"Rest" day

I didn't work-out today. I only recorded and edited. I got up semi-earlyish and have been busy the entire day. My roommate came back from work earlier today and we went grocery shopping as well which took away some of my time. I'm really tired and might go to bed earlier tonight so i can get up at a decent time tomorrow and finish my work. Regardless of what happens, i want to sneak in a 30-45 minute core exercise routine tomorrow. Friday gym again and i am kind of looking forward to it. Not the PT but just going to the gym. I feel like i am getting some of my motivation back again which feels nice. I think it helps to just focus on working out and going to the gym now. I don't focus so much on food. When i eat i do try to eat high protein foods. When i crave chocolate i will eat a chocolate protein bar etc. but i am definitely not hitting my protein target (yet). I try not to stress over it cause i am already happy that i am back in the gym. Next week i want to clean up my kitchen and defreeze my freezer, so i will make a list of all the foods i have so i can plan out my meals properly. I also have to order some new protein powder tomorrow!!!

PT: Day 11 (upper body day) (but i am too early)

Ah, today is dumb. I didn't get to record yesterday so i wanted to do it today. And in my mind i would have more than enough time today cause i thought i had to be at the gym at 1PM, but that is on Friday... on Tuesdays we meet at 02.30PM. Welp. So i was at the gym at 1PM and I did my cardio and then i checked the actual time on my phone on my calendar and i was like "whoops". So i finished my cardio, went home and walked the dog. I was even annoyed with myself this morning that i got up too late. I woke up at 10PM and fell back asleep around 11PM till 11.45PM so i didn't have much time to get ready. And didn't have time to stretch. But now that i was home early i could stretch. 

My PT called me at 2.20PM asking where i was cause he said that people at the gym saw me and that i left. Well... that was weird. I didn't pick up the phone but i read his message and said i was on my way. I told him i only wanted to do the LAT pulldown and no other machines. Or at least the machines we did last time cause i didn't like them. We did some other exercises and that was nice. I feel it was more in my back now as well, especially the rows were nice. So it was a successful day i guess. I just felt like a little child between all the big guys. At one point i looked in the mirror while i was doing an exercise and my arms are so small lol. At the end i also stayed and did adductors to stretch them. I didnt go too high.

• 10 minutes elliptical (5 - 6 minutes) (6 - 1 minute) (7 - 1 minute) (8 - 2 minutes) (7>6 - 1 minute)
• 10 minutes treadmill (5/5 - 5 minutes) (6/6 - 5 minutes)
• 3x12 rows ??kg
• 3x12 lat pulldown ??kg
• 3x10 lie down dumbbell something 4kg
• 3x10 sit up dumbbell something 4kg
• 3x10 tricep pulldown idk 7.5kg
• 4x15 adductors (20 > 22.5 > 25 > 22.5kg)

Sad weather // Leg day at home

Today i wanted to do two things: squats and recording. Halloween is coming up so i want to make sure i have a Halloween video ready to go out on that day. And i wanted to do a leg day at home. Since tomorrow i have to work out with my PT again and we will do upper body day. Not very excited about that since i would like to just do my own upper body day at home lol. I haven't done a leg day at home for some time so i am quite nervous but i will build up with weights slowly but surely. I also think i will do squats last, because when something effs up it's always with the squats lol. So i will do them last. Probably with the bar first and then building up weight? I don't know yet. We will see. A very good stretch first tho!

Tomorrow i also want to be at the gym before my PT, so i can do cardio properly. I was thinking the elliptical for 20 minutes. And then the treadmill for 10... The thing is just that when you take cardio away from our routine, there is usually a lot of time left over at the end of our session. Although, with upper body it might be different now cause we have to figure out some things to do with weights, instead of the stupid machines that will break my muscles lol.

• Bulgarian split squats 3x12 (7.5kg) 
• Hip thrusts 4x12 (10kg) 
• Romanian deadlifts 1x15 (4kg) 4x15 (6kg) 
• Squats 1x15 (bar) 4x15 (2kg)

Vacation Day: Day 6 & 7

So this was my vacation weekend. On Friday my roommate and i brought his car to the repair guy and on Saturday we had to pick it up. I slept in like a bear in hibernation. When i woke up i got ready, grabbed the dog, and we walked to the repair guy to pick up his car. When we came back we cleaned. I cleaned up the bathroom and my roommate did some stuff in the living room. In the evening we watched the new Quiet Place movie and it was really underwhelming. At least the cat was cute! On Sunday we both slept in and basically did nothing. I bought us some ice cream in the evening and we played a new couch coop game and that was it. A nice ending to my vacation week i guess. 

I am really sad for some reason that this week is over haha. It was so nice and calm this week. Made some good edits. Workouts went well. My anxiety didn't feel too bad... ugh.

Vacation: Day 5 (legs, gym)

Today i felt better. I went to bed at a proper time and woke up at around 1PM today. Pretty good. I didn't feel like going to the gym though and i started stressing a little bit cause i was like "oh no i will be too late" but i ended up going at 3, so it wasn't that bad.

When i got in both elliptical machines were taken so i did treadmill and elliptical after. I then went to the leg press and felt weaker today. I didn't have this problem with the other machines though. The abductor actually went so well that i think i can do 40kg next week. On the leg curl i also set the chair on 3 instead of 2 and i think i felt it more in my legs but i am not sure, it was like i had better range of motion? But i am not sure how to properly set that machine so i will have to look it up to make sure i do it right. I also did the adductor machine with a low weight to mainly stretch my adductor cause it feels so stiff! It felt nice to stretch it like that. I used very controlled movement to make sure it would stretch properly. I looked up some stretches today that i will have to do daily for my adductors and if it doesn't get better i will probably go to a physical therapist.

• Treadmill 5/5 (5 minutes) 6/6 (5 minutes)
• Elliptical 5 (1min) 6 (7min) 7 (30secs) 8 1.30min)
• Leg press 1x15 (30kg), 1x15 (50kg), 3x12 (60kg), 1x10 (70kg)
• Adductor (stretch) 1x12 (27.5kg), 2x12 (22.5kg)
• Abductor 4x12 (35kg)
• Leg curl 3x10 (27.5kg), 1x10 (25kg)
• Leg extension 1x10 (30kg), 3x8 (30kg), 4x4 3x3 (35kg)

After the gym i walked with my dog, and then i stretched, and then i also went into town with my roommate, so i was pretty active today. Short but productive day i guess! I also edited last night and i made some pretty good and cool edits that i am really happy with. I hope to finish my video this weekend cause i need to record and edit a Halloween video as well!!!

Vacation: Day 4 (rest)

Today i was supposed to do upper body day, but i didn't get any sleep last night. I went to bed and just couldn't sleep. At some point my roommate woke up to go to work and i still couldn't sleep. I got up at some point and my head felt so hazy, so i gamed a bit and then became really tired around 11-12 so i went to bed and slept till like 3. I didn't feel like doing anything today, so today is rest day!

And uhh i just wanted to say that i am really happy how things are going so far, although i am dreading going to the gym again on Friday. Usually once i am there i am fine, it is just before i go. What i did realize is that i feel better when going alone, cause i can go whenever i want. If i want to sleep in a bit in the morning i can do that. If i want to go at 2 but i still have to stretch? I can take my time and stretch. Now i constantly have to hurry and be done at a certain time and i hate it (when i have appointments with my PT that is). Having this "vacation" feels so nice. I also started cleaning my apartment, something i also feel like i can't do often cause i have my weekly meetings at my house so i feel like everything always has to be cleaned up. Now i have a 2 week break from those appointments so i can do whatever i want!!! My house looks like a mess right now AND THAT'S GOOD! It's a mess for a reason! I am cleaning everything up. Let it be a mess for a while. It feels nice and freeing.

I do think this "vacation" was really needed for me. I realize now that i just don't do well with others, especially when it is time constrained? Like if i had a gym buddy and i would tell them "i'll be there at 2" and i arrive at 02.15 they wont care. They can just work out on their own, they don't need me. But when you are tied to someone who was hired to "train" you (even though he isn't doing that at all), then you have an obligation and responsibility and i just don't vibe with that apparently. 

Also when it comes to training i am kind of annoyed that my PT doesn't help me more. When i went to the gym for my first try out lesson last year i got a "try out training" from a dude there and he was very helpful. He asked sometimes if he could touch me to let me know what muscle i should be feeling and that was super useful. I thought my PT would do something alike but he doesn't. Very often i do a workout and i feel like i am doing it wrong but he never corrects my posture (this mainly has to do with upper body workouts) which is really frustrating. When i did lat pull downs for the first time with that gym dude i did it wrong a few times and he corrected me until i got it right. To test the PT i did the pull downs wrong for a few reps and he never corrected me. I then even asked "am i doing it right?" and he was like "yeah, yeah you are doing great!". It's so tiring :(

Vacation: Day 3 (core)

Today i want to kind of chill. My body doesn't hurt that much (if at all) luckily; no DOMs. I really think that doing a proper warm-up and cooldown stretch really helps with DOMs. Usually with my PT we go on the treadmill, but i think the elliptical is a way better warmup (for me at least). Oh well... today i want to clean my apartment, edit, and i will probably do some core exercises as to not be completely dormant. I am btw also realizing that my thighs have gotten bigger which is nice. Maybe i need to start measuring them to keep track.

I was also thinking cause i want to be able to do a pull-up. I've been talking about this for a while. I even made it known to my PT. There is a machine in the gym that can help you with pull-ups and we have never gone on it. I even pointed it out on our first day. I also clearly said that "i have never done a pull-up and i would like to do one". He said that i should just practice with elastics. Welp. So i think i should start incorporating daily exercises to get myself to do the pull-up. Like just hanging on my pull-up bar daily will already help i feel.

• Bicycle crunches 3x20 
• Reverse crunch 3x20
• Lying leg floor raise 3x20
• Russian twist (7.5kg) 4x10
• Hanging knee raises 4x8

I also haven't felt as hungry the last few days. I think that is a good thing though cause i really need to lose weight. Some of my pants that were too big on me are getting kind of snug, which obviously indicates that i have gotten fatter lol. I usually indicate my "fatness" based on if i bend to the side if there is a big fat roll or not. When i was at my fittest it was just a skin crinkle, now i have a proper fat roll. I know if i would do cardio at least 3-5 times a week i could easily lose this extra weight in less than a month, but that involves me having to go to the gym LOL. Whenever i do eat i try to eat something with protein, like when i crave something sweet i will have a protein bar, and when i crave something salty i will whip up some soy bites or something. I try to at least get 60g of protein a day, which isn't a lot, but it is better than nothing. I will tell my roommate today to order me some new protein powder and some protein chips so i at least have those. I will have to also experiment with making hot chocolate with protein powder cause i feel like that would be nice as the days are getting colder.

Vacation: Day 2 (leg day gym)

I barely got out of bed this morning, so i ended up getting out of bed at like 1PM lol. Got ready for the gym etc. I didn't feel hungry so i didn't eat anything which was a misstep probably but eh. I went to the gym around 3. I believe i was there at 3.15PM. It was pretty crowded. Only zoomers though. I think it might be fall vacation. I wanted to go later anyways cause there is this creepy guy at the gym that is always there every Tuesday and he stares at me and i hate it. He looks like he has autism or something. I prefer a more crowded zoomer gym over an empty gym with him staring at me tbh. They were also doing some construction in the gym and at one point the power went out, but luckily i was on a machine that didn't need power so it was all good.

At some point though i went to the leg curl, which is next to the lat pulldown machine, and there was a girl on it who kept getting up after she did her reps and at one point she just stood in front of me and the guy next to me. Idk if she was watching us or whatever. It was so awkward. I never made eye contact but i thought to myself like "giiirl, do you not realize how awkward this is right now you weirdo?". Guess those people do not know what personal space is LOL

I did the elliptical again and i was sweating so hard again, which was good. I then went on the leg press and did 70kg again. Then i went on to the adductors and i was struggling, mainly cause the adductor muscle didn't seem properly stretched so i need to stretch that, and also cause the tiny weight was on and i didn't realize until my last set. I wanted to go on to the leg curl but there was a broccoli hair on it so i waited 2 minutes and then just did abductors until he was done. I didn't use a high weight. I then went on to the leg extension and when i went home i walked my dog, did some stretching, and did some body weight squats.

• 10 minutes elliptical (1 minute: level 5, 9 minutes: level 6, 1 minute: level 7)
• leg press 1x15 (30kg), 1x15 (50kg), 2x12 (60kg), 1x10 (70kg)
• adductors 1x15 (27.5kg), 2x12 (32.5kg), 1x10 (27.5kg)
• abductors 1x12 (25kg), 2x12 (30kg), 1x15 (30kg)
• leg curl 1x12 (25kg), 1x10 (27.5kg), 1x8 (27.5kg), 1x8 (25kg)
• leg extension 3x10 (30kg), 26x1 (35kg) [x3 x5 x4 x4 x4 x4 x2 x3]
• 20 body weight squats

Vacation: Day 1 (upper body home)

Today is my first day of my "vacation". I intended to go to the gym today, Wednesday, and Friday. I think that wont happen though, cause i am not feeling it today. However, i think i will make it an upper body day at home. The muscle in my chest feels a bit better, still a bit stiff, but with a good warm up i think i will manage. The rest of the day i just want to clean up my apartment for at least an hour, edit a bit, walk the dog... will i have time for it all lol. We will see i guess!

• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 3x6
• bent over rows 4x10 (6kg)
• bar curls 3x12 (4kg)
• dumbbell lateral raise 3x8 (2kg)
• dumbbell shoulder press 3x12 (2kg)
• sitting twists 3x12
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)

PT: Day 10 (period)

I got my period. Gym went pretty well.

• 10 minutes treadmill (5 hill, 5km/h)
• 1x15 leg press, 30kg - 1x15 leg press, 50kg - 2x12, 60kg, - 1x10 70kg
• 1x15 abductors, 30kg - 1x12, 35kg - 1x12, 37.5kg
• 1x15 leg curl, 20kg - 2x12, 22.5kg
• 1x10 leg extension, 25kg - 3x8, 30kg

Vacation next week!!!

Well... not really a vacation, but everyone i usually have appointments with wont be there. My PT cancelled cause on Tuesday he has to remove his wisdom tooth, and on Friday he has some course. It's funny cause my PT was like "whoops, not my fault". Even though he could've planned the wisdom tooth extraction on another day?? I'm pretty sure he usually is off on Wednesday or Thursday. And your dentist doesn't force you to come in at a certain day. I feel like he did it on purpose. I can't explain it (probably just my paranoia though).

The lady that i see weekly (who was here today) will have a 2 week vacation so i wont be seeing her for two weeks. She seemed out of it today. She probably already checked out and was thinking about her 2 weeks off from work lol.

I am kind of looking forward to next week. I can go to the gym whenever i want! Whatever time i want! I can warm up as long as i want and i don't have to worry about "being late". I can do a full week of lower body training. I also hope my arm heals so i can do upper body training at home. I don't know why i am looking forward to it so much, but it is so nice to think about doing my own thing and getting back into my own routine. I am almost thinking about checking out the week after from my PT as well. Just cancel. Say i am sick or something lol. And then just go to the gym on my own.

Right now i am going to walk my dog and afterwards go to the store to get a monster energy, do my workouts, and make lunch!!!