Leg day at home + some May thoughts

Yesterday core went well (i updated what i did in the two week overview post), don't feel it as much today as i did last week which is kind of annoying cause i like to feel the burn. Maybe i didn't do enough. I forgot to do one exercise (side hip raises) and then flaked on the other one (hanging knee raises) so it is my own fault. 

Today is leg day at home. I am speaking to my best friend again so i am waiting for him to get home from work so we can work out together. My squats and deadlifts are going up in weight (from 4 to 8kg) but it should still be relatively easy for me. I am dreading once i go up in weight, because i am so weak lol. I am also going to try and do my bulgarian split squats with 10kg dumbbells (7.5kg warmup first). 

I am also thinking to start cutting my calories. I am really not happy with how flabby my core is; i feel like my body looks leaner, but there is a lot of flab. I might try to go to the gym daily to do some light cardio (like walking up hill on treadmill), but it depends on how i feel idk. I am trying to not make excuses for myself, but it is difficult since i deal with some anxiety, however i know how important it is to expose yourself to things you don't like/are afraid of, so i just have to overcome that. So let's just say: from tomorrow on i am going to the gym every day to do cardio, and let's see how that goes. I'll keep you updated.

I also want to start cutting calories because of the flab. I tried to cut calories last week but i felt so lethargic, so i am going to try and do it again. I will give myself "cheat meals" on Wednesday and Saturday; like have whole grain pasta on Wednesday's, and have something more fatty like pizza on Saturdays. I used to do this 2 years ago combined with running and doing light muscle exercises daily and my body looked really good, so lets try to keep this diet the entirety of May! I stopped counting calories and protein too so i will pick that up again starting tomorrow.

Update: leg day went really well. Instead of normal squats i did sumo squats cause they feel a bit better on my knees than normal squats. Hip thrusts with 20kg was insane, but i will keep at it until i normally can do them with 20kg. I kept falling over doing my 10kg dumbbell squats, which was kind of annoying, but i will also keep at it until i can do them normally (without falling over lol). 

Two week overview (29 april - 14 may)

I wanna write out for myself what i want to do the coming 2 weeks because i feel it will help. I looked around a little bit to see if there are different ways i can do some of my exercises and there are some. Like for example, i can start doing single leg work outs, like doing single leg RDLs with dumbbell, single leg leg press etc. I am thinking of maybe doing the single leg workouts after these two weeks are over.

Saturday - Core at home

3x15 Bicycle crunches (per leg)

3x20 Seated alternating knee tuck  (per leg)

3x15 Reversed crunch

3x20 Weighted oblique twist (10 reps per side) (7.5kg)

3x15 Dumbbell side bend (per side) (10kg)

Sunday - Legs at home

5x5 Sumo Barbell Squats (8kg)

4x12 Bulgarian Split Squats (7.5>10>10>10kg)

5x5 Romanian Dead Lifts (8kg)

4x15 Hip Thrusts (20kg)

3x12 Nordic Curls

Monday - Upper body at home

1x15 Lat raises (20kg) (at gym), 2x12 (25kg)

5x5 Barbell front raise (4kg)

5x5 Bar curl (4kg)

5x5 Bent-over barbell row (14kg)

5x5 Push up shrugs

5x5 Inverted rear dealt row

3x12 Seated barbell twist (4kg)

Body changes

I realized when it comes to body changes that mainly my back leg muscle is growing a lot, and ever since i stopped doing my home work-out routine as much, my butt has shrunk in size again, so it is obvious that my home routine was doing something. I think that i might start changing my routine again where, when i go to the gym mon/wed/fri, that i instead go Monday and Friday and that i work-out at home on Wednesday and Sunday. Then Tuesday/Thursday gym and Saturday at home.

My waist has shrunk in size as well. I naturally have a pretty small waist and larger hips (so a hourglass figure) and it is finally coming out more again.

I think what is killing my gains the most is that on my "off" days i very often try new work-outs or i am figuring out routines to do (like for my upper body or core), which makes it more difficult to track whether i am getting stronger or not. Next to that, i very often skip those days too because i feel lethargic or i just forget. And maybe, just maybe, doing legs every other day makes me exhausted, which makes no sense cause i literally did my legs every other day for an entire month at home and i was totally fine (i maybe skipped it once or twice). 

On some days i am also getting really sick and tired of just propping my mouth full with protein. I wish i didn't have to eat so much, it is getting annoying. I even stopped tracking my calories and protein intake, cause i hated seeing how many calories i was actually consuming and it made me uncomfortable.

Anyways, new routine maybe starting next week:

Monday: arms/shoulders home
Tuesday: leg day gym
Wednesday: day off
Thursday: leg day gym
Friday: core at home
Saturday: legs at home
Sunday: day off
Monday: legs at gym
Tuesday: arms/shoulders home
Wednesday: legs at home
Thursday: day off
Friday: legs at gym
Saturday: core at home
Sunday: legs at home

Superset gym day

Another gym leg day! Yesterday i didn't do anything cause i got distracted with other things whoops.

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip adductors 2x15 (25kg), 2x10 (30kg), 1x20 sets of 5 (30kg) 
• Leg extension 1x12 (15kg), 3x10 (20kg), 1x8 (25kg), 1x20 sets of 4 (25kg) 
• Leg press 1x15 (30kg), 1x15 (40kg), 1x12 (50kg), 1x10 (60kg), 1x26 sets of 5 (60kg) 
• Romanian deadlifts 5x5 4kg
• Stretch

I went to the gym way later than i wanted and the entire gym was full with zoomers (my bad). I had to turn around my entire training schedule because the machines i wanted to use were constantly occupied which was very annoying.

I started with the hip adductors which were a pain in the ass (not literally) because my adductors were still sore from Wednesday. Before i leave my house i always stretch and i couldn't stretch the adductors as well as i usually can which was annoying. Doing 30kg was very difficult (i was struggling around the 8 reps) and i didn't write down that i wanted my super sets to be 4, not 5, so i thought my super set had to be 5 reps so that kind of fucked me up lol.

After the adductors i wanted to do the leg press but it was occupied, so i waited for a bit and it was still occupied so i just decided to do the leg extension. This wasn't very smart because my legs hurt so badly after doing my supersets that i could barely walk and i was getting very annoyed because to me, gauging my strength is done through the leg press, it is my most important work-out at the gym, and i was gonna do it last. I wasn't happy about this.

At the leg press i felt like i was struggling a lot, especially with the 50kg, and the 60kg wasn't easy either. I did a superset of almost 30 reps, but i think i only hit 26 and then i just died. My legs hurt so badly and i usually never have lactic acid problems when doing the leg press. So next time i will just wait to use the leg press, cause i am never gonna do it last again.

After the leg press i just went straight home cause i could barely walk and someone was doing the lat raises, so i was like whatever. I was thinking about maybe just walking into the gym to do lat raises on my arm/shoulder days and then walk out. The gym is nearby and i would only have to use one device so i wouldn't really care how crowded it is. I won't even bother going to the changing room, just walk in and out.

Anyways, at home i did the RDLs which went easy since 4kg is kind of a very low weight for me, and then for stretches i did an extra 20 minutes of adductor stretches since they felt so tight. At the moment they are still sore but i don't feel as stiff.

Now i have Sunday to look forward to to do my entire home routine. 

Gym leg day!

 Gym today was gud. I woke up a little later than i wanted but that's okay since i still ended up going. 

• Warm-up (23 minutes)
• Hip adductors 1x15 (25kg) 3x10 (30kg)
• Leg press 3x15 (30>40>40kg), 1x12 (50kg), 1x10 (60kg )
• Leg extension 4x12 (15>20>25>25) 
• Lat pulldowns 3x15 (20>20>25kg)
• Barbell squats 5x5 4kg
• Stretch

After the gym i went to the store to grab some food and then when i came home i did my 5x5 squats. I warmed up with the bar and did 10 squats, then i put the weights on and i did 5x5. On Friday i will try and do it with 5kg and build up from there. 

Anyways, hip adductors were a little tough today. I only got to 6-8 full reps with 30kg, and had to push my legs really hard (sometimes pushing them closed with my hands) to get to 12. I think next time i will go 15>20>20>25kg and then do another 25kg super set till 20 reps (do some reps, rest, do some reps, rest till i hit 20). 

Leg press went a bit tougher today too. I felt the chemicals boiling in my quads with only doing 40kg. I think i will also super set the leg press on Friday with 60kg. I honestly think i will super set everything on Friday.

Leg extension was rough as always. After doing 8 reps with 25 i had to take a deep breath and take a 1 second pause to get myself to 12. So i am excited to super set this on Friday.

I forgot to do cable kickbacks today. I felt a bit distracted, but i did end up doing the lat pulldowns, which went quite tough. I thought last week i did 30kg, but i did 25kg and 25kg went a bit easier today (still very tough). 

And the squats went alright. I still don't know how to squat properly. I feel like every time i squat i do it differently. The introduction guy from the gym walked over to me today to ask how i'm doing and i told him i got a barbell and stuff and he said that they were more than willing to help me if i want to practice squats in the gym so that's cool. I did tell him did it was scary and intimidating to me cause there are so many strong people around and i don't want to look stupid. He also said it was cool that i got into fitness so much, but like... i was already planning on doing that with or without the gym lol. 

O yeah, my warm-up was also a bit longer today cause there were some kids on the stair master, so i kept going on the elliptical until they left. So i got an extra 3-4 minutes on the elliptical. I wonder if it is a holiday week or something, cause there were quite some teens in the gym and also a bunch of very young kids. I do know tomorrow is a national holiday so it might be that it is also a free week for school.

I wonder how much my legs will hurt tomorrow but i will do some core work-outs regardless. Friday leg day at gym again, and Saturday i will do arms/shoulders at home.

Catch-up

Ugh, i don't know what is happening. I feel so tired lately. I am eating protein heavy foods, taking my vitamin pills, and i'm even spending more time in the sun so i don't understand why i feel so tired.

Saturday
Saturday was the first day that i started working out with my barbell and it was ROUGH. I felt so incredibly weak, and i will have to figure out a way to properly build up strength to start squatting with a barbell etc. This is what i ended up doing:

• Front squats 1x10 - 0kg, 3x8 - 4kg
• Hip thrusts 4x12 - 20kg
• Bulgarian split squats 3x12 4 > 7.5 > 8kg
• Kneeling squat 4x12 8kg
• Four random workouts 4x10

Definitely the most annoying thing was loading and unloading the weights. 

Sunday

My entire body hurt; my shoulders and arms still hurt from the lat pulldown machine at the gym on thursday, my core hurt incredibly much from friday, and my quads and glutes hurt from Saturday. So rest day was imminent. 

Monday

That was yesterday. I was supposed to have a leg day at the gym. I woke up on time, got up, and then somehow found myself back in bed again and i slept till 3 in the afternoon. I was very annoyed with myself. I ended up doing some arm work-outs at home with the barbell since my legs still hurt and i was too tired to do anything like squats or whatever.

• bent-over barbell row 5x5 (10kg)
• barbell front raise 5x5 (0kg)
• bar curl 5x5 (0kg)
• push up shrugs 5x5
• inverted rear delt row 5x5 
• seated barbell twist 3x12 (0kg)

I did most of the work-outs with 0kg cause they were difficult to do with weight on the bar and i was also too lazy to put weight on the bar tbh. The bent-over barbell row was still difficult to do with 10kg but i did it. The other ones i just did with the bar. Next time (probably thursday or saturday) i will add 1 or 2 kg weights and build up from there.

Tuesday (today)

Since tomorrow is gonna be leg day at the gym, i will have to figure something else out for today. I already did arms/shoulders yesterday so idk what to do for today. I might just not do anything and rest. Maybe eat a calorie dense meal and hope that i wont feel too tired tomorrow to not wakeup on time to go to the gym. 

Labels

I'm trying to come up with labels to label my posts with, so this post is more for me to think out loud.

Gym day: for all days that i go to the gym
Gym leg day: leg days at the gym
Gym upper day: upper body at the gym
Home work-outs: all days when i work at home
Home leg day: leg day at home
Home upper day: when i do upper body at home
Home core day: when i do core at home
Program: when i discuss/research/think about my program
Research: looking up and researching programs
Leg program: when i discuss/look at leg programs
Glute program: when i discuss/look at glute programs
Upper program: when i discuss/look at upper programs
Core program: when i discuss/look at core programs
Diet: posts about food and diet things
Vent: more personal posts
Useful: posts i find useful to look back on 
Random: when it doesn't fit any other label

Core day

I haven't done my core in a while and my arms are dead from yesterday, and it is rest day for my legs so i will just do some core exercises. I haven't found proper core exercises yet that i enjoy doing and that i can perform properly so i am still kinda looking around. I found some new ones i want to try today that also incorporate the legs and glutes so that's a win-win for me.

• Bicycle crunches 3x20 (per leg)
• Seated alternating knee tuck 3x15 (per leg)
• High reverse plank 3x30seconds
• Dead bug 3x20
• Lying leg and hip raise 3x20
• Hanging knee raises 3x10
• Dumbbell side bend 8kg 3x15 

Edit: the above is what i ended up doing today. I had two more exercises i wanted to do - the lying side hip raise and roman chair sit-up - but i didn't do them because i didn't want to spend longer than an hour on this. I also didn't do a V-up cause i literally couldn't (i'm weak!!!)

Figuring out barbell leg routine

I am trying to figure out a routine for tomorrow where i can incorporate my barbell. It seems that some people do their squats and deadlifts on two separate days, but some people don't. It is very confusing lol. You also have back squats and front squats and i think that i would prefer to do front squats, for some reason having something on my back just irks me, and maybe it is also better since i don't have a squat rack yet. I might just do back squats on my normal gym leg days.

My ideal work-out program would be something like having 2 quad dominant days and 1-2 glute dominant days. I just don't really know how to incorporate that properly and the internet isn't very helpful either. I guess i shouldn't overthink it too much and i will learn along the way.

For tomorrow:

• Front squats 3x12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20
• Bulgarian split squats 3x12
• Kneeling squat 4x12
• Nordic curls 3x10

For Wednesday:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15
• Leg press warm-up 3x15 (30kg)
• At home:
• Reverse Barbell Hack Squat 4x12
• Romanian Deadlift 4x12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20

It's difficult to figure out what to do for Wednesday cause i still want to hit the gym, but i don't want to do the exact same stuff as i am doing on my other gym days and i don't want to go to the gym after my main lifts that i will do at home. Most people seem to do leg extensions and stuff after they lift, but i want to do that on my machine days. I just want to be able to squat properly and deadlift properly, so i can start using the smith machine at the gym, and then i can just plan my routines around that. Until then i am stuck with this, but i think my workouts look pretty good so far.

I just have to figure out arm/shoulder days, cause i want to incorporate that two times a week too to help with my lifting. I wish i could afford the personal trainers at my gym, but maybe that is something for the future.

The gym today was awesome!

As the title reads, the gym today was good. When i woke up this morning i checked my mail and it said that i was getting my barbell stuff between 19:00 and 22:00. Which was still not really as helpful but at least that meant i had the entire day to do whatever i wanted. I did have problems getting out of bed this morning (i really didn't want to and felt really tired) so i ended up going to the gym at around 11:40PM but then when i was just about there i realized i forgot my gym key, so i went back home, and i just biked to the gym instead of walking, so i was at the gym at exactly 12:00. 

It was a little bit crowded but it was mainly bigger guys, and some friends who were working out together. The vibe was nice so i didn't feel thrown off. This is what i did today:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15 (25kg) 1x15 (30kg) 1x15 (35kg) 1x15 (40kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>50) 1x10 (60kg) 1x1 (70kg)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg>2.5kg)
• Leg extension 3x12 (15>20>20) 1x8 (25kg)
• Lat pulldowns 3x15 (20>20>25kg)
• Stretch

I think this was my most successful day at the gym yet. I did hip abductors and i kept going up in weight, but it started to bore me (lol) so i went over to the leg press. Doing 60kg was pretty difficult on the leg press and doing 70kg was near impossible, but i hope to build up the strength to do at least 2 reps at the end of next week with 70kg. 

The cable kick backs were a disaster again, i even went down in weight, and i could not feel it in my glutes again, i don't understand it. I did some band kickbacks at home as a warmup and i could feel my glutes perfectly fine. I even did some kickbacks without the weight at one point to see how i should be standing and i kept not feeling them. It's just odd, but i am obviously doing something wrong. So that is under investigation until further notice.

Leg extension went decent as well. Since my max weight wasn't determined last time i just played around with the weights, and jeez louise, leg extensions are hell to do. My legs started to sour up every time at 12 reps, and with 25kg i could only get to 8. The problem isn't even that the weight is heavy and i can't pump it, it is literally the acid you feel building up in your legs. Really nasty feeling lol.

And to top it off i did my lat pulldowns today! I first did it with 20kg which was a bit too easy, but then 25kg was a bit too difficult but i kept going with it. My last 5reps were HELL but i powered through it. Next time i'm gonna start with 25kg instead.

When i came home i drank my protein, stretched, and just chilled a bit. I had to go to the grocery store to stock up on food again, so i did that. I usually do not like to go to the store during the day cause there are always so many people (why? why cant you go later or in the morning). They also take their entire families with... it's always a disaster. Anyways, i went, cause i didn't need that much anyways. Then i got home and i relaxed and played some computer game while listening to a podcast.

Then around 18:00 the doorbell rang and there were 7(!!!!) packages for me with my weights yay! I now have my weights. The barbell itself is heavier than expected and the 20kg plates are KILL, but i am very happy with my stuff. Now i only need a squat rack and i am good to go. I have to also figure out where i am gonna store all this but i was thinking to just put the plates under my couch on a thick piece of carton so i can easily shuffle them around and grab them when needed, and i can put the barbell wherever i want, so i think i will do that.

My arms hurt like heck, and my legs only hurt a little. I am excited to work out with my new stuff this weekend!

I haven't written for a while

On top of it being my dog's first birthday without her, i also had to deal with getting my period. So i was just a whole mess and i was very, very tired. I have been trying to do some workouts at home in the meantime but i didn't really have the energy most of the time to get anything proper done (except for one day where i did a full leg/glute day). Sooo yeah, i haven't been going to the gym for a good week now.

That said, i should be going to the gym again tomorrow. Only problem is that i should also be getting my package tomorrow with my barbell and weights, and the time says "between 08:00 and 22:00" and i have to be home for the package. Yes, very helpful! 

I should be getting an update tomorrow morning when exactly they will deliver the package and if it is between 10 and 12 i am going to scream, cause then i wont be able to go to the gym again. I might go in the evening tho because from what i remember the guy said that on thursday and friday's it is pretty empty cause "everyone is out clubbing". However, i just prefer to go to the gym earlier in the day. I also have to go to the grocery store tomorrow so everything is really falling in reverse but whatever.

If i make it to the gym tomorrow i would like to:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15 (15>20kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>40>50)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg)
• Leg extension 4x15 (2x15kg 2x20kg)
• Lat pulldowns 3x15 
• Stretch

For my work-out on Saturday i will have to figure out what i want to do at home, but if i have my barbell i would like to start squatting, hip thrusting, split squatting, and deadlifting. That should be fun! I also found out that i can dead hang way longer on my pull-up bar than i could before (1 month ago i could barely hang for 25 seconds without dying of pain, now i can easily hang for 1 minute and 30 seconds, even though it feels like i have no fingers afterwards). I can also pull myself up on the pullup bar a little bit. Barely tho lol. I am still very weak, but i am making progress! And that is nice to see, especially knowing that i barely work on my arms and shoulders.

Didn't go to gym

This morning i woke up and i felt absolutely EXHAUSTED, like i ran into a freight train. I said to myself that i would just go to the gym a bit later and i went back to sleep, but i still felt exhausted later on. Since i had an appointment at 1PM i couldn't go early in the afternoon either (not that i would want to), so i decided not to go.

I realized later on that today is the birthday of my pet who i lost last year (she became 16 years old). I think it somehow mentally affects me more than i would care to admit, so i am going easy on myself today. I was thinking to maybe go to the gym tonight, but i just really need to relax. I cried a few times today and allowed myself to. Losing a loved one isn't easy. I put some flowers on her grave (she's buried in my backyard), and spend some time at her grave as well. I did some other yard work to spend some time outside at least (it was nice weather; sun was shining, and it wasn't too warm either). I also plan to play a new indie horror game, that i wanted to play for some time, tonight.

Since i didn't do core yesterday, i might do core today. Tomorrow i'll do arms. I might go to the gym on Sunday if i feel like it, if anything to see how many people are around. I could do some cardio, and do like two machines, but i'll see how i feel. I also have to walk the dog this weekend, so i'll have to see how that vibes. I might just run with the dog for cardio.

Some days you just have to take it slow; whether that is for your physical or mental wellbeing. Today was one of those days for me.

More barbell research

Every day that i breathe more (lol) the willingness to buy a barbell grows. I decided to do a bit more research, and i found out that 28mm barbells are actually better for women (or just people with small hands i suppose). I have extremely small hands, and i hate it, but i have to live with it. This means that i can buy the weights from that one website that i spotted some time earlier. 

I found out that they have a kit for dumbbells that come with two small dumbbell bars and a bunch of small weights that are 20kg in total. They come in a neat case and together it's only 65 bucks. Then i want to get a barbell that is about my height (cause i don't think a big barbell is gonna do me any good), which is about 40 bucks. Then i want to get better clips to keep the weights in place, which is 6 bucks. And then i want to get some additional weights: 2x5kg, 2x10kg, which would be about 76 bucks. If i would get 2x20 then it would be 176 bucks. I don't think i want to get 20kg yet, but i'm also not sure. I think it would be good to just have it around. So everything in total should be 187 bucks; 287 if i get the 20kg. 

Now, the thing is they also sell a set, but the set has a barbell that is too big, and if you get the other set, then you don't get heavy weights. In total with the former set you get 80kg worth of weights and you also get the small dumbbells for 250 bucks. My own little barbell thing has 50kg (90 if i include the 20kg weights) and would be 181 bucks or be 281 bucks with the 20kg weights, which is about the same price.

So i don't think the set is worth it, because i would also have to get the smaller barbell if i get the heavier set, so i think i will stick with my own set that i've made. Oh yeah, i also want to get one of those foam pads. I think they are like 15 bucks. I think i will have everything then for the insane price of 300 bucks.

The only thing i would need after that is a squat rack, but that will come later. I will first have to learn how to do squats anyways with only the barbell itself and i can probably just throw the barbell on my back by putting it on some chairs or my couch or something.

I will check my bank account tonight or tomorrow to make a decision on what i will do. 

I also decided to not work-out today cause i have a lot to do for work and i have to clean up my apartment, do the laundry, and i was hoping on bleaching my hair today. I also have an appointment early tomorrow afternoon and i just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything lol. If i feel like i have left over time tonight i might do a core routine, maybe with some arms, and stretching, but we'll see. No promises.

Glute transformation posts

I was scrolling through reddit when i stumbled upon this random thread: 9 months glute transformation. I read the entire thing, looked at the pictures, the comments... OP responded to a lot of people which was helpful too, but what i could gather from what she wrote is that we basically did the same amount of research in the same places haha. She is also the same height and weight as me which is helpful too. Her leg gains are insane. I also rarely feel exercises in my butt anymore (unless i work-out at home) so it was good to see that she made it work for her somehow. 

Also, this is her current routine: glutes/legs/glutes/upper body/glutes/full body. I don't know what she does differently on leg day vs glute day, since most leg exercises target the glutes too, but it is nice to see her routine to have a certain sense of what to work towards.

What i also found funny is that she said she only tracks her protein, because i do the exact same LOL. I do also track my calories, because that is an old habit instilled in me, but besides that i only track protein. I don't care about other stats.

I found another thread with a girl who has the same stats as me. She also has weights for at home, cause as she said, she sometimes doesn't have enough time for the gym, or she feels shy/what have you. It's nice to know that i am not the only one who feels this way, and this only makes me more confident in getting a barbell for at home. She said that she mainly "deadlifts, barbell bridges, dumbbell kneeling squats, barbell military press" at home, since she doesn't have a rack. She said her current routine is "glute focused workouts 3 days a week" with a 20 minute warmup (like me!), one day a week of cardio, and upper body push/pull on other days.

I never knew this sub reddit existed, but it is nice to read what other girls (my height/weight) have been doing and people are giving good advice in the comments. It is way better than the stupid bodybuilding forums and fitness subreddits, where everyone (read: men) just seem to be gloating about how much they can lift, and the overall vibe is just off. Everyone seems so friendly here! I wish the subreddit was more active tho...

Running

Now that i am going to the gym more and i realize that my stamina is getting better, i am very excited to start running again. I used to run every summer, and then when summer ended i stopped cause it got too cold outside. So every year i would run for maybe 4-5 months and then stop the rest of the year. One year i tore a certain muscle in my leg and it hurt from my butt all the way down to my calf. I walked with a limp for a month, and i kinda got scared of exercising after that and put down running for about 1-2 years.

But now that i am exercising and doing proper warm ups i am actually excited again to run, and i can even keep up running once it gets colder, cause i can just run in the gym (if i want). I prefer to run outside tho, so we will see how that goes. I also don't run a lot. Usually i would run for 20-30 minutes, and in the ending months i would sometimes go for 40 minutes. It also isn't just running. I do a run/walk cycle, that i slowly build up over time. Because i have breathing issues, i can't just run for 20 minutes in a row. It would kill me probably lol. In the beginning it is usually like 1 minute running, 3 minutes walking, and i slowly build it up. I got the idea from couch to 5K. Now that i am working out i wonder how much better my stamina is. 

I did always run when it became darker outside, cause i was a little bit embarrassed. I will probably still run around twilight cause it is my favorite. Too bad twilight doesn't last too long, even though i feel more confident now. I think running will also help with going to the gym.

I use the zombie app (i forgot the name) while i am running. It is nice cause there is a story that you follow and in between you can listen to your own music. Next to that, you can also set sprints, where you have to run away from zombies. This happens randomly throughout your run and you can set yourself how many times you want it to happen. This is actually really helpful and fun to do, because it makes you push harder. You also get an end result thing so you can see how much you ran, where you ran the fastest, where you ran the lowest. It is a very neat little app, too bad it costs money if you want to get the max out of it. I believe you only get one episode for free every 24 hours if you don't pay. I bought it at its inception years ago, so i don't have to pay for a monthly subscription. It sucks that new people who wanna use the app have to pay monthly to not fall into that 24 hour thing. I will give you the name once i start running again in case you wanna use it or check it out (there might be a free trial).

Gym was good!

As the title might give away, the gym was good today! I left a bit later than i wanted (10.20AM instead of 10AM). When i just got at the gym the security gates (where you scan your membership thing) was broken and i couldn't get through and i looked retarded lol. I had to wait a bit till it was fixed, so my warm up started a little bit after 10.30. There were more people than i had hoped, but the overall vibe was a bit better. There were two girls that i had seen before that always work-out together, and there were two other girls that came in later while i was warming up. There were a lot of friends there it seemed, and a lot of them were jacked gym bros, but most of them started leaving at around 10.45. There was also this scrawny kid that started accumulating some muscle mass in his arms and he was doing all his work-outs so sloppily. I wish one of the bros would've gone to him and told him how to do it properly :( No hate to him of course, but it hurts to see when someone does something wrong. But no one seemed to pay attention to him which kind of eased me into (wow, no one gives a shit about anyone in here) (nice). 

There were also a lot of old people, and later on they all congregated together at the seating area and started singing happy birthday and drinking coffee together. If i didn't have my music i would've probably left lol. They were very loud. Thank god my headphones are noise cancelling headphones.

Also, after i climbed up the stairs i got greeted by the cutest pomeranian dog. It happily hopped to me and it was wearing this tiny little coat. It was ADORABLE. Apparently, in one of the group class rooms, they were giving a presentation and some middle aged mom had brought her dog. I petted it and she was like "oh, it is being a bit naughty today". I couldn't have thought about a better way to start my day tbh lol.

I managed to do everything i wanted to do at the gym today:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip adductors 3x15 (25kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>40>50)
• Romanian Dumbbell Deadlift 3x10 (8kg)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg)
• Leg extension 4x15 (2x10kg 2x12.5kg)
• Stretch

Warm-up was a bit daunting today. I think i did higher levels (i always forget to pay attention to it). There was a small (supposedly) gay man next to me who came in shortly after i went on the elliptical, and he went to the one next to me. At one point i wanted to do a level lower but i kept it on the same level that i had it at, so he was good motivation. He started out going pretty hard, but at one point we were in sync lol. I think he noticed it too. When i went on the stair stepper afterwards i started to feel this weird sensation in my stomach. I can't really describe it. I first thought i was going to pass out or something and i had to stop but i kept going (that might've been dumb). In the end i did it tho. At one point i kept changing the level between 5 and 6 because 5 was too easy but 6 became a bit too hard at the end. So i kept switching it up lol. But i did it in the end! Usually when i'm done with my warmups i sit against the wall and i drink water. I wait for my heartrate to go a bit down and i try to catch my breath. A lot of people say to not do hardcore cardio before your sets, but i like it because it gives me adrenaline, and it makes me push harder during work-outs. My legs also never feel tired after cardio, but i have ADHD so that might affect it too, so this might not be for everyone.

I had to do hip adductors today instead of abductors, since there was an old man on the abductor machine. Currently i am using 25kg but i think i might have to dial it down to 20. Usually my first set goes fine, but the sets after that i start to struggle. I did a warmup set with 20. So maybe i have to do 25 two times, and then after that do 20, so i can make sure to hit all my reps properly. I don't know why it is like that. I tried to do 30kg for shit and giggles and i barely could hit one rep. So getting strong enough to hit 30kg is a goal of mine right now.

After that i went to the leg press and i warmed up with 30kg. I then did two sets with 40kg. And i ended with doing 3 super sets of 6 reps with 50kg. Hopefully at the end of the month i can warm up with 40, do two sets with 50, and end with 60kg super sets!

After that i did the Romanian Dumbbell Deadlift and this was difficult for me. The loud group of old people were sitting right behind where the mirrors are, so it was a bit difficult to concentrate, but i tried to not look around and only pay attention to myself. There was a pretty big dude together with me in the weight area, but i tried to not pay attention to him. He made me a bit nervous cause he kept loading weights on his barbell and i was like "🥺i will never be that strong". The RDDLs didn't go as well as i had hoped. I did stand in front of the mirror for better posture, but i still sometimes felt it in my back. I only did the reps with 8kg. My first reps were 12 and my other two reps were 10. I couldn't do more, idk why. 

Then i finally got to do the cable kick backs. Apparently there are at least three machines there where you can do them so that is swheet. I did mine in the weight area, where there was more space. I had to wait a bit (like 10-15 minutes) for someone to help me, which was kind of annoying, but once it was explained it was easy. However, when i started doing them i didnt feel them in my glutes (like when i tried it at home at the doorpost). I hate how i practice stuff at home and it goes well, but then i go to the gym and i can't do it anymore. It is so, so frustrating. Also the cable kickbacks are a little bit harder than expected. I will practice it again at home tho and then hopefully i will be able to perform them in the gym properly on Friday.

I also realized there were two different leg extension machines, ones where you have to load the plates yourself and the ones where you stick the thingie in the weights. The guy who showed me how to do them put me on the loaded plates one, but it is at least good to know there are more, cause the one with the plates is usually taken by some gym bro. The guy who explained to me how to do it, didn't really explain much, so that was a bummer. He's an intern there and he was just like "you sit down, adjust the seat, load a plate, you are good to go" and i was like "uhhh that is it? i don't have to like brace any muscles?" and he looked at me like i was retarded. So i will have to look up the proper technique for that. I did google real quick if my feet had to point forward or up to the ceiling (the answer is up to the ceiling) cause he didn't explain that.

I also wanted to do my lat pulldowns today but i forgot about them tbh and i also didn't write them down, so i walked home and when i was home i got my two packages (a dress i ordered and hair dye cause im gonna bleach my hair), and i made my smoothie and it was perfect! I put just enough of every ingredient and it tasted soooo good. And then i started writing this while drinking my protein smoothie. Next up i will have to stretch and then i can finally start my work day.

So yeah, all in all, i would say that for Wednesday's leaving home around 10.30 would be good. I think the only problem is that both those friend groups seemed to want to go on the cardio machines that i was working out on, and the one friend group started working out at the exact same time as me, and the other one came in a little bit after that. So maybe 11 would be a better time? There was basically no one at the gym at around 11.29PM and around the time that i left some dumb fitness thot came in (which was around 12 i assume), so do want to be done at 12.

Gym tomorrow

Sooo yeah, gym tomorrow. What am i gonna do? I was thinking to do some things that i don't do at home. Thinking about doing the bulgarian split squat, squat, hip thrust etc. at the gym right now seems a bit too daunting, so i was thinking to do things that i can't do at home:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15
• Leg press 4x15
• Romanian Dumbbell Deadlift 3x12
• Cable kick backs 3x12
• Leg extension 4x15
• Stretch

I think this is a pretty decent routine for tomorrow, and i will only have to ask them to help me out with two machines (the last two ones). I was thinking to maybe add an extra day where i do arms/shoulders, but i will have to think about it. I might just look up some calisthenics i can do at home for my arms/shoulders (i knew some dudes in the past who grew their upper body pretty big just by working out at home, and since i don't wanna be that big it should be easy), but i might have to buy dip bars. I still have to look into my barbell situation, since i think that will already help a lot with getting stronger and more confident, and plus i will be able to do squats and deadlifts at home. I might also look into a 10/15kg dumbbell on a 2nd hand website. Today i did the ab routine that i did last week as well, but without the 30 minute stretching.

I also just figured out why it says on Google that between 9 and 11AM most people are at my gym, that's because they have group classes at that time. I want to slam my face into a brick wall right now. The same btw goes for 7 till 9PM. I wonder if there are way less people actually working out downstairs during those times (group lessons are upstairs). I will have to start figuring that out. I'm not one to wake up early, but if that means there are like 2 people at the gym, I'll gladly wake up as early as i need to.

I was first thinking about going to the gym tomorrow at 10.30AM, but i might just walk away from home at 10AM (that's when 2 classes just start). I also now wonder about the evenings. I'm sure most people will try and go after work, between 4 and 7-8PM. The gym closes at 10PM. I might start doing drive by's to see how crowded it actually is in the morning from 9 till 11 and in the evening from 8 till 10. I am actually REALLY curious right now, and also kind of hyped, and secretly hoping that the gym is way more empty than it is whenever i kept going, cause i thought those were the quietest times.

Also knowing how crowded and packed those group classes are, most people probably would want to avoid the gym, because there are limited parking spots, and probably also the dressing rooms are overcrowded. I am actually filled with hope now, but at the same time a little bit nervous, because i am scared that there will actually be more people, or more toxic people at the time that i now want to go. But we will see. I said in my previous post that i can't just go to the gym and try things out, but figuring out when most people are at the gym is something i can figure out, so i guess i will have to make due with that. 

Filled with a weird kind of hope.

Whiney vent

Tomorrow is gym day again and i want to kill myself... okay it isn't that extreme, but a part of me feels that dying is easier than facing whatever comes tomorrow, which is obviously ridiculous. The last few days i have been trying to read up more about going to the gym etc. and i have seen that some people say that having strong back muscles is important for preventing injury. Other than that, i have read a lot of stupid bullshit, as always. I am still so annoyed with how elitist the fitness/bodybuilding community is. 

I feel like i am in this weird area where i sit in between the total noobs who know nothing about bodybuilding and the more intermediate people; this means that i know enough, but not enough at the same time, which is very frustrating. 

I still doubt the two leg days program i have made, i have no idea what i am doing is right, and it is not like i can just go to the gym and find out. My "job" currently is kind of on the creative side of things, where i can just try out stuff and if it doesn't work, i can try something else until it does what i want it to do (obviously with pre-existing knowledge; but sometimes also no knowledge at all). You can't do that in the gym. I can't just go to the gym and try stuff and see if it works or not. You need to have pre-existing knowledge. You kind of need to know what you want to do before you go. I can't go to the gym, wanting to build my legs, and then just doing squats in the hopes that builds my legs. Besides that, how do you properly do squats? I don't know. And the worst thing is is that you pay for all of this. If you want someone to tell you how to do stuff you need to pay extra for it. I believe in most gyms here it is like 40 bucks per session, which is INSANE, especially if the trainer already works in the gym (and does nothing) (mind you i live in a country where minimum wage is law, and you get paid a lot).

All of this is so tiring man, and i'm only into this for like... barely 2 weeks and i feel so overwhelmed. I want to tell myself that it is okay to go to the gym and do things wrong, but it isn't. It isn't right. You will hurt yourself along the line and you will embarrass yourself too. I wish there was a small body building gym in my town so i could go there and ask some big papa bear to help me out with my exercises; i'm sure they would be nice enough to do that. But i'm not, and i'm stuck in a gym with young people and i hate it and i hate it and i hate it. I don't even hate exercising. I actually find it quite enjoyable. I just don't want any people around. I sound so whiney.

Still sore

My body still very much hurts, especially my legs, but it is not as bad as it was yesterday. Today i am supposed to do leg day at home, but since my legs still hurt so much, i might do a mix day where i do both core and legs since my core barely hurts anymore, but then i'm unsure what to do tomorrow so i have to think about it (i will work-out later today).

I am also babysitting a dog today from one of my neighbors (i do that sometimes) so we walked to the store in the middle of town to get her some snacks. I got at least 3 km (1,86 miles) in so that was nice.

And on a more personal update i have decided to take some time away from my best friend because he has been an asshole to me lately. I am not going into details 'cause it doesn't matter, but i feel like i deserve better than that type of treatment, so i think it is just better if i distance myself from him for a little while.

Edit: instead of making a whole new post i'll just tack on here what i did today:

• Bulgarian Split Squat 1x12 3kg, 2x10 7.5kg
• Hip thrusts 1x20 7.5kg,  2x15 10.5kg, 1x12 20.5kg
• Squats 2x12 3kg, 2x10 7.5kg
• Single leg RDL 1x12 3kg, 1x12 7.5kg, 1x12 10kg
• Nordic curls 3x10
• Calf raises 2x10 7.5kg, 1x10 10kg 

If you want to know how exactly i do them and my thought process behind my routine, check out my first post about "leg day at home". In the end i also walked about 4-5km today, and i even did some running in the rain with the dog which was fun haha.

Happy Easter!

Today, on Easter, i wanted to do core and some arm exercises but i woke up and my entire body hurt; my arms, my core, my legs. So today will be a rest day haha. I wont celebrate Easter so i will probably just clean up my apartment, since that is very much due.

I will also eat some nice foods today. The store had some tofu scramble which i picked up and i will prepare that now for brunch, together with a pancake. Then for dinner i want to eat tortellini. Yesterday was supposed to be my "cheat" day, but i forgot and just focused on eating protein heavy. O yea, i also almost ate 100 grams of protein yesterday which is my most yet! I was at 99.95 grams... imagine my annoyance.

Toxic fitness culture

Yesterday i talked with my best friend about toxic fitness culture and how annoyed i was with it after i came across this video: 

I told him how it felt like the Dark Souls community and he agreed. He said that he feels that the fitness community somehow brings out the worst in people and that it seems that no one cares about you doing better (as a beginner). He also said it is difficult sorting through all the information that is out there, which i agree with a lot.

I feel like i am putting so much pressure on myself; that i have to be perfect before i do any exercise in the gym otherwise i am a LOSER. And it's like... dude... i have to begin somewhere, right? How can anyone expect a total beginner with 0 muscle mass to do anything correctly in the gym. Sometimes i wish i was overweight, that way people would go like "oh look at the fat girl trying to lose weight!".  And when i am doing something wrong they just attribute it to me being fat. Now i am just a skinny girl at the gym and most people probably think i am an instagram thot or whatever, and i'm not. I don't even care if other people think my body is hot or not, i want to be confident in my own body, and that is it. I can't help it that i have decided to go for stronger legs, and that most of those exercises also happen to be exercises insta thots do a lot for their butts??? 

Something i did realize about those "fit girls" is that most of them have very flabby cores, and even though they work out their glutes a lot, their legs don't have a lot of muscle definition. That is definitely not what i want to look like.

It's annoying knowing that people have preconceived perceptions of you when you are in the gym working out, especially as a woman. I wish i didn't have to overthink these things and i could just close everyone out and focus on myself in the gym. It is definitely difficult to do that in the gym i go to, because no matter where you are, you can see everyone at all times. It is difficult not to notice people and what they are doing, rather than the opposite. At least my next two leg days will be at home so i don't have to worry about that right now.

Barbell

I've been looking at some barbells with weights on the internet to gauge the cost and stuff. I found some pretty cheap barbell weight plates but the hole was 28MM which doesn't fit with most bars. I mean, i can buy a 28MM bar but if that store stops selling the weights, i am fucked. So i definitely want to go for a 30MM bar with weights. It seems that i will have to dish out at least 200$ to get the minimum. The worst thing is that i want to mainly use the barbell for hip thrusts (also for squats) but with hip thrusts you can progress with weight real fast, which means that i have to invest in more weights. I will have to check how much money i have on my bank account (i haven't checked in a while) to see if i should make this purchase, otherwise i will have to wait at least 1 or 2 months, which is fine, i guess. 

I found one website that has a sale right now where the weights and barbell are really cheap but the problem is that on a surface level a 20kg weight for 40 bucks doesnt seem that bad, until you realize that you need two of them. I also found a "beginner" set up for 80 bucks that gives you the barbell with 30kg worth of weights and that seems to be the cheapest deal right now. I don't think i have to go with the most expensive or best gear since i am a light weight and i can barely lift 10 kg anyways lol. But i will still look around more to see what bang i can get for my buck.

Leg day at home

Today is leg day bby!!! I jumped out of bed, washed my face, ate half a nut bar, drank some tea, did some stuff around the house, stretched, put on some loud hype music and went straight for the leg day at home in my pajamas cause why not! (my pajamas are just a big tshirt with sweatpants so... it's not that different to what i wear to the gym tbh). 

Our leg day today at home consists of:

• Bulgarian Split Squats 2x12 (7.5 kg) 1x12 (3kg)
• Dumbbell Squat 2x15 (3kg) 2x10 (7.5kg)
• Hip Thrusts 1x15 (0kg) 2x15 (7.5kg) 2x10 (20 kg)
• Single leg dumbbell Romanian Dead Lifts 1x15 (3 kg) 2x12 (7.5kg)
• Band kick backs 2x15 (medium band) 1x12 (hard band)
• Nordic curls 3x12
• Calf Raises 2x10 (7.5kg) 1x8 (10kg) 

Okay it didn't go as seamless as i am writing here (i struggled getting up and wasn't in the mood to workout at all, but fake it till you make it?). I also had a lot of trouble doing certain exercises today and with certain weights. I don't know if that is because i am supposed to get my period soon or if it is cause my work-outs at the gym haven't been as lucrative, but i don't know. It also took me about 2 hours to do all of my exercises. I was focusing a lot today on my posture while doing the exercises. I tried to do a few of them in front of a mirror to make sure that my posture was good. It went pretty well, but i am still learning. I guess it is muscle memory too.

For the Bulgarian Split Squats i was struggling a lot with the 7.5kg weight. I don't know why. I used to be able to do almost 15 with them, which is around the time that i decided to sign up to the gym so i could lift higher. I couldn't do my last set with the 7.5kg weight and i had to take short 10 second breaks within my 7.5kg reps. Kinda disappointing.

For the dumbbell squat i started with a low weight to make sure my posture was good (i did it with just body weight before that while looking at videos on how to squat properly) then i went up in weight once i felt it went well. Going higher in weight made my posture kinda worse, so i might just keep going with the lower weight for now and end my set with a higher weight.

For the hip thrusts i started with the 7.5kg dumbbell and i later added my3kg dumbbell and my 10kg kettlebell to it. This is also one of the reasons i want a barbell for at home, so i can do this more properly at home, and with the proper weights. It is very clumsy to do it like this, but it is all i have. My first set was just with bodyweight to make sure my posture was good.

For the RDL i first wanted to do just a normal dumbbell RDL but i found the single leg one last night, and i wanted to try it out today. It is a lot like a cable kick back and it was very rewarding to do. I definitely felt it. I first did it with a lower weight again and then went to a higher weight to make sure my posture was good (i keep repeating myself LOL).

For the band kick backs i first used my medium leg band and i held myself against my door post. After 2 sets i went with the hard leg band. I could bend my leg higher with the medium one so that one burned more.

Nordic curls is just with body weights and putting my feet under my couch, and the calf raises i usually try to go till failure. I first used my 7.5kg dumbbell and did the last set with my 10kg kettlebell.

I also did most of my work-outs in front of the mirror; it is a little awkward to be honest and i usually position myself in such a way that i don't have to see my face, but i want to make sure i have a decent form going when doing my exercises so people at the gym can't judge me (hehe) and of course for my lower back.

I btw always extensively stretch before and after my work-outs. Whenever i have to go to the gym i take at least 10-20 minutes to stretch at home, walk to the gym, and when i am done at the gym i walk home and i stretch there for 20-30 minutes. On Thursday i didn't stretch after i came home from the gym and i definitely felt it yesterday especially in my right leg. It was very sore in a bad way, and my foot kept cramping up. Not good!

I will probably redo this routine on Monday, but i might replace the band kickbacks with something else. Overall im pretty happy with how it went, but i wish i had someone to work out with so it is easier to correct my form :(

Ab/core/stretch day

After yesterday's disaster (i felt so demotivated i went to the store and bought a bag of cheetos and ate the whole thing which is something i haven't done in a while) we are back today with ab day, which we will be doing at home. I know most people don't have a specific day for ab day, but since i don't really work out any of my other body parts, except for legs, i like to do my core in between days. Usually i throw some arm exercises in there as well and i stretch a lot. Today's ab day looked like this:

• 3x15 reversed crunch
• 3x20 bicycle crunches (10 reps per side)
• 3x20 weighted oblique twist (10 reps per side) (5kg)
• 3x10 hollow body crunch
• 3x10 pull-up bar leg lifts
• 10 minute ab work-out (leanbeefpatty)
• 30 minute stretch routine

New routine, perhaps?

Okay so, i think i finally came up with a program that i want to follow. It is not a perfect program, i am aware of that. It probably lacks a lot of whateverthefuck but i am a beginner, i have to keep in mind that whatever i do at the start it wont be perfect. Why is everyone so obsessed with being perfect nowadays anyways? It also happens when you play video games, especially games like Dark Souls; a game where you have a lot of trial and error. If you aren't immediately PERFECT at playing that game people are like "bruh you are doing it wrong" "you aren't playing it right omg". WELL YEAH DOH??? THIS IS MY FIRST TIME PLAYING IT I AM SO SORRY THAT I DO NOT KNOW THE EXTENSIVE MECHANICS BEHIND THIS GAME JFC. And i realized this exact same sentiment in bodybuilding/fitness/what have you.

So yeah anyways, i want to start doing this at the gym:

• Bulgarian split squats 3x10-12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20
• Barbell squat 4x15-20
• Romanians 3x10-12
• Cable kick backs 3x10-12
• Leg lifts 3x10-12
• Leg extension 4x15

Is it a perfect program? Probably not, but i will probably see a lot of growth in the first month that i will be doing this. I am thinking about just waddling in on Wednesday, i might go a bit earlier than usual so the insta thot isn't hogging all the machinery i want to use, and just show a trainer there what i want to do and ask them to show me how the machines work and what i need for each exercise. I think that is just the best thing to do right now. Once they have shown me how everything works, i will start working out. I will just do the same weights with everything in the first week so i get used to the exercises and doing them at the gym, and then maybe in the second week (depending on how well certain exercises go) i will split my work-outs up so i can go higher in weights and lower in reps to push myself to the max. I think this is my best bet right now.

Then in the second week (when splitting up the work-outs):

Day A

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Bulgarian split squats 3x10-12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20
• Cable kick backs 3x10-12
• Leg extension 4x15
• Stretch

Day B

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Barbell squat 4x15-20
• Romanian deadlift 3x10-12
• Leg lifts 3x10-12
• Leg extension 4x15
• Stretch

I think that will be pretty good, and for the exercises that go well i can start increasing weight, like i am doing with the leg press currently. Gonna implement this on Wednesday and i am not gonna chicken out.

Bodybuilding - just squat bruh - forum rant

In my journey to find out more about the leg press i have been reading a lot of different posts and threads on the Bodybuilding forum and jeez those guys are annoying. People ask questions about the difference between certain leg presses and all they can muster up to respond is "herpderp just do squats bro". That wasn't their question, was it? Most of them also said that there is barely any difference between the different leg presses, which to me also seems like bullshit. That is why i keep saying DO. YOUR. OWN. RESEARCH. I found one thread from 2013 where people seemed to theorize more between the different leg presses, but you still find the occasional "just squat bruh" comments, and overall it seems that no one really knows the difference.

Will Tennyson (whose legs grew insanely big in the last year) (i also mentioned him being an inspiration for me in one of my first posts) said in one of his recent videos, where he showed his insane leg gains, that doing squats weren't growing his legs adequately. I am therefore not saying that squats aren't helping your legs grow at all, i am just saying that they probably wont put a huge bulk on your legs.

"I used to squat heavy all the time and i got nowhere, but the second i started implementing hack squats and leg press, my legs blew up." -Will Tennyson

I think that overall, learning how to squat is important cause it helps with your core stability and you learn the movement properly. I just don't understand that when someone says they don't want to implement squats currently, that it is such a big deal? I understand that they are important, but what are some different ways to grow your legs?

Most guys (especially the ones who are active on forums, circle jerking on how big and strong they are) only know what works for them specifically. I have seen a few knowledgeable posters who seem to really care about bodybuilding as a sport, and seem to hold a lot of knowledge too. Unfortunately, this is the minority. Not only that, but a lot of posters are so quick to judge too.

Before i started this blog i made a post on the forum asking about my work-out schedule that my trainer had made (before properly doing my own research) (which was dumb i know) and the only advice i got was, and you guessed it, SQUAAAATS. Even though i specifically stated in my post that i do not want to do squats (yet). Instead of working with the information they have, and even if they know better, they do not try to work with you. I would ultimately like to add hack squats to my program (i just don't know if my gym has that device lol). I am sure that only doing squats isn't going to grow my legs, so what other exercises could i do? No one mentioned any, just squats.

I am all for proper advice, but these assholes can be so judgmental with their holier-than-thou attitude like they hold the holy grail to fitness. Most of these guys like to have big arms and shoulders, so why did i even expect any proper leg advice from them? It is super funny to me cause why does the "don't skip leg day" meme exist again? Oh yeah, because most men SKIP LEG DAY. I see that at my gym too, almost all men who are there have very toned upper bodies while their lower bodies are just untoned sticks and it is very unattractive. These are the same men who do SQUATS, so if SQUATS was really the answer to growing your legs then explain to me why all these men have 0 definition in their legs? 

It seems that the collective brain mass of the entire Bodybuilding forum is akin to that of a worm, maybe they would benefit from doing some brain sports like chess? I don't think brain gymnastics is working out really well for them.

I am just going to wait a month, make a new account, and ask my original question but add squats in my program to see what the meatheads have to add. If only the squats were missing from my program, then they could've literally just said that? It is so funny how they get so incredibly upset when they don't see squats in your program. It almost makes me not want to do them to see how far i can get in growing my legs, but as i said, i do want to do them cause i do think they are an overall good work-out since they also target your core. 

I have been watching some other youtube videos from guys with big legs who also say that squats are overrated and that you don't have to do them. Like for example in this video from a small Asian man with huge legs called Eugene Teo:

He seems to agree with what i said:

"I think most people should work on getting proficiency in the barbell squat at some point. It's absolutely not an essential movement. Progressively overloading your body over time and being consistent is important so do whatever allows you to do that and you'll get fantastic results." - Eugene Teo

I also ended up finding a leg day thread on the forum where people post their leg days. The OP asked "What are you guys doing on your leg days? Ofc squats but what else? post your leg routine here pls!" and everyone answered normally (except for one guy who said squats squats squats). This thread seemed  very helpful, even though most of these guys seemed like long-time gym goers. It at least gave me a sense of what i should kind of work towards. Oh and as expected, every single one of them does other things besides squats. I do not understand why the guys in my thread couldn't give a rough overview of what a good leg day looks like for a beginner instead of berating me for not incorporating squats in my program. Most normal people don't even dare to go into weight/resistance training territory because of judgmental and non-helpful people like most of the guys in my thread. If you are spoken to like this, who the fuck would want to? Staying on a treadmill is way safer, and at least you can't do that wrong!

Today sucked

The gym today was horrible. I decided to go a little bit later cause Google said that no one was there, which was a lie. Usually Google is pretty accurate with estimating how many people are somewhere (it usually works for all the stores i go to) but apparently for the gym it isn't that accurate. There were as many people as usual, and the funny thing is that i saw some people that i usually see at the normal times i go: i usually go at 11-12, today i went at 2. 

I was warming up on the elliptical and before you know it, a bunch of middle schoolers came in and started to hog the entire weight training area. Everyone who was working out there moved to other sections cause the kids were so loud. It was like a group of 8 scrawny 15-16 year old kids. They made me so fucking anxious with their bouncing around the entire gym. I normally wouldn't care if it was a bigger gym, but it is a pretty small gym, so if they hog an entire area with a group of 8, that will hurt the rest of the people there. I am dreading summer vacation already.

I wasn't able to do my last two exercises, i only managed to do:

• 10 minute elliptical
• 10 minute stair stepper
• abductor 3x15 (25kg > 25kg > 30kg)
• leg press 3x15 (30kg>40kg>50kg)
• adductor 3x15 (25kg)
• romanian dumbbell deadlift 3x12 (8kg>10kg>10kg)
• cable kickback 3x15 (15kg)
• resistant band kickback 3x12 (at home)
• resistance band routine (at home)

I couldn't do the abductor and adductor after each other cause an old man was hogging the adductor machine; he was writing a message on his phone with 1 key stroke per 5 seconds... I also realized that if i do abductor first, i can't go as hard on the adductor and vice versa, so i might just alternate between them in days. The leg press went pretty good. 30kg is definitely too easy for me now. I then went to 40kg which was a bit more difficult, and then i went to 50kg which was a little bit more difficult today for me. I did 6 reps and i couldn't anymore. So i got up, rested, sat down again, and did 6 reps with 50 again. I did this 4 times. My legs were DEAD afterwards. So this is something i will probably keep doing. I got the idea from Will Tennyson cause that is how he did one of his exercises. It really burns when you do that.

I didn't get to do my romanian dumbbell deadlifts because by the time i was done with my other exercises, the kids had moved from the barbell area to the dumbbell area, and i couldn't do my cable kickbacks cause there's this girl who is always in the gym (i swear she's there ALL THE TIME) and she was using it. And i wasn't in the mood to wait, and i was scared that she thought i was copying her or whatever. I don't know. All dumb stuff. All in all, i felt anxious, i wasn't having fun, so i went home. At home i did some cable kickbacks with the resistant band, and i did a resistant band routine to make sure to tire out my glutes.

At least my legs feel exhausted cause of the leg press, but i definitely feel like i could've done more today and i am disappointed. I tried to do some romanian dumbbell deadlifts at home, but my lower back started hurting for some reason so i just gave up. I hate days like this. At least i get to work-out at home the next few days. I remember, some time ago, i followed this routine from a smaller fitness youtuber who mainly works with calisthenics and his routine was INSANE. I might look it up again and do that on Saturday. I am also gonna look into a barbell with weights for at home. I wish i had enough space and money to make my own gym at home, so i can work out in peace. The only reason i wanted to go to the gym is so i can train myself to lift higher weights, and so far i haven't done that at all except for the leg press. It makes me so fucking annoyed.

There used to be this really big gym in my old town where i grew up. That gym was so nice. The way certain areas were sectioned off and most sections were huge too. That way if you were working out in the arm area, you couldn't really see anyone in other areas which helped with reducing gym anxiety. The gym i go to now is just one area and you can see everyone and everything (i know that most gyms are like this nowadays) but i just miss that old gym. 

I also found another gym in my area but it seems more like a personal trainer gym. I am not even sure if it is the type of gym where you can just waddle in and work-out whenever you want. There's also no prices on their website (you need to inquire) so i am gonna assume they are expensive as fuck lol. 

I am also 100% sure my gym doesn't have a hack squat machine which annoys me. There is another gym that is kind of far away from me (probably 8 minutes by car, but i dont have a car) and it seems like a big gym, and i am sure that they have a hack squat machine, but that gym is just too far away. I am just annoyed cause as i said, i have NO IDEA what i am doing. Having a gym buddy would help. And the people who have been going to my gym do not seem like they want gym buddies at all. I don't know anymore. A part of me really wants to give up, but at the same time i know that if i persevere, things will fall into place on their own. I just have to go through the awkward shit phase first, which sucks.  

What i also find dumb is that there are always at least 2 people behind the desk at my gym. They aren't doing anything. It would be helpful if they walked around the gym and helped out beginners with their exercises, but no, if you want that type of help you have to pay for it, because then they basically become "personal trainers". How stupid is that? Having someone help you out with exercising should be part of going to the gym, at least for beginners. I don't understand why it is something that needs to be paid for. You are already there as a worker, you get paid, you aren't doing anything, so why not just offer help to beginners? Absolutely stupid. It makes me want to start a gym myself that is more beginner friendly. Maybe even have an upstairs and downstairs with the exact same machines but let downstairs be for beginners and casual fitness people where workers can help people out with proper posture etc., and then upstairs be for intermediate and hardcore people who require no help and just want to exercise in peace. 

Now i want to rant about capitalism and how everything in life is set up to maximize profits instead of maximizing people's comfort and happiness, but i digress.

Thinking out loud: Two different leg days

Ever since i have seen that Will Tennyson video about his legs, and him having two different leg days, it makes me wonder if i should also have two different leg days. I know that i am still a beginner and i should first get the basics right, but i still feel like i should look at that so i can implement it in the future. I might have to research which muscles i want to target, and which exercises target the same muscles. Maybe even do a more glute heavy day vs an actual proper leg day, i don't know. I will have to figure it out. I think this month (April) i will mainly just figure out all the exercises that i do want to implement and do and be comfortable with. And then in May i could start playing around with having two different leg days. My leg days at home will always be different from my other days regardless. And what kind of sucks is that next week i have mon/wed/fri as my gym days, but the gym is closed on Monday due to Easter. This is exactly why i want to start gaining more muscle at the gym, so i can figure out what dumbbells i can buy for home. I also want to start looking into a barbell with some weights, as i think practicing squats at home will help with being more comfortable doing them in the gym (like i did with the romanian dumbbell deadlift).

I am nervous tho about going to the gym tomorrow because i am going to do something new (the cable kickbacks) and also i need to figure out if they have the hack squat machine. I will probably not implement it this month yet, but it is something i am very interested in implementing so i want to know if they have it or not. 

All in all, i have many plans! It just sucks that i have to figure everything out myself, instead of... you know... my trainer doing that for me. There is another gym next door to the gym i am currently going to and it seems more serious (i have seen more gym bros going there) and i wonder if the trainer there would've put me on a better program. Unfortunately, i didn't like the atmosphere at that gym (too much testosterone) so now i am stuck with this gym till at least next year, since i paid for a one year membership.

I think i will have to wait it out and see how much i will be progressing the coming months, and i might just work-out at the other gym for like a day, since they have a one day free type of thing there. And then see if i would rather go there. I feel that, especially regarding strength training, i will be making better friends there than the gym i am currently going to. And i feel that they would be better at giving advice also.

The gym that i currently go to doesn't even have a lot of buff people. Most people look mediocre. My best friend, who i started working out with at home in December, looks more buff than 99% of the people who i have seen at my gym so far, which is absolutely weird. He started out as a pretty skinny guy and has only been doing things on his pull up bar and things with his 10kg dumbbell, while these guys have access to way higher weights, and yet he looks more buff. Very weird! 

My trainer gave me a horrible program!

 Wanted to make a quick overview of what i want to do tomorrow at the gym! So here goes:

• 10 minute elliptical
• 10 minute stair stepper
• adductor 3x15 (20kg>25kg>25kg)
• abductor 3x15 (20kg)
• leg press 3x15 (30kg>40kg>50kg)
• romanian dumbbell deadlift 3x12 (8kg>10kg>10kg)
• cable kickback 3x15 (15kg)

Also, the leg press i am using is horizontally sitting up instead of laying down (the latter being the one i most commonly see when i google leg press). I don't really know what the difference is between the one i use and the one everyone else is using so i am going to inform you and myself about this now by researching it.

I found this article that shows the differences between three different leg presses: 

• Angled (or 45-degree) leg press machines have your back angled at around 40-45 degrees.
• Seated leg press machines have your back (mostly) vertically straight.
• Vertical leg press machines have you flat on your back horizontally

The one at my gym is the seated leg press, although we also have the angled one. The one my "trainer" from the first day showed me is the seated one, so that is the one i am using currently. According to the article the seated one is better for "beginners", which i guess is me, but apparently it is also good for single leg presses. Although, i do not understand why the angled leg press machine would be less beneficial for single leg presses? I would have to do more reading on that.

All in all, i guess i will keep using the seated leg press until i can reach a high weight and then move on to the angled one to really buff up my legs.

Another thing that i have been looking into (for days now, honestly) is adductor vs abductors. From what i have seen is that most gyms have one machine and you have to turn the cushions around to do one or the other; my gym has one machine for either, but whenever i want to look up "adductor" i get the "abductor" machine which is annoying. I know that most women who want to grow their glutes do the abductor machine while bending over as far as they can, but what about when you do the adductor?

The best video so far that i have found is this one from Colossus Fitness:

Except that it is poorly filmed (they don't properly show the guys legs when he is doing the work-outs) and he doesn't explain whether you can also move forward that much when doing adductors (he only shows that for the abductors). It is so confusing!!!

I found a YT short from a woman who explains how to incorporate your glute muscles more when using the abductor machine by driving your heels more to the bottom and then driving the heels back down when opening your legs:

but no such thing for the adductor, yet again :(

I found another short from a lady where she slightly bends forward when doing the adductor:

and in the comments she says that she bends forward for "more tension on the muscle".

Yeah, none of this helped LOL. So i looked for an article because we like reading! And i found this article Hip Abduction vs Adduction Machine: Understanding The Critical Differences where it is stated:

Hip adduction targets the adductor magnus, adductor longus and adductor brevis. Hip abduction will activate the gluteal muscles and the tensor fasciae latae.

and also:

For muscle building, abduction machines are not particularly useful so, contrary to popular belief, using it is not going to result in shapely inner thighs. However, if you have a lack of hip strength that’s causing either hip or knee pain, using this machine could help to build stronger hips thereby providing better support to the surrounding joints.

Which is interesting cause i told my trainer that i have knee pain and that i want to train my legs to become "big and strong like Chun-Li from street fighter" and he puts me on machines that don't even build muscle? See ladies and gentlemen this is why it is important to do your own research!

The conclusion of the article is:

Working the hip adductors and abductors isn’t so much about gaining muscle mass and shaping the legs but more to do with maintaining healthy hip and pelvis joints. These small muscles can sometimes be overlooked and strengthening them takes some time. But don’t neglect them, as not only can they help reduce common aches and pains, but they can also aid with improved athletic performance and provide better support to larger muscles such as the glutes.

I guess i will keep doing these exercises for now and i will do them before my proper exercises. I will slightly bend forward when doing both and keeping the advice in mind from the short haired lady to dig my heels down when doing the abductor work-out to feel it more in my glutes, and then once it goes better i can at least bend all the way forward when doing that one. I still don't understand the adductors entirely, but from the article it seems that they target the glutes less, so i don't have to bend forward as far. This was very helpful!

I still feel kind of lied to by my trainer. It seems that the entire work-out program he has made for me was just to "warm me up" to actual resistance training, while i have read and heard from multiple sources that the beginning of your fitness journey is important because that is when you will make the most of your gains. So my trainer put me on "useless" exercises that don't even grow my muscles, but instead prepare me for building muscle in the future. How dumb! I am so glad that i looked it up now. I believe he said we should look at my program (and the weights i use) 6 weeks from now, which is also ridiculous cause again "newbie gains". Why would i be leg pressing 30kg for 6 weeks on end? 

I have been looking into progressive overload and stuff and if i understood it correctly it basically just means you add weight/reps over the course of your fitness journey, and while researching that i, again, found out that the beginning of your journey is the most important cause that is when you will go up in weight the most (and you will make the most gains as previously stated). I am honestly kind of annoyed with my trainer now and feel like he didn't listen to me (even though i know he did, since i actively asked him if he knew the game Street Fighter). 

I just feel like people like to underestimate me because i am small and tend to look helpless and clumsy, which is why i feel he put me on such a useless program. And i feel uncomfortable now that i have been working so hard in the gym for no reason at all. No wonder that i didn't feel any leg pain at the end of my training but i did feel it when i trained at home! As i mentioned, it literally felt like i had not worked out my legs for an entire week after i went to the gym and then did my work-outs at home again. Gosh, i feel so silly :(