday my roommate will come back home and he is free that week so we will probably be doing stuff that week. After next week i want to start with a different training and eating schedule and i also want to try and start creatine. 

Vacation!!!

I brought my friend to the train station today cause he is going to the airport to go visit his family for about 2 weeks. Which means... i have 2 weeks off!!! At first i was thinking about cancelling appointments and just have at least one week to myself, but i think that isn't necessary. And it will help probably with staying in the flow, but i mean, i can always cancel appointments if i really have to. I don't think i will really miss his presence or realize that he's gone until the weekend, cause that's when he is around the most. I have a weird sense of excitement that he is gone and i feel motivated to do things. And on top of that, i can do my nightly walks with my dog and smoke and i don't have to be scared that he might smell the smoke on me or whatever. It will feel nice to just be able to be in my house and to not have to take into consideration that i have to be quiet or not leave my stuff laying around cause someone is living with me. Like, for example, after i dropped off my friend i went to a store to pick up some stuff like shampoo and cleaning things and i didn't unpack my bags. They are just laying in the living room. And i know i will unpack them at some point today, but i don't feel like it right now, because i, for example, have to walk my dog and get dressed for the gym, and i also want to stretch so i feel like those things are more important and i can clean up the bags later. Even before i go to bed if i wanted to. 

Ever since my friend lives with me i constantly feel like i have to clean up NOW, and i have to make sure i do things NOW. Not because i necessarily have to, but i know that if i slack for one second he will see that as a "signal" that he can slack too and it is really tiring. A normal person would think like "oh, she will clean that up later no problem". But he sees it as a "oh she didn't clean it up, that means that next time i can also just leave my stuff laying around and she can't complain about it". It's kind of like that, and it is tiring to live like this. I wonder how different my weeks will look. I never was really on time at the gym ever since i started training with my personal trainer, so i wonder if i can be on time now every time, since my roommate isn't here so it is easier to just leave a mess.

The problem is also, when i lived on my own and i would make a mess, it would be like "oh i'll clean that later, and if not later, i will clean it tomorrow or whenever i have time this week". But i can't do that. I have to clean it the same day. So that gives me additional stress. So i hope i will feel better this week (and next week).

I kind of hope i can get to clean the entire house this week, so next week i can focus on other things, or i can just relax. I also have a bunch of laundry i can get through, and i have an extra drying rack now, and it since i don't need the extra space i can just put it wherever i want, so i hope to get through all the laundry this week. Aaaaaa so much to do! But first, today is upper body day so gotta do that and then we'll see.

Edit 23 march: My roommate/friend came home last week. He has been home for about a week now. He had this week off too. It was annoying to have him back again. We did go to the city and shopped, went to IKEA at some point, and also cleaned the yard, but it wasn't "more fun" just because he was there. Every night it was the same thing where we would sit on the couch and just watched something on Youtube. I felt uninspired and dead inside. I also didn't get to clean my entire apartment so there is still stuff to do, bleh. At least from tomorrow on he will go to work again so i will have the day to myself! I will probably also start trying to get up earlier. I know it will be difficult for me to do, but i feel like it is imperative for me to do so, if i want my days to be functional, and my days to be mine.

No gym, just core

So today my gym buddy had an appointment early in the morning so we could meet at the gym earlier. Unfortunately, i went to bed really late last night and i also did leg day, so i was very tired and i couldn't get up. I decided to just get up when i wanted to and make sure that i was ready to get at least before 2 PM. Then when i checked my messages, my gym buddy cancelled our gym appointment. So if i had gotten up earlier we would've been to the gym. Eh. My own fault. I think i will instead just do some core routine. I don't know what i will do yet, but i'll figure it out. Every time i try to find information about what people with good bodies do for core they all claim that they don't do anything special, but i know they do. Why is everyone so secretive about it lol. 

Update post

I just updated a bunch of posts cause i haven't really been writing a lot anymore. I am just so tired all the time. I have been watching my protein again so i hope that when i up my protein i will feel better. Oh and my second monitor broke, so productivity wise i feel 0 motivation to do anything cause multitasking is hard with one monitor. I also just want to keep up the work-out schedule i have now because i am seeing a change in my body so i don't want to change anything. I hope i will get over my tiredness, otherwise i will probably just go to the doctor and check my blood levels again, to see if i am still lacking something (maybe i am and that's where my stomachaches come from idk). 

I have also been going to some therapist appointments with a bunch of different people cause they are trying to figure out what type of therapy i need. I will spare you the stupidity i've heard from some of these therapists (the fact that they can call themselves "psychologists" is laughable) (they argued, because one of my psychologists stood behind me at some point and it made me uncomfortable, that it was because of my anxiety and not because it is just a normal human behavioral feeling to just feel some type of level of uncomfortableness if someone just stands behind you and you aren't in a store setting) (then another psychologist, who was also present, said that i had too much of a fixation on wanting to be "normal") (how are these people even real?).

Oh and, in March i will start with my ADHD group that will run till June and i'm kinda excited for that idk why.

Leg day at home

I feel a bit better but the nausea is still there. I have no idea what it could be. I don't feel sick otherwise. There's like a pit in my stomach. I hope it goes away soon.

Bulgarian split squats 3x12 (10kg)

Romanian Dead Lifts 1x20 (bar) 4x12 (20kg)

Bodyweight squats 1x20

Barbell squats 3x10 (12kg)

Hip thrusts 3x12 (20kg)

Wasn't really feeling the barbell squats today. I should've probably gone down a weight, but i didn't want to. After i did hip thrusts and omg i hate doing them so much. I wish i had a hip thrust machine or a smith machine to make it easier aaaaaaaaa.

PT Day 41: Upper body

Yesterday we did cardio again and today i was late. I felt like i got hit by a truck when i woke up and i felt nauseated and had lower back pain (i've been having that since this weekend). Idk what is going on. I feel like it might be that my body is growing, but since i am not doing any core exercises my core is lagging behind and that is why i get lower backpain? Idk. So i guess i need to think about including some core stuff in my (already kinda busy) schedule.

• 3x10 assisted pullups 35kg
• 3x12 lie incline dumbbell chest? 7kg
• 3x12 shoulder press 5kg
• 3x12 lat pulldown 25kg
• 3x10 rows 25kg
• 3x12 dumbbell alternate bicep? 6kg
• 3x12 triceps idk 7.5kg

Also, it didn't matter that much that i was late. Last week our PT asked my gym buddy what he needs from him as they enter the second phase. My gym buddy said that he mainly needed "lifestyle guidance" especially in terms of his diet, so i recommended he would start a food diary; not necessarily writing down the calories (as that can be overwhelming) but just writing down what he eats during the week. So they agreed on doing that. He kept at it the entire week! And today they ended up discussing it. So just as i got into the gym they were on their first exercise so i wasn't that much behind. But since i didn't feel too well i ended up taking longer rests and stuff so once they were done i still had 2 exercises and our PT had to leave. My gym buddy stayed until i was done which was nice. I also basically went down on almost every exercise in weight since i wasnt feeling it (at least the machine weights, not dumbbells). 

And as you can see the PT also kept his word and changed the order of our workouts so it would be easier to do certain things. I honestly feel like we do too much for our upper body day lol and it would be easier if we could split them into two days but whatever. I do feel and see a change in my upper body so i guess it works!?

PT Day 40: Legs

Yesterday we did cardio and today our PT let us know that he is sick so he ended up sending me our work-out overview from last week so we could write down what we did and also see what we already had done last week. I wrote it in a lil notebook that i have and i managed to push my gym buddy to go higher in weight in almost everything! For some weird reason we were very in the zone today and i also felt like i didn't have to have as long of a break between reps/sets as i usually do, which was kind of nice!

• 10 minute cardio (warmup)
• Abductor 1x12 (40kg) 1x12 (42.5kg) 1x12 (45kg)
• Lying Leg press 1x15 (40kg) (warmup) 2x12 (60kg) 1x12 (70kg)
• Adductor 1x12 (40kg) 1x12 (42.5kg) 1x12 45kg
• Leg curl 3x10 (32.5kg)
• Calf raise 1x12 (10kg) 2x10 (20kg)
• Leg extension 1x12 (35kg) 3x10 (40kg) 1x30kg myo reps

We ended up doing the calf raise on my recommendation since my gym buddy said the hamstring curl gave him knee pain. And since he doesn't do anything else for his calves i felt that it would be a good exercise to include.

Leg day at home

Bulgarian split squats 3x12 (7.5kg)

Romanian Dead Lifts 1x20 (bar) 2x12 (14kg) 2x12 (18kg)

Bodyweight squats 1x20

Barbell squats 2x12 (10kg) 2x12 (12kg)

Seated barbell good morning 3x12 (12kg)

PT Day 39: Upper body

Yesterday i did cardio with my gym buddy for an hour or so. Also i realized that with the assisted pull-ups i would usually be exhausted at the end because of all the other workouts so i asked the PT to look at our exercises and maybe make a new plan for us. He said he will look at it and figure something else out for next week!

• 3x15 lat pulldown 30kg
• 3x10 rows 30kg
• 3x12 lie incline dumbbell chest? 7kg
• 3x12 sit up dumbbell alternate bicep? 6kg
• 3x12 shoulder press 5kg
• 3x12 triceps idk 7.5kg
• 1x20 assisted pullups 40kg 1x12 35kg 1x8 40kg 1x10

PT Day 38: Legs

• 10 minute cardio (warmup)
• Adductor 1x12 42.5kg 2x12 40kg
• Sit Leg press 1x15 40kg (warmup) 3x12 60kg 
• Abductor 3x12 45kg
• Leg curl 3x12 30kg
• Hamstring curl 3x8 10kg
• Leg extension 1x12 30kg, 3x8 40kg 

Cardio (alone)

I was supposed to have a cardio day today with my gym buddy, but when i was at the gym he wasn't there. So i checked my phone and an hour before we were supposed to meet up he texts me saying he "ate something wrong" so he couldn't come. UGH. Well, i was already at the gym so i decided to just go for it and did cardio. I think i did cardio for about 45 minutes. I was sweating, but i tried to not go too hard cause i still had DOMs from leg day yesterday lol. 

I can definitely tell that i have less energy now that i am doing so much more working out during the week, but i still want to persevere. I hope it will get better now that i will eat normally again. I didn't start counting calories again, but i will probably start next week. I'm just so tired lol.

At home legs (tired)

I was so tired today when i woke up. Yesterday (to celebrate) i ordered some fries with some greasy snacks so it might've been that. I got stomachaches too LOL. Never eating greasy shit again!!!! I actually had an appointment this morning but i just cancelled and went back to sleep. I got up at like 3PM!!! So i instantly went into work-out mode. Did my work-outs, walked the dog, waited for my roommate to come home, hung out with him, and when he left for his guitar class i showered. 

• 15-30 minute warm-up
• Bulgarian split squats 3x10 7.5kg
• Barbell squats 1x20 bar only, 3x12 10kg
• Romanian Dead Lifts 1x15 10kg, 2x12 14kg, 2x12 18kg

PT Day 37: Upper body + weigh in

So yesterday i basically had no sleep because of my next door neighbor. I had to call the cops again, which is always fun. I then had a meeting in town and afterwards i went to the gym with my gym buddy. We were both not really feeling it but we still went and did stuff so i guess that is good.

Today i had my weigh-in, which the PT told me last week. So when i came in i immediately said "weigh-in!". I barely ate this weekend (again). But at least i can now count calories and protein again. I am just gonna start tomorrow cause it is easier. I am now sipping on a protein shake which i haven't done in a while. 

• 3x15 lat pulldown 30kg
• 3x10 rows 30kg
• 3x12 lie incline dumbbell chest? 7kg
• 3x12 sit up dumbbell alternate bicep? 6kg
• 3x12 shoulder press 5kg
• 3x6 overhead tricep idk 5kg
• 1x20 assisted pullups 40kg 1x12 35kg 1x8 40kg 1x10

The funny thing about the weigh-in was that i obviously don't look at the numbers, but i heard them murmur next to me. And my PT told me afterwards that the guy who did the measurements said that the measurements were weird and off because it showed that i LOST muscle mass, which made no sense to him cause he said "i see her working out and she is training hard so that makes no sense", which is kind of sweet and it is nice to know that people see that i am trying to work hard. So i wonder now if it is because i stopped counting protein which means i was consuming less protein and that's why my measurements were off. I guess we will see. I might let myself get weighed again on the last day that i will see the PT, because i am curious if my stats will change at all. 

I was also so hungry before i left for the gym. Yesterday when i got home from the gym i basically laid in bed and slept the entire evening. At one point i got up because my roommate was going to bed so i ate some granola and an apple. So i barely ate yesterday and the day before so i was starving. So after the gym today i went to the store to buy some stuff and i wasn't even in the mood to buy anything unhealthy, which was weird, but good. I was daydreaming this morning about eating all this bad food but once i was at the store i didn't feel like eating anything, so that's why i am sipping on my protein shake right now.

Also yesterday i wanted to start with my leg day at home, and then leg day at the gym, OR leg day at the gym + leg day at home once i got home, but because of no sleep + the appointment i just dropped it. And i was like "i'll start next week". But at least tomorrow i will do leg day and then on Thursday i will do cardio + upper body. I also need to start doing core again. The 100 core reps a day is something that i would like to keep so i might just implement that. I also want to kind of get calisthenics thingies. You know, those bars, so i can maybe do dips on them and stuff. 

PT Day 36: Leg Day

On Thursday my gym buddy and i went to the gym for cardio and we were on the treadmill for 1 hour. I cycled between different speeds and inclines and was sweating at the end so i guess that was a good thing.

I also know now why i was so tired and felt out of it cause i finally got my period (i should've gotten it 2 weeks ago but oh well). So all is good now. 

Today i had leg day with the PT and it went alright. I do feel like i am getting weaker now that i am not eating as much protein anymore. My PT wanted to weigh me but i told him next week so on Tuesday i will have my weigh in. So i think from Tuesday on i will start counting calories again and counting my protein. 

• 10 minute cardio (warmup)
• Adductor 1x12 (37.5kg) 2x12 (40kg)
• Lying Leg press 1x15 (40kg) (warmup) 3x12 (60kg )
• Abductor 1x15 (42.5kg) 2x12 (45kg)
• Leg curl 3x12 (30kg)
• Kickback 2x10 (7.5kg) 1x8 (10kg)
• Leg extension 1x12 (30kg) 3x8 (40kg) 1x21 (30kg myo reps: 5 5 3 3 3 2)

Leg day at home

I felt pretty good today. I thought i was gonna struggle, but i felt like i could push myself better. Idk if its because i have my meds again or if i am just having a good day.

• Abs (15 minutes)
• Stretch (10 minutes)
• Bulgarian split squat 3x12 (5kg)
• Goblet Squats 3x12 (5>7.5>10kg)
• Hip thrusts 4x12 (1x20kg > 3x30kg)
• RDL 4x12 (1x16kg > 3x18kg)

I first did my abs. I did: . With the two last ones coming from the Youtube channel Squatuniversity which is basically a physical therapist teaching you stuff. Those two exercises apparently help with core balancing or something like that idk. I tried them and i really did feel my core tense which was nice, so i think i will keep doing them together with my other workouts. I also like doing abs before leg day cause it warms up my body pretty well so i can stretch nicely.

I did my bulgarians with the 5kg weight plate again but i think i can easily go up in weight next time. Because of that i did my goblet squats with higher weight (with build-up). The 10kg went pretty well. Hip thrusts at 30kg were a PAIN. For me the biggest problem is just having to guide the weight and it feels like i get shortness of breath. I HATE it. Having a hip thrust machine or even a smith machine would help so much with that. Honestly, having a smith machine at home would be the dream. I actually found one that is 500-600 bucks that seems pretty compact (it is made for smaller spaces) and you can buy additional hooks so you can make it into a normal squat rack as well. I might look into that. I could easily put it in my backroom. That might be something i will look into for summer. Cause i know i can more easily grow my quads if i can do smith machine squats vs a regular squat (cause of the motion). And that way i can also practice bench press etc. AND i can do RDLs with a higher weight probably. I think overall the smith machine will help with getting my workouts done faster as well, so i will definitely look into it at some point.

I also need wrist straps cause i am already at 18kg with my RDLs and i feel that the weight is becoming pretty heavy. I also need grip tape or lotion or gloves(?) for the gym. Whenever i am in the gym and i do exercise machine for upper body my hands become so slippery. I don't have this problem at home, only in the gym and idk why that happens. This makes it very difficult for me to hold on to the weights and i often slip with my hands which makes me unable to do all my reps fully (like i still have the strength but i can't hold on anymore). There's this really tall guy in the gym who looks like a power lifter who wears gloves as well, i might ask him about it.

From my workouts yesterday i mainly feel my LATs and the sides of my core and the back of my arms lol. Might be that new exercise that i did lol. I also feel my shoulders a little bit so i guess i did something right.

Oh and i got a message today from my gym buddy! He asked if i still do cardio on Thursday and i said "uh yeah" which is not true but he doesn't need to know that. And he said he might want to go with tomorrow. So i guess i am doing cardio tomorrow. I actually had upper body planned but i might do that in the weekend since my roommate is gonna leave again to do his car stuff anyways. 

PT Day 35: Upper body (alone)

So yesterday no cardio cause my gym buddy is still recovering and now it is Tuesday and my gym buddy is still recovering. I didn't do legs yesterday cause i was out of meds and couldn't focus on anything, and I don't think i will go to the gym cause i feel that is just extra resources spend that i am not in the mood to spend right now. I am also currently not under the contract of the PT anymore so i can basically do whatever i want. I am just annoyed that i am basically left in some state of limbo with no guard rails just because my gym buddy fell ill. He btw also never messages me to tell me he is still sick. Last week i texted him every day to see how he is doing and i told him to let me know when we will work-out again, but i keep not getting any messages that he is "still sick" or whatever. Feels rude to me. It's funny cause he is always exclaiming what a great guy he is and that he was raised well LOL. I hate those types of people. If you were raised so well you would either say "i'll let you know once i have recovered fully" or you will just let me know on a case by case day (so every monday, tuesday, and friday) whether you will go to the gym or not. Just rude, dude.

So anyways, haven't done upper body at home for a while so i have to figure out what i wanna do.

• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 3x6
• bent over barbell rows 3x10 (10 kg)
• bar curls 3x10 (10kg)
• DB lat pull over 5x5 (7.5kg)
• military press 3x12 (10kg)
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)
• sitting twists 3x12

It went pretty well. First time i have done DB lat pull overs, although i feel like the weight was too high lol. So my form was probably shit. Oh well... i do feel most of my muscles already burning so let's see how i feel tomorrow!

PT Day 34: Leg day (alone)

Yesterday i was so tired. I only slept for like... 1 hour maybe. I had to get up early for an appointment. After that appointment i had about 1 hour of free time before i had another appointment. After THAT appointment i wanted to go to the gym, but i felt so tired that i ended up taking a nap, so no gym. I was also super sore from leg day on Wednesday. And then last night i got a text from my PT saying that i should workout alone today since my gym buddy is still sick and i am writing right now cause it is almost 3PM and i didn't go to the gym yet and i don't feel like it lol. Although, i am pretty sure that around 4PM the gym is basically empty. Maybe it is different now cause it is January but who knows... 

I tried to read through my blog to see if i wrote when it was empty and only found one entry where i said that on Tuesdays around 2PM it is pretty empty, although i don't think that is the case anymore. I will just get dressed now and pack my bag and figure out what i want to do and then i will go.

• 10 minute cardio (warmup)
• Adductor 3x12 37.5kg
• Horizontal Leg press 1x15 30kg (warmup) 2x12 60kg 2x10 70kg
• Abductor 1x15 42.5kg 2x12 45kg
• Leg curl 3x12 30kg
• Leg extension 1x10 30kg, 3x8 40kg

I decided to do the horizontal leg press today cause i feel that the lying down leg press is too scary for me to do alone atm. I also realized that in terms of strength i am about as strong on either of the leg presses so at least my strength will carry over to either machine. I think that when i want to go up in weight that i should first practice it on the horizontal leg press and then take it further/master that weight on the lying down one (cause i can do full ROM better on the lying down one). 

Core + Legs at home

I awoke this morning before my roommate went to work because he was sooo loud. I don't know what he was doing but he was so annoying. I fell back asleep, woke up by my alarm, and then fell back asleep again. I awoke somewhere in the afternoon which was great (sarcasm). I felt horrible; my stomach felt weird. I usually have this when i have not slept enough or my sleep quality was low. So bleh. But today i did another leg day at home. I actually started with an ab routine (if you want to know exactly what i did check @ read more). I felt like this way i would warm up the body and do core exercises as well. And while i was doing that i made a snack to get myself through leg day lol. So after abs i ate my food while stretching and then i started with leg day.

• Abs (15 minutes)
• Stretch (10 minutes)
• Bulgarian split squat 3x12 (5kg)
• Goblet Squats 3x12 (5kg)
• Hip thrusts 4x12 (2x20kg > 2x30kg)
• RDL 4x12 (10>12>14>16kg)

For my Bulgarians and goblet squats i used a 5kg weight plate and it is soooo much easier to hold and work-out with a plate than with a dumbbell, idk why. With the weight plate i can just hold it in front of me while doing a goblet squat and i feel that the weight distribution is better than with a dumbbell. Might just be in my head though. I also watched Wicked while working out. I actually started watching it yesterday, but didn't finish it yet. So my entire routine was basically 2 hours!!! I took 3 minute breaks between my sets, and 2 minutes extra between my workouts to set up the next one... and i also did abs and stretching so i guess that checks out.

PT Day 33: Upper body

So, my gym buddy is still sick. Which i already thought would happen. So i was gonna go to the gym alone today, at least for the first 40 minutes, which kinda sucked cause i feel uncomfortable doing upper body exercises on my own cause of all the big guys that walk around the dumbbell area. My gym buddy and i were gonna be there earlier but because he wasn't there i decided to go at 1.45PM and as i walked in and hung up my coat and stuff (it's freezing temps outside!), my PT came in LOL. So we did 10 minutes of cardio together. Then we did half of my upper body day. Then we had the evaluation. After the eval we continued with upper body day and he even joined! So that was fun. A lot of annoying people today in the gym though. It was packed! So i am glad i didn't go earlier on my own cause i would've probably left or something heh. He also asked if i wanted to get weighed and i was like "nah". So we will weigh on Friday. Which means i have 3 more days to shed some weight. This does motivate me and now i have a clear goal sooo that's nice! 

• 10 minutes treadmill (5/5)
• 1x12 30kg 2x10 35kg row
• 6x5 lat pulldown 30kg
• 1x12 6kg, 2x10 7kg chest press
• 1x12 7kg, 1x9 8kg, 1x6 8kg, 1x7 7kg bicep curls
• 1x12 5kg 2x10 6kg shoulder press
• 2x12 40kg 1x12 35kg
• 3x12 7.5kg tricep extension

We couldn't do the overhead tricep extension cause some tall annoying ginger kid was on the machine that we needed and we couldn't do it anywhere else. Instead of us "working in" he said "oh i just started" and he was doing some exercise per arm and then when he was done he started doing something else. So instead of waiting we went for the assisted pullups and after the assisted pullups we just went for the normal tricep extension. There was also another guy training who asked the dude if he was done soon and he was like "no". I hate people who hog a machine for like 20 minutes wtf lol. Go train at another time or something or let people on the machine while you rest? He then asked me if i was done soon and i was like "last set, probably 1-2 minutes :)". But then again, my gym is small and needs way more machines. I can't imagine what the gym is like at peak times ugh!

I btw did drink a protein smoothie after my work-out. I only blended the protein with some chocolate protein soy mylk; no banana, nothing. It was actually pretty good, so i think i can withhold the banana from now on to save on calories. I also only ate 900 calories today, and got 60g of protein, just enough! I ate two pieces of potato gratin and some protein soy bits before my work-out, then after work-out my protein smoothie, and then later in the evening granola with soy yogurt and an apple. I know i'm eating pretty unhealthy and way below what i should be eating but damn i don't care. I don't really feel that hungry which is nice. On  Friday i am going to celebrate with pizza!

Leg day at home

Ugh, today i am NOT feeling it. I woke up on time and everything. I wanted to do leg day at 12PM, end at around 13.15PM and then go to the gym for cardio at 13.30PM with my gym buddy.

First i got a text from my gym buddy that he was sick. Ok. Then something happened that left a mess in my house DURING my work-out that i had to clean up that set me back 30 minutes. And once i was done with my leg day i was EXHAUSTED (and i cut out hip thrusts cause i felt so exhausted). I also felt that i could go higher with my squats, but i didn't. And i definitely could do the Romanians higher, but i was too lazy to swap out the weights sooo... yeah. I want to try another leg day on Wednesday.

I wanted to clean my room but i was SO tired that i took a nap for like 3 hours. And even when i woke up i kept falling asleep. I felt a bit better later on, but still really tired. I am going to assume that my vitamin D levels are really low again.

So yeah, no cardio today. I already agreed to go to the gym earlier with my gym buddy tomorrow cause of my eval, but i am going to assume he will still be sick... but i will still go earlier and just do 30-45 minutes of cardio on my own and then wait for my PT to arrive, i guess.

Today i only ate 1100 calories and 43.5g of protein. It's actually crazy how little protein i eat when i don't pay attention to it lol. Luckily the majority of my food today was healthy: unsalted nuts, rice + quinoa, tempeh, pure chocolate, unsweetened granola, and unsweetened natural soy yogurt. So nothing too crazy. 

I would like to eat less tomorrow but we'll see.

• Bulgarian split squat 3x12 body weight
• Squats 1x20 bar, 3x12 10kg
• RDL 4x12 10kg
• 100 crunches

PT Day 32: Leg Day (+ diet announcement)

I was biking to the gym when i realized my bag was really light and i forgot my water bottle. I was already running late, but now even more. I was like 10 minutes late, but i still got my workouts done in time which is cool! It was pretty quiet in the gym. More elderly people than usual. There was a personal trainer next to me talking to his client and about the "January gym memes" and he said that it wasn't that bad and joked about it. 

I also tried the lying leg press today! I could do about as much weight as the other leg press so i feel like it doesn't really matter which one i use. I did realize, just like with the sitting leg press, that my butt almost comes off the chair so i feel like it doesn't matter which one i use the problem stays the same. The lying leg press is super imposing though, so i think i will use a mix of them depending on my DOMs tomorrow hehe.

(i just checked and it seems like what i am doing is normal. my lower back stays on the pad it's just my butt that rotates with my legs so it seems like i am doing it right? maybe i need to bring a mirror next time so i can see what i am doing LOL) 

My upper body is still ever so slightly sore from Tuesday. The overhead tricep pull KILLED me, which is a good thing i guess. Next week on Tuesday my training buddy and i will be in earlier cause i have my evaluation and it's at 2.30 and normally we train at 2. So we will train at 1 without the PT and then the PT will come in at around 1.30-2. So i asked the PT to send me an overview of the workouts that we do and he made a picture of his booklet so i FINALLY know my actual reps and sets for upper body! Uh but yeah this is what i did today:

• Adductor 3x12 37.5kg
• Leg press lay 1x15 30kg - 3x12 60kg
• Abductor 1x15 42.5kg 2x12 45kg
• Leg curl 27.5kg 1x12 30kg 30kg
• Kickback hamstring curl 10kg 3x10
• Leg extension 1x10 35kg, 3x8 40kg

I went up in weight with the leg curl, hamstring curl, and leg extension. The leg extension 40kg went easier than i thought so i think next time i will go up in weight a bit.

Oh and here is my announcement: i think i am going to eat less calories and thus less protein. I will write more >>>

PT Day 31: Upper body

Today went pretty well! I asked if instead of doing the normal standing pull-down tricep work-out we usually do i wanted to do the overhead one. It was so tough! I could only do 3 sets of 6 reps, but i felt it in multiple different muscles in my arm, which was pretty nice. So i think i will keep on doing that one. My training buddy didn't like it so he just did the pulldown one. We also used the machine for assisted pullups and i used the 40kg one. I have no idea how much i weigh but i would guess between 55 and 53kg since the machine didn't move at 60kg but it did move at 50kg. Next week is the last week i believe i have with my PT but he said i can keep training with him since he keeps training with my training buddy so i can just tag along, but i will have to do my weigh-in and stuff like that. So i think i might do cardio every day and do some fasting this weekend. I just really badly want to have different numbers on the scale next time i'm on it and i want it to be a big change, so i guess i will do that. 

So tomorrow i want to do a leg day at home + cardio. Then on Thursday i want to do upper body day at home + cardio. And then Friday we do leg day at the gym with a little bit of cardio. And then in the weekend i will just do a fluid fast. I might just chug away protein smoothies and my new clear protein. The delivery guy was btw at the door while i was home? But he didn't ring the doorbell? And the package is at my neighbor now who isn't home... so instead of drinking a protein shake after the gym i had a protein bar. Which is kind of lame. But oh well. 

Oh and i did 100 crunches this morning!

• 100 crunches
• 5 minutes treadmill
• 3x15 lat pulldown 25kg
• 3x10 rows 30kg
• 3x12 lie incline dumbbell chest? 7kg
• 3x12 sit up dumbbell alternate bicep? 6kg
• 3x12 shoulder press 5kg
• 3x6 overhead tricep idk 5kg
• 1x20 assisted pullups 50kg 1x15 45kg 1x10 40kg

Monday: Cardio (Hello 2025!)

Well... here we are! New year, new me? Today i wanted to do a leg day combined with cardio. Cause my new gym buddy and i have decided that every Monday we will do a cardio day. My thought was to first do a leg day at home and then finish the day with an extensive hour of cardio, but i wasn't feeling it today. At first i was supposed to have an appointment in the morning that got canceled so i fell back asleep and then i got up too late to do a leg day. I have now promised myself to do a leg day on Wednesday.

The gym today went pretty well although i felt the most tired i have felt in a while. I think that's because i haven't been taking my vitamins... i realized i had an energy dip already last week so i have been taking my vitamins again so i hope i will feel better soon.

For cardio we usually do a 10-15 minute warmup on the treadmill, followed by 10 minutes of extensive cross trainer, then 5-10 minutes on treadmill to cooldown and then 10 minutes on the stairmaster. The stairmaster kills me every time!!! I sweat like a little pig omg. I kind of want to do more cardio and wish i had a cardio machine at home cause that would make my life so much easier but alas. After that we do like 30-45 minutes on the treadmill. I usually walk a heavy incline that i increase/decrease throughout the minutes. This is like the 3rd week now we have been doing this and i already feel that i am losing some of my excess fat!

I also bought more protein today; new protein powder for my smoothies and also a new clear protein powder, so that's nice. I read somewhere that someone used cold tea to blend with the clear protein (in peach flavor) and i was like "omg that's such a good idea!!!". I think i might even blend mine with hot tea cause i drink so much of it cause it's so gosh darn cold. But we'll see! The package already shipped and i should be getting it tomorrow before i go to the gym.

I am also looking for new gym pants since i mainly wear my oversized sweats but i want more of them cause i hate doing a small wash every time i come home from the gym. I want to be able to do all my washing at once. I think i need to buy more towels as well and maybe some more tops and i'll be good. But the pants are most important. I found an American brand that sells a lot of oversized sweats so i am thinking to buy from there, even though everything seems to be made from polyester... I can't find any proper cotton baggy sweatpants anywhere else though, and when i do it's expensive as hell. I wont pay more than $20 for a pair of sweatpants LOL are you kidding me.

Oh oh oh, and tomorrow when i get up first thing i'll do is vacuum the rug in my living room and then do 100 situps. Let's goooooo.