"Rest" day

I didn't work-out today. I only recorded and edited. I got up semi-earlyish and have been busy the entire day. My roommate came back from work earlier today and we went grocery shopping as well which took away some of my time. I'm really tired and might go to bed earlier tonight so i can get up at a decent time tomorrow and finish my work. Regardless of what happens, i want to sneak in a 30-45 minute core exercise routine tomorrow. Friday gym again and i am kind of looking forward to it. Not the PT but just going to the gym. I feel like i am getting some of my motivation back again which feels nice. I think it helps to just focus on working out and going to the gym now. I don't focus so much on food. When i eat i do try to eat high protein foods. When i crave chocolate i will eat a chocolate protein bar etc. but i am definitely not hitting my protein target (yet). I try not to stress over it cause i am already happy that i am back in the gym. Next week i want to clean up my kitchen and defreeze my freezer, so i will make a list of all the foods i have so i can plan out my meals properly. I also have to order some new protein powder tomorrow!!!

PT: Day 11 (upper body day) (but i am too early)

Ah, today is dumb. I didn't get to record yesterday so i wanted to do it today. And in my mind i would have more than enough time today cause i thought i had to be at the gym at 1PM, but that is on Friday... on Tuesdays we meet at 02.30PM. Welp. So i was at the gym at 1PM and I did my cardio and then i checked the actual time on my phone on my calendar and i was like "whoops". So i finished my cardio, went home and walked the dog. I was even annoyed with myself this morning that i got up too late. I woke up at 10PM and fell back asleep around 11PM till 11.45PM so i didn't have much time to get ready. And didn't have time to stretch. But now that i was home early i could stretch. 

My PT called me at 2.20PM asking where i was cause he said that people at the gym saw me and that i left. Well... that was weird. I didn't pick up the phone but i read his message and said i was on my way. I told him i only wanted to do the LAT pulldown and no other machines. Or at least the machines we did last time cause i didn't like them. We did some other exercises and that was nice. I feel it was more in my back now as well, especially the rows were nice. So it was a successful day i guess. I just felt like a little child between all the big guys. At one point i looked in the mirror while i was doing an exercise and my arms are so small lol. At the end i also stayed and did adductors to stretch them. I didnt go too high.

• 10 minutes elliptical (5 - 6 minutes) (6 - 1 minute) (7 - 1 minute) (8 - 2 minutes) (7>6 - 1 minute)
• 10 minutes treadmill (5/5 - 5 minutes) (6/6 - 5 minutes)
• 3x12 rows ??kg
• 3x12 lat pulldown ??kg
• 3x10 lie down dumbbell something 4kg
• 3x10 sit up dumbbell something 4kg
• 3x10 tricep pulldown idk 7.5kg
• 4x15 adductors (20 > 22.5 > 25 > 22.5kg)

Sad weather // Leg day at home

Today i wanted to do two things: squats and recording. Halloween is coming up so i want to make sure i have a Halloween video ready to go out on that day. And i wanted to do a leg day at home. Since tomorrow i have to work out with my PT again and we will do upper body day. Not very excited about that since i would like to just do my own upper body day at home lol. I haven't done a leg day at home for some time so i am quite nervous but i will build up with weights slowly but surely. I also think i will do squats last, because when something effs up it's always with the squats lol. So i will do them last. Probably with the bar first and then building up weight? I don't know yet. We will see. A very good stretch first tho!

Tomorrow i also want to be at the gym before my PT, so i can do cardio properly. I was thinking the elliptical for 20 minutes. And then the treadmill for 10... The thing is just that when you take cardio away from our routine, there is usually a lot of time left over at the end of our session. Although, with upper body it might be different now cause we have to figure out some things to do with weights, instead of the stupid machines that will break my muscles lol.

• Bulgarian split squats 3x12 (7.5kg) 
• Hip thrusts 4x12 (10kg) 
• Romanian deadlifts 1x15 (4kg) 4x15 (6kg) 
• Squats 1x15 (bar) 4x15 (2kg)

Vacation Day: Day 6 & 7

So this was my vacation weekend. On Friday my roommate and i brought his car to the repair guy and on Saturday we had to pick it up. I slept in like a bear in hibernation. When i woke up i got ready, grabbed the dog, and we walked to the repair guy to pick up his car. When we came back we cleaned. I cleaned up the bathroom and my roommate did some stuff in the living room. In the evening we watched the new Quiet Place movie and it was really underwhelming. At least the cat was cute! On Sunday we both slept in and basically did nothing. I bought us some ice cream in the evening and we played a new couch coop game and that was it. A nice ending to my vacation week i guess. 

I am really sad for some reason that this week is over haha. It was so nice and calm this week. Made some good edits. Workouts went well. My anxiety didn't feel too bad... ugh.

Vacation: Day 5 (legs, gym)

Today i felt better. I went to bed at a proper time and woke up at around 1PM today. Pretty good. I didn't feel like going to the gym though and i started stressing a little bit cause i was like "oh no i will be too late" but i ended up going at 3, so it wasn't that bad.

When i got in both elliptical machines were taken so i did treadmill and elliptical after. I then went to the leg press and felt weaker today. I didn't have this problem with the other machines though. The abductor actually went so well that i think i can do 40kg next week. On the leg curl i also set the chair on 3 instead of 2 and i think i felt it more in my legs but i am not sure, it was like i had better range of motion? But i am not sure how to properly set that machine so i will have to look it up to make sure i do it right. I also did the adductor machine with a low weight to mainly stretch my adductor cause it feels so stiff! It felt nice to stretch it like that. I used very controlled movement to make sure it would stretch properly. I looked up some stretches today that i will have to do daily for my adductors and if it doesn't get better i will probably go to a physical therapist.

• Treadmill 5/5 (5 minutes) 6/6 (5 minutes)
• Elliptical 5 (1min) 6 (7min) 7 (30secs) 8 1.30min)
• Leg press 1x15 (30kg), 1x15 (50kg), 3x12 (60kg), 1x10 (70kg)
• Adductor (stretch) 1x12 (27.5kg), 2x12 (22.5kg)
• Abductor 4x12 (35kg)
• Leg curl 3x10 (27.5kg), 1x10 (25kg)
• Leg extension 1x10 (30kg), 3x8 (30kg), 4x4 3x3 (35kg)

After the gym i walked with my dog, and then i stretched, and then i also went into town with my roommate, so i was pretty active today. Short but productive day i guess! I also edited last night and i made some pretty good and cool edits that i am really happy with. I hope to finish my video this weekend cause i need to record and edit a Halloween video as well!!!

Vacation: Day 4 (rest)

Today i was supposed to do upper body day, but i didn't get any sleep last night. I went to bed and just couldn't sleep. At some point my roommate woke up to go to work and i still couldn't sleep. I got up at some point and my head felt so hazy, so i gamed a bit and then became really tired around 11-12 so i went to bed and slept till like 3. I didn't feel like doing anything today, so today is rest day!

And uhh i just wanted to say that i am really happy how things are going so far, although i am dreading going to the gym again on Friday. Usually once i am there i am fine, it is just before i go. What i did realize is that i feel better when going alone, cause i can go whenever i want. If i want to sleep in a bit in the morning i can do that. If i want to go at 2 but i still have to stretch? I can take my time and stretch. Now i constantly have to hurry and be done at a certain time and i hate it (when i have appointments with my PT that is). Having this "vacation" feels so nice. I also started cleaning my apartment, something i also feel like i can't do often cause i have my weekly meetings at my house so i feel like everything always has to be cleaned up. Now i have a 2 week break from those appointments so i can do whatever i want!!! My house looks like a mess right now AND THAT'S GOOD! It's a mess for a reason! I am cleaning everything up. Let it be a mess for a while. It feels nice and freeing.

I do think this "vacation" was really needed for me. I realize now that i just don't do well with others, especially when it is time constrained? Like if i had a gym buddy and i would tell them "i'll be there at 2" and i arrive at 02.15 they wont care. They can just work out on their own, they don't need me. But when you are tied to someone who was hired to "train" you (even though he isn't doing that at all), then you have an obligation and responsibility and i just don't vibe with that apparently. 

Also when it comes to training i am kind of annoyed that my PT doesn't help me more. When i went to the gym for my first try out lesson last year i got a "try out training" from a dude there and he was very helpful. He asked sometimes if he could touch me to let me know what muscle i should be feeling and that was super useful. I thought my PT would do something alike but he doesn't. Very often i do a workout and i feel like i am doing it wrong but he never corrects my posture (this mainly has to do with upper body workouts) which is really frustrating. When i did lat pull downs for the first time with that gym dude i did it wrong a few times and he corrected me until i got it right. To test the PT i did the pull downs wrong for a few reps and he never corrected me. I then even asked "am i doing it right?" and he was like "yeah, yeah you are doing great!". It's so tiring :(

Vacation: Day 3 (core)

Today i want to kind of chill. My body doesn't hurt that much (if at all) luckily; no DOMs. I really think that doing a proper warm-up and cooldown stretch really helps with DOMs. Usually with my PT we go on the treadmill, but i think the elliptical is a way better warmup (for me at least). Oh well... today i want to clean my apartment, edit, and i will probably do some core exercises as to not be completely dormant. I am btw also realizing that my thighs have gotten bigger which is nice. Maybe i need to start measuring them to keep track.

I was also thinking cause i want to be able to do a pull-up. I've been talking about this for a while. I even made it known to my PT. There is a machine in the gym that can help you with pull-ups and we have never gone on it. I even pointed it out on our first day. I also clearly said that "i have never done a pull-up and i would like to do one". He said that i should just practice with elastics. Welp. So i think i should start incorporating daily exercises to get myself to do the pull-up. Like just hanging on my pull-up bar daily will already help i feel.

• Bicycle crunches 3x20 
• Reverse crunch 3x20
• Lying leg floor raise 3x20
• Russian twist (7.5kg) 4x10
• Hanging knee raises 4x8

I also haven't felt as hungry the last few days. I think that is a good thing though cause i really need to lose weight. Some of my pants that were too big on me are getting kind of snug, which obviously indicates that i have gotten fatter lol. I usually indicate my "fatness" based on if i bend to the side if there is a big fat roll or not. When i was at my fittest it was just a skin crinkle, now i have a proper fat roll. I know if i would do cardio at least 3-5 times a week i could easily lose this extra weight in less than a month, but that involves me having to go to the gym LOL. Whenever i do eat i try to eat something with protein, like when i crave something sweet i will have a protein bar, and when i crave something salty i will whip up some soy bites or something. I try to at least get 60g of protein a day, which isn't a lot, but it is better than nothing. I will tell my roommate today to order me some new protein powder and some protein chips so i at least have those. I will have to also experiment with making hot chocolate with protein powder cause i feel like that would be nice as the days are getting colder.

Vacation: Day 2 (leg day gym)

I barely got out of bed this morning, so i ended up getting out of bed at like 1PM lol. Got ready for the gym etc. I didn't feel hungry so i didn't eat anything which was a misstep probably but eh. I went to the gym around 3. I believe i was there at 3.15PM. It was pretty crowded. Only zoomers though. I think it might be fall vacation. I wanted to go later anyways cause there is this creepy guy at the gym that is always there every Tuesday and he stares at me and i hate it. He looks like he has autism or something. I prefer a more crowded zoomer gym over an empty gym with him staring at me tbh. They were also doing some construction in the gym and at one point the power went out, but luckily i was on a machine that didn't need power so it was all good.

At some point though i went to the leg curl, which is next to the lat pulldown machine, and there was a girl on it who kept getting up after she did her reps and at one point she just stood in front of me and the guy next to me. Idk if she was watching us or whatever. It was so awkward. I never made eye contact but i thought to myself like "giiirl, do you not realize how awkward this is right now you weirdo?". Guess those people do not know what personal space is LOL

I did the elliptical again and i was sweating so hard again, which was good. I then went on the leg press and did 70kg again. Then i went on to the adductors and i was struggling, mainly cause the adductor muscle didn't seem properly stretched so i need to stretch that, and also cause the tiny weight was on and i didn't realize until my last set. I wanted to go on to the leg curl but there was a broccoli hair on it so i waited 2 minutes and then just did abductors until he was done. I didn't use a high weight. I then went on to the leg extension and when i went home i walked my dog, did some stretching, and did some body weight squats.

• 10 minutes elliptical (1 minute: level 5, 9 minutes: level 6, 1 minute: level 7)
• leg press 1x15 (30kg), 1x15 (50kg), 2x12 (60kg), 1x10 (70kg)
• adductors 1x15 (27.5kg), 2x12 (32.5kg), 1x10 (27.5kg)
• abductors 1x12 (25kg), 2x12 (30kg), 1x15 (30kg)
• leg curl 1x12 (25kg), 1x10 (27.5kg), 1x8 (27.5kg), 1x8 (25kg)
• leg extension 3x10 (30kg), 26x1 (35kg) [x3 x5 x4 x4 x4 x4 x2 x3]
• 20 body weight squats

Vacation: Day 1 (upper body home)

Today is my first day of my "vacation". I intended to go to the gym today, Wednesday, and Friday. I think that wont happen though, cause i am not feeling it today. However, i think i will make it an upper body day at home. The muscle in my chest feels a bit better, still a bit stiff, but with a good warm up i think i will manage. The rest of the day i just want to clean up my apartment for at least an hour, edit a bit, walk the dog... will i have time for it all lol. We will see i guess!

• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 3x6
• bent over rows 4x10 (6kg)
• bar curls 3x12 (4kg)
• dumbbell lateral raise 3x8 (2kg)
• dumbbell shoulder press 3x12 (2kg)
• sitting twists 3x12
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)

PT: Day 10 (period)

I got my period. Gym went pretty well.

• 10 minutes treadmill (5 hill, 5km/h)
• 1x15 leg press, 30kg - 1x15 leg press, 50kg - 2x12, 60kg, - 1x10 70kg
• 1x15 abductors, 30kg - 1x12, 35kg - 1x12, 37.5kg
• 1x15 leg curl, 20kg - 2x12, 22.5kg
• 1x10 leg extension, 25kg - 3x8, 30kg

Vacation next week!!!

Well... not really a vacation, but everyone i usually have appointments with wont be there. My PT cancelled cause on Tuesday he has to remove his wisdom tooth, and on Friday he has some course. It's funny cause my PT was like "whoops, not my fault". Even though he could've planned the wisdom tooth extraction on another day?? I'm pretty sure he usually is off on Wednesday or Thursday. And your dentist doesn't force you to come in at a certain day. I feel like he did it on purpose. I can't explain it (probably just my paranoia though).

The lady that i see weekly (who was here today) will have a 2 week vacation so i wont be seeing her for two weeks. She seemed out of it today. She probably already checked out and was thinking about her 2 weeks off from work lol.

I am kind of looking forward to next week. I can go to the gym whenever i want! Whatever time i want! I can warm up as long as i want and i don't have to worry about "being late". I can do a full week of lower body training. I also hope my arm heals so i can do upper body training at home. I don't know why i am looking forward to it so much, but it is so nice to think about doing my own thing and getting back into my own routine. I am almost thinking about checking out the week after from my PT as well. Just cancel. Say i am sick or something lol. And then just go to the gym on my own.

Right now i am going to walk my dog and afterwards go to the store to get a monster energy, do my workouts, and make lunch!!!

Pectoralis Major

In my previous post i talked about the fact that i (probably) pulled my teres minor/major, but i now think it is actually the Pectoralis Major, which is just the pectoris muscle. It is a big muscle so obviously you don't tear the entire thing, and i've only torn the small part of it that borders your armpit. I think this is because last week when we worked out my upper body i did not have time to properly warm up my upper body. My PT let me warm up on the LAT pulldown only with a low weight and that was it. So, result: not properly warmed up. I think that caused a tear. The same problem i usually have when i don't properly warm up with my legs. I think this is because i have lived a pretty stationary life and my muscles are usually in a more "condensed" state, which means that i have to warm them up properly not to injure myself before working out.

It is too bad that my PT does not take warming up as seriously as i do. I remember asking him last week if i should do a proper warm up and, as i said, he just let me "warm up" on the LAT pulldown with a low weight (which doesn't do anything, lets be honest). 

I Googled (as i do) and i found this website: https://sportsclinicnq.com.au/pectoralis-major-strain/

It said on it:

A pectoralis major strain typically occurs when the muscle is forcibly contracted whilst in a stretched position. This can occur during weight training when performing bench press exercises. When the bar is lowered, the pectoralis major muscle is stretched across the chest. In this position, overstretching of the muscle combined with the need to generate high muscle forces to lift and lower the bar may place too much stress on the muscle. The muscle subsequently tears. Collision sports and wrestling are other activities where this can occur.

It then follows with:

The first sensation you feel when the pectoralis major muscle is torn is sudden pain felt in the chest or more commonly, at the front of the armpit. 

Yep, that's me! But the worst thing is that it continues and says to CEASE ACTIVITY cause a FULL RUPTURE can occur. Lol. So i should've not been working out yesterday. That's kind of frightening.  When i checked other websites they basically said that if you have a full tear that you need surgery, and that a partial tear will take 2 weeks to heal. 

On another website:

The muscle normally helps to ‘break’ or slow down the motion, preventing the weight from falling on the chest. If this eccentric contraction (where the muscle lengthens in a controlled fashion) is uncoordinated, either because of muscle fatigue or weakness, the weight is allowed to slip to one side resulting in a sudden contraction of the Pec Major, leading to tear or rupture.

The risk of occurrence of this injury is increased when the elbows are allowed to drop lower than the body during this maneuver.

So i think it happened cause i was just too weak and did an exercise that my body shouldn't have been doing with a weight that was beyond my capabilities. It's weird that i have never had this issue on my own. I honestly feel like the way i was working out last year was already perfect. I did my own thing, moved at my own pace... and i feel with my PT i sometimes go too fast too soon. I also don't think that doing the upper body machines were smart to do. With most of them you start with 5kg!!! And you can't go lower than that. I remember when i first started squatting that it was literally body weight, followed up by a small 3kg dumbbell and then moving up slowly. 

The same also with doing upper body exercises. For a long time i did it with very low weights that basically didn't give me any resistance or made me grow muscle mass but it did make my body adapt to the exercises, so once i went up in weight i was good to go. I would usually also warm up with my very low weight dumbbells. When you are on these machines you cannot warm up with something light, if the lightest is already 5kg. Very frustrating.

I told my PT from the start that my upper body is super weak, and i have never really worked it out. I am also a small woman who is sedentary mainly. So i guess he didn't take all those things into consideration and just let me workout like that. I don't know... it feels kind of irresponsible. Especially seeing how i have never had this issue on my own... So now i can't work out with free weights for the coming weeks or what? 

Anyways, it's obvious i would do better by doing dumbbell exercises, but i digress. I'm gonna take my dog for a late night walk now and go to bed! 🙋🏻‍♀️

PT: Day 9 (upper body) (but im injured)

Today was a whirlwind of crazy stuff happening tbh. Maybe not really, but it felt that way. Yesterday night i was reading through my blog and realized how i have kept my strength weirdly enough. 

Today i did:

• Treadmill 5 minute 5 incline 5kmh / 5 minute 5.5 incline, 5.5kmh
• LAT pulldowns 3x12
• ??????? 3x?
• ??????? 3x?
• ??????? 3x?
• Russian Twists 8kg 3x10
• Adductors 3x12 (25kg)

Work-outish at home / stressed

Today was a shitty day for a ton of reasons; i went to sleep early yesterday, fucked my sleeping schedule, got up at like 6 in the morning, had to take a nap, my legs still hurt, had to go to my grandparents, more stress, i want to pick up smoking again... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

• 5x5 bodyweight squats
• 5x5 romanian deadlifts (4kg)
• 5x5 hip thrusts (4kg)

PT: Day 8 (Smith Machine disaster)

Today was leg day again and i had like 0 energy. We were supposed to do the smith machine squats today, but it didn't go well and now i am annoyed. They are also "restructuring" the gym to create more space and maybe get more machines. I need to message them about getting a hack squat machine lol. My arms still hurt from Tuesday lol.

• 10 minutes treadmill (5 hill, 5km/h)
• 1x6 smith machine, 2.5kg 
• 3x12 abductors, 35kg
• 1x12 leg press, 60kg - 2x12, 50kg
• 3x12 leg curl, 22.5kg
• 4x8 leg extension, 25kg

PT: Day 7 (Eval day + upper body)

Today was evaluation day! I also did something nice for a kid in the store. And some huge storm/tornado is heading towards Florida!!! I hope everyone there is ok and all the animals will be able to find shelter too. My heart goes out to everyone over there♥

Today was upper body day and i did:

• LAT pulldowns 3x12
• ??????? 3x?
• ??????? 3x?
• ??????? 3x?
• Russian Twists 8kg 3x10
• Triceps something 3x10

Eval tomorrow

I am happy to see that i am taking my personal training days seriously. Even on the days when my PT cancels; i will go to the gym alone. I still struggle with going to the gym alone on other days though. I think the problem is mainly that i feel like i have so much to do still, that i'd rather stay at home and do those things. But then i stay at home to do those things and then i don't do those things either. I procrastinate everything, instead of just focusing on one thing. I think if anything it shows that having accountability for me really works eg. i will go to the gym on the days my PT and i have our appointments. The reason that i still go on the days that he cancels is that he can check at the register if i went or not (since you check in with your key fob, which is in their database). So there is no way for me to talk myself out of it "oh yeah i totally went, the key fob just malfunctioned". It's just not something i want to get into, so it is easier to just go and be honest when i have days that i really can't go. Like i told him that i would go to the gym on Monday (which is today) and i ended up not going since i am out of my ADHD medication and i don't feel comfortable going without taking it.

PT: Day 6

Happy Animal Day! Next time we will do an evaluation. 

10 minutes treadmill (5 hill, 5km/h)

3x12 leg press, 60kg

3x12 abductors, 35kg

3x12 leg curl, 25kg

4x8 leg extension, 30kg

3x12 lat pulldowns

PT: Day 5 (alone, again)

 My PT cancelled!!! ARGH. And also it was way more crowded than last time @ the gym :(

• 10 minutes steps (4 minutes level 6) (6 minutes level 5)
• 3x12 leg curl, 22.5kg
• 4x12 leg press, 60kg
• 1x12 30kg, 2x10 35kg abductors
• 1x10 25kg, 3x10 30kg leg extension