Vacation!!!

I brought my friend to the train station today cause he is going to the airport to go visit his family for about 2 weeks. Which means... i have 2 weeks off!!! At first i was thinking about cancelling appointments and just have at least one week to myself, but i think that isn't necessary. And it will help probably with staying in the flow, but i mean, i can always cancel appointments if i really have to. I don't think i will really miss his presence or realize that he's gone until the weekend, cause that's when he is around the most. I have a weird sense of excitement that he is gone and i feel motivated to do things. And on top of that, i can do my nightly walks with my dog and smoke and i don't have to be scared that he might smell the smoke on me or whatever. It will feel nice to just be able to be in my house and to not have to take into consideration that i have to be quiet or not leave my stuff laying around cause someone is living with me. Like, for example, after i dropped off my friend i went to a store to pick up some stuff like shampoo and cleaning things and i didn't unpack my bags. They are just laying in the living room. And i know i will unpack them at some point today, but i don't feel like it right now, because i, for example, have to walk my dog and get dressed for the gym, and i also want to stretch so i feel like those things are more important and i can clean up the bags later. Even before i go to bed if i wanted to. 

Ever since my friend lives with me i constantly feel like i have to clean up NOW, and i have to make sure i do things NOW. Not because i necessarily have to, but i know that if i slack for one second he will see that as a "signal" that he can slack too and it is really tiring. A normal person would think like "oh, she will clean that up later no problem". But he sees it as a "oh she didn't clean it up, that means that next time i can also just leave my stuff laying around and she can't complain about it". It's kind of like that, and it is tiring to live like this. I wonder how different my weeks will look. I never was really on time at the gym ever since i started training with my personal trainer, so i wonder if i can be on time now every time, since my roommate isn't here so it is easier to just leave a mess.

The problem is also, when i lived on my own and i would make a mess, it would be like "oh i'll clean that later, and if not later, i will clean it tomorrow or whenever i have time this week". But i can't do that. I have to clean it the same day. So that gives me additional stress. So i hope i will feel better this week (and next week).

I kind of hope i can get to clean the entire house this week, so next week i can focus on other things, or i can just relax. I also have a bunch of laundry i can get through, and i have an extra drying rack now, and it since i don't need the extra space i can just put it wherever i want, so i hope to get through all the laundry this week. Aaaaaa so much to do! But first, today is upper body day so gotta do that and then we'll see.

Edit 23 march: My roommate/friend came home last week. He has been home for about a week now. He had this week off too. It was annoying to have him back again. We did go to the city and shopped, went to IKEA at some point, and also cleaned the yard, but it wasn't "more fun" just because he was there. Every night it was the same thing where we would sit on the couch and just watched something on Youtube. I felt uninspired and dead inside. I also didn't get to clean my entire apartment so there is still stuff to do, bleh. At least from tomorrow on he will go to work again so i will have the day to myself! I will probably also start trying to get up earlier. I know it will be difficult for me to do, but i feel like it is imperative for me to do so, if i want my days to be functional, and my days to be mine.