Tuesday night i felt motivated. I don't remember what i did on Wednesday. Today i visited my grandparents. Tomorrow will be my second meeting with my PT. I want to do some things differently next week.
I don't know if it's because i now have my PT but on Tuesday night i felt motivated and i started editing a video i have been meaning to finish in ages. I really want to finish it asap. I don't know why i felt so motivated. I feel so stuck!!! And i know the only way i can get out if i do it myself, no one else will do it.
On Wednesday... i don't really remember what i did but i believe at one point i gamed with my roommate and his brother and i edited a little bit. Oh yeah, my roommate also called me before he left work to ask if i wanted any food. He finally listened!!!
Today i visited my grandparents. It's really weird, but every time i dream of my grandparents at night, my grandma calls me the next day LOL. It's so strange!!! It happens every time (it happened on tuesday, so i asked if i could come visit on Thursday).
Tomorrow i will have my second meeting with my PT. I want to try and go hard and take these next few weeks seriously. If not just to show and see how fast i can grow in 8~ weeks. From Monday on i want to take my calorie intake SERIOUS. And i want to take my protein intake also very serious. I want to grow big in the upcoming 2 months and i know i can do it, i just have to set my mind to it. What i want my days to look like is: my dog, work-out, protein, editing, and my band. And a little bit of gaming of course.
I am also thinking about bringing back my intermittent fasting. Every night, even when i am at my calorie max or even a bit over, i am craving food so much. Especially chocolate for some reason. I also constantly feel disappointed when i eat dinner and i can't eat more. Today i didn't eat all day until later and it was so nice that i could just feast!!! So i think i will bring that back. I also feel much better lately. I think my vitamin D levels are finally stabilizing. I feel better when i am off my ADHD meds (even though i felt like i couldn't function during the day without them). Yeah, sure, it is a bit harder to focus without them and i will probably take them whenever i have meetings with my PT, but i already feel like i am getting through my days better without them. And that is important. Especially for my sleep. I always said i want to work towards getting off my medication entirely and i think i am slowly but surely getting there, but i think that will be a focus for the new year. For now i still want to use them to make sure i stay on track. Now that i think about it... maybe that is why i am hungry all the time lol. When i take my meds i am never hungry, but when i don't take them i am constantly hungry and i never feel satisfied. This was the same when i was younger and i didn't take medication for my ADHD yet. It was so nice to not have to worry about being hungry 247 anymore.
Also, next month the clock will be set back one hour which means i will probably be able to get up at 10AM and i am super excited for that lol. I can probably more easily carry out my daily tasks and routines and i am looking forward to it. What i want right now is just to do morning routine > walk dog > stretch > workout/go to gym and then fill the rest of my day with keeping my apartment in check and editing.
Oh yeah, i also have to really, really call my psych place tomorrow to reschedule an appointment i have and get my meds refilled!
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