Habits

I just want to rant a little bit about forming habits and how it has helped me so far with the help of AI. I feel like it is helping me, more than a lot of other things that "specialists" have taught me. I just have to figure out how to plan out my days in terms of exercising and working. Also, i think that if i get to a point where i can get ready, walk my dog, and exercise all before 1PM, i can have very productive days. I just have to figure out how to make myself do that.

I now have a booklet where i check off if i do my morning routine every day followed by walking the dog. I have done it every day now except for yesterday (Sunday) cause it was "my day off". I didn't get ready. There was no morning routine, so i couldn't follow it by walking the dog. I just noted down "weekend". I think i am allowed a day off. Making it so people follow the exact same habits every day for the rest of their life is depressing. And i also don't think i can live like that.

I have, however, come to the habit of not gaming nor watching youtube videos anymore during the day. My days feel more quiet. I think this is going to change the minute my upstairs neighbors are home again, cause they constantly make noise, the entire day, and i never have a moment of peace or quiet and i have to drive it out with other sounds. I remember i would sometimes blast really loud metal music and that would sometimes shut them up. As if they understood that i was blasting the music because they were annoying the fuck out of me. Maybe i should keep doing that. But for now i will allow myself to enjoy the serenity of quietness.

Sticking to the "morning routine" followed by "walking dog" has been fruitful, however, my brain has come up with a new coping mechanism that i am not too happy with. That is, i will not get ready or do my "morning routine" in the morning, i will do it in the afternoon. And then i will also take a long shower, and i will just never get ready until like 3 or 4 and then i walk the dog for 15 minutes and my day is over. This obviously has to change. The other day i got up really early for an appointment and i was done with my day before 12. This was very nice. I ended up cleaning my apartment and i even had some time to edit and do other things. This was great, and this is what i want to work towards. However, i am stuck in the routine that i go to bed at 4AM and then i wake up around 11AM. I would like to go to bed at 3AM and wake up at 10AM. I used to do this before, so i don't know why i can't do it now. I just am not tired. Maybe it is the whole "changing the clock" thing? My biological clock is just stuck at 3/4AM to bed and rise at 10/11AM. I guess. But changing it by one hour can't be that difficult, right? Guess i have to make a habit out of that as well.

I want to start practicing video editing for 15 minutes and then doing something else. Like gaming or whatever. Even in my off hours, like when i hang out with my roommate or whatever. 15 minutes of editing followed by gaming or watching a video or doing whatever. I want to implement this throughout the day. I have that thing again where i get extremely tired out of nowhere the minute i start editing videos. No clue why. This extreme wave of exhaustion just hits me and i start blinking and nodding my head. It is the weirdest thing cause i basically never do this. Especially not in the middle of the day. It would make sense if it was late at night, but it never is. Apparently this is some type of anxiety thing. I think i can get away from it if i would just edit 15 minutes and then go do something else, and then edit again. And do this a few times throughout the day. It will probably help me a lot. I already kind of did something like that last week; Where i would clean a little bit and when i felt that i was losing concentration i would game for 15-30 minutes and then i would continue with my task again. This helped a lot. I learned it from AI 'cause it told me about reward systems. I first thought it wasn't going to work, because my ADHD and hyper focus but it actually works pretty well. Surprisingly, really. I guess if i just keep doing that, distracting myself with other things, rewarding myself in small intervals, i can probably get back to where i want to be. Especially my head space. I don't know. I am just thinking out loud.

I have to get up again early tomorrow. So hopefully i can make it a fruitful day. I didn't go to the gym today so i hope to go tomorrow. Just a quick work-out, that's it. Nothing special. Maybe if i feel a bit heroic i can try the leg press. I miss that thing.