Catch-up

Ugh, i don't know what is happening. I feel so tired lately. I am eating protein heavy foods, taking my vitamin pills, and i'm even spending more time in the sun so i don't understand why i feel so tired.

Saturday
Saturday was the first day that i started working out with my barbell and it was ROUGH. I felt so incredibly weak, and i will have to figure out a way to properly build up strength to start squatting with a barbell etc. This is what i ended up doing:

• Front squats 1x10 - 0kg, 3x8 - 4kg
• Hip thrusts 4x12 - 20kg
• Bulgarian split squats 3x12 4 > 7.5 > 8kg
• Kneeling squat 4x12 8kg
• Four random workouts 4x10

Definitely the most annoying thing was loading and unloading the weights. 

Sunday

My entire body hurt; my shoulders and arms still hurt from the lat pulldown machine at the gym on thursday, my core hurt incredibly much from friday, and my quads and glutes hurt from Saturday. So rest day was imminent. 

Monday

That was yesterday. I was supposed to have a leg day at the gym. I woke up on time, got up, and then somehow found myself back in bed again and i slept till 3 in the afternoon. I was very annoyed with myself. I ended up doing some arm work-outs at home with the barbell since my legs still hurt and i was too tired to do anything like squats or whatever.

• bent-over barbell row 5x5 (10kg)
• barbell front raise 5x5 (0kg)
• bar curl 5x5 (0kg)
• push up shrugs 5x5
• inverted rear delt row 5x5 
• seated barbell twist 3x12 (0kg)

I did most of the work-outs with 0kg cause they were difficult to do with weight on the bar and i was also too lazy to put weight on the bar tbh. The bent-over barbell row was still difficult to do with 10kg but i did it. The other ones i just did with the bar. Next time (probably thursday or saturday) i will add 1 or 2 kg weights and build up from there.

Tuesday (today)

Since tomorrow is gonna be leg day at the gym, i will have to figure something else out for today. I already did arms/shoulders yesterday so idk what to do for today. I might just not do anything and rest. Maybe eat a calorie dense meal and hope that i wont feel too tired tomorrow to not wakeup on time to go to the gym. 

Labels

I'm trying to come up with labels to label my posts with, so this post is more for me to think out loud.

Gym day: for all days that i go to the gym
Gym leg day: leg days at the gym
Gym upper day: upper body at the gym
Home work-outs: all days when i work at home
Home leg day: leg day at home
Home upper day: when i do upper body at home
Home core day: when i do core at home
Program: when i discuss/research/think about my program
Research: looking up and researching programs
Leg program: when i discuss/look at leg programs
Glute program: when i discuss/look at glute programs
Upper program: when i discuss/look at upper programs
Core program: when i discuss/look at core programs
Diet: posts about food and diet things
Vent: more personal posts
Useful: posts i find useful to look back on 
Random: when it doesn't fit any other label

Core day

I haven't done my core in a while and my arms are dead from yesterday, and it is rest day for my legs so i will just do some core exercises. I haven't found proper core exercises yet that i enjoy doing and that i can perform properly so i am still kinda looking around. I found some new ones i want to try today that also incorporate the legs and glutes so that's a win-win for me.

• Bicycle crunches 3x20 (per leg)
• Seated alternating knee tuck 3x15 (per leg)
• High reverse plank 3x30seconds
• Dead bug 3x20
• Lying leg and hip raise 3x20
• Hanging knee raises 3x10
• Dumbbell side bend 8kg 3x15 

Edit: the above is what i ended up doing today. I had two more exercises i wanted to do - the lying side hip raise and roman chair sit-up - but i didn't do them because i didn't want to spend longer than an hour on this. I also didn't do a V-up cause i literally couldn't (i'm weak!!!)

Figuring out barbell leg routine

I am trying to figure out a routine for tomorrow where i can incorporate my barbell. It seems that some people do their squats and deadlifts on two separate days, but some people don't. It is very confusing lol. You also have back squats and front squats and i think that i would prefer to do front squats, for some reason having something on my back just irks me, and maybe it is also better since i don't have a squat rack yet. I might just do back squats on my normal gym leg days.

My ideal work-out program would be something like having 2 quad dominant days and 1-2 glute dominant days. I just don't really know how to incorporate that properly and the internet isn't very helpful either. I guess i shouldn't overthink it too much and i will learn along the way.

For tomorrow:

• Front squats 3x12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20
• Bulgarian split squats 3x12
• Kneeling squat 4x12
• Nordic curls 3x10

For Wednesday:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15
• Leg press warm-up 3x15 (30kg)
• At home:
• Reverse Barbell Hack Squat 4x12
• Romanian Deadlift 4x12
• Hip thrusts 4x15-20

It's difficult to figure out what to do for Wednesday cause i still want to hit the gym, but i don't want to do the exact same stuff as i am doing on my other gym days and i don't want to go to the gym after my main lifts that i will do at home. Most people seem to do leg extensions and stuff after they lift, but i want to do that on my machine days. I just want to be able to squat properly and deadlift properly, so i can start using the smith machine at the gym, and then i can just plan my routines around that. Until then i am stuck with this, but i think my workouts look pretty good so far.

I just have to figure out arm/shoulder days, cause i want to incorporate that two times a week too to help with my lifting. I wish i could afford the personal trainers at my gym, but maybe that is something for the future.

The gym today was awesome!

As the title reads, the gym today was good. When i woke up this morning i checked my mail and it said that i was getting my barbell stuff between 19:00 and 22:00. Which was still not really as helpful but at least that meant i had the entire day to do whatever i wanted. I did have problems getting out of bed this morning (i really didn't want to and felt really tired) so i ended up going to the gym at around 11:40PM but then when i was just about there i realized i forgot my gym key, so i went back home, and i just biked to the gym instead of walking, so i was at the gym at exactly 12:00. 

It was a little bit crowded but it was mainly bigger guys, and some friends who were working out together. The vibe was nice so i didn't feel thrown off. This is what i did today:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15 (25kg) 1x15 (30kg) 1x15 (35kg) 1x15 (40kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>50) 1x10 (60kg) 1x1 (70kg)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg>2.5kg)
• Leg extension 3x12 (15>20>20) 1x8 (25kg)
• Lat pulldowns 3x15 (20>20>25kg)
• Stretch

I think this was my most successful day at the gym yet. I did hip abductors and i kept going up in weight, but it started to bore me (lol) so i went over to the leg press. Doing 60kg was pretty difficult on the leg press and doing 70kg was near impossible, but i hope to build up the strength to do at least 2 reps at the end of next week with 70kg. 

The cable kick backs were a disaster again, i even went down in weight, and i could not feel it in my glutes again, i don't understand it. I did some band kickbacks at home as a warmup and i could feel my glutes perfectly fine. I even did some kickbacks without the weight at one point to see how i should be standing and i kept not feeling them. It's just odd, but i am obviously doing something wrong. So that is under investigation until further notice.

Leg extension went decent as well. Since my max weight wasn't determined last time i just played around with the weights, and jeez louise, leg extensions are hell to do. My legs started to sour up every time at 12 reps, and with 25kg i could only get to 8. The problem isn't even that the weight is heavy and i can't pump it, it is literally the acid you feel building up in your legs. Really nasty feeling lol.

And to top it off i did my lat pulldowns today! I first did it with 20kg which was a bit too easy, but then 25kg was a bit too difficult but i kept going with it. My last 5reps were HELL but i powered through it. Next time i'm gonna start with 25kg instead.

When i came home i drank my protein, stretched, and just chilled a bit. I had to go to the grocery store to stock up on food again, so i did that. I usually do not like to go to the store during the day cause there are always so many people (why? why cant you go later or in the morning). They also take their entire families with... it's always a disaster. Anyways, i went, cause i didn't need that much anyways. Then i got home and i relaxed and played some computer game while listening to a podcast.

Then around 18:00 the doorbell rang and there were 7(!!!!) packages for me with my weights yay! I now have my weights. The barbell itself is heavier than expected and the 20kg plates are KILL, but i am very happy with my stuff. Now i only need a squat rack and i am good to go. I have to also figure out where i am gonna store all this but i was thinking to just put the plates under my couch on a thick piece of carton so i can easily shuffle them around and grab them when needed, and i can put the barbell wherever i want, so i think i will do that.

My arms hurt like heck, and my legs only hurt a little. I am excited to work out with my new stuff this weekend!

I haven't written for a while

On top of it being my dog's first birthday without her, i also had to deal with getting my period. So i was just a whole mess and i was very, very tired. I have been trying to do some workouts at home in the meantime but i didn't really have the energy most of the time to get anything proper done (except for one day where i did a full leg/glute day). Sooo yeah, i haven't been going to the gym for a good week now.

That said, i should be going to the gym again tomorrow. Only problem is that i should also be getting my package tomorrow with my barbell and weights, and the time says "between 08:00 and 22:00" and i have to be home for the package. Yes, very helpful! 

I should be getting an update tomorrow morning when exactly they will deliver the package and if it is between 10 and 12 i am going to scream, cause then i wont be able to go to the gym again. I might go in the evening tho because from what i remember the guy said that on thursday and friday's it is pretty empty cause "everyone is out clubbing". However, i just prefer to go to the gym earlier in the day. I also have to go to the grocery store tomorrow so everything is really falling in reverse but whatever.

If i make it to the gym tomorrow i would like to:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip abductors 3x15 (15>20kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>40>50)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg)
• Leg extension 4x15 (2x15kg 2x20kg)
• Lat pulldowns 3x15 
• Stretch

For my work-out on Saturday i will have to figure out what i want to do at home, but if i have my barbell i would like to start squatting, hip thrusting, split squatting, and deadlifting. That should be fun! I also found out that i can dead hang way longer on my pull-up bar than i could before (1 month ago i could barely hang for 25 seconds without dying of pain, now i can easily hang for 1 minute and 30 seconds, even though it feels like i have no fingers afterwards). I can also pull myself up on the pullup bar a little bit. Barely tho lol. I am still very weak, but i am making progress! And that is nice to see, especially knowing that i barely work on my arms and shoulders.

Didn't go to gym

This morning i woke up and i felt absolutely EXHAUSTED, like i ran into a freight train. I said to myself that i would just go to the gym a bit later and i went back to sleep, but i still felt exhausted later on. Since i had an appointment at 1PM i couldn't go early in the afternoon either (not that i would want to), so i decided not to go.

I realized later on that today is the birthday of my pet who i lost last year (she became 16 years old). I think it somehow mentally affects me more than i would care to admit, so i am going easy on myself today. I was thinking to maybe go to the gym tonight, but i just really need to relax. I cried a few times today and allowed myself to. Losing a loved one isn't easy. I put some flowers on her grave (she's buried in my backyard), and spend some time at her grave as well. I did some other yard work to spend some time outside at least (it was nice weather; sun was shining, and it wasn't too warm either). I also plan to play a new indie horror game, that i wanted to play for some time, tonight.

Since i didn't do core yesterday, i might do core today. Tomorrow i'll do arms. I might go to the gym on Sunday if i feel like it, if anything to see how many people are around. I could do some cardio, and do like two machines, but i'll see how i feel. I also have to walk the dog this weekend, so i'll have to see how that vibes. I might just run with the dog for cardio.

Some days you just have to take it slow; whether that is for your physical or mental wellbeing. Today was one of those days for me.

More barbell research

Every day that i breathe more (lol) the willingness to buy a barbell grows. I decided to do a bit more research, and i found out that 28mm barbells are actually better for women (or just people with small hands i suppose). I have extremely small hands, and i hate it, but i have to live with it. This means that i can buy the weights from that one website that i spotted some time earlier. 

I found out that they have a kit for dumbbells that come with two small dumbbell bars and a bunch of small weights that are 20kg in total. They come in a neat case and together it's only 65 bucks. Then i want to get a barbell that is about my height (cause i don't think a big barbell is gonna do me any good), which is about 40 bucks. Then i want to get better clips to keep the weights in place, which is 6 bucks. And then i want to get some additional weights: 2x5kg, 2x10kg, which would be about 76 bucks. If i would get 2x20 then it would be 176 bucks. I don't think i want to get 20kg yet, but i'm also not sure. I think it would be good to just have it around. So everything in total should be 187 bucks; 287 if i get the 20kg. 

Now, the thing is they also sell a set, but the set has a barbell that is too big, and if you get the other set, then you don't get heavy weights. In total with the former set you get 80kg worth of weights and you also get the small dumbbells for 250 bucks. My own little barbell thing has 50kg (90 if i include the 20kg weights) and would be 181 bucks or be 281 bucks with the 20kg weights, which is about the same price.

So i don't think the set is worth it, because i would also have to get the smaller barbell if i get the heavier set, so i think i will stick with my own set that i've made. Oh yeah, i also want to get one of those foam pads. I think they are like 15 bucks. I think i will have everything then for the insane price of 300 bucks.

The only thing i would need after that is a squat rack, but that will come later. I will first have to learn how to do squats anyways with only the barbell itself and i can probably just throw the barbell on my back by putting it on some chairs or my couch or something.

I will check my bank account tonight or tomorrow to make a decision on what i will do. 

I also decided to not work-out today cause i have a lot to do for work and i have to clean up my apartment, do the laundry, and i was hoping on bleaching my hair today. I also have an appointment early tomorrow afternoon and i just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything lol. If i feel like i have left over time tonight i might do a core routine, maybe with some arms, and stretching, but we'll see. No promises.

Glute transformation posts

I was scrolling through reddit when i stumbled upon this random thread: 9 months glute transformation. I read the entire thing, looked at the pictures, the comments... OP responded to a lot of people which was helpful too, but what i could gather from what she wrote is that we basically did the same amount of research in the same places haha. She is also the same height and weight as me which is helpful too. Her leg gains are insane. I also rarely feel exercises in my butt anymore (unless i work-out at home) so it was good to see that she made it work for her somehow. 

Also, this is her current routine: glutes/legs/glutes/upper body/glutes/full body. I don't know what she does differently on leg day vs glute day, since most leg exercises target the glutes too, but it is nice to see her routine to have a certain sense of what to work towards.

What i also found funny is that she said she only tracks her protein, because i do the exact same LOL. I do also track my calories, because that is an old habit instilled in me, but besides that i only track protein. I don't care about other stats.

I found another thread with a girl who has the same stats as me. She also has weights for at home, cause as she said, she sometimes doesn't have enough time for the gym, or she feels shy/what have you. It's nice to know that i am not the only one who feels this way, and this only makes me more confident in getting a barbell for at home. She said that she mainly "deadlifts, barbell bridges, dumbbell kneeling squats, barbell military press" at home, since she doesn't have a rack. She said her current routine is "glute focused workouts 3 days a week" with a 20 minute warmup (like me!), one day a week of cardio, and upper body push/pull on other days.

I never knew this sub reddit existed, but it is nice to read what other girls (my height/weight) have been doing and people are giving good advice in the comments. It is way better than the stupid bodybuilding forums and fitness subreddits, where everyone (read: men) just seem to be gloating about how much they can lift, and the overall vibe is just off. Everyone seems so friendly here! I wish the subreddit was more active tho...

Running

Now that i am going to the gym more and i realize that my stamina is getting better, i am very excited to start running again. I used to run every summer, and then when summer ended i stopped cause it got too cold outside. So every year i would run for maybe 4-5 months and then stop the rest of the year. One year i tore a certain muscle in my leg and it hurt from my butt all the way down to my calf. I walked with a limp for a month, and i kinda got scared of exercising after that and put down running for about 1-2 years.

But now that i am exercising and doing proper warm ups i am actually excited again to run, and i can even keep up running once it gets colder, cause i can just run in the gym (if i want). I prefer to run outside tho, so we will see how that goes. I also don't run a lot. Usually i would run for 20-30 minutes, and in the ending months i would sometimes go for 40 minutes. It also isn't just running. I do a run/walk cycle, that i slowly build up over time. Because i have breathing issues, i can't just run for 20 minutes in a row. It would kill me probably lol. In the beginning it is usually like 1 minute running, 3 minutes walking, and i slowly build it up. I got the idea from couch to 5K. Now that i am working out i wonder how much better my stamina is. 

I did always run when it became darker outside, cause i was a little bit embarrassed. I will probably still run around twilight cause it is my favorite. Too bad twilight doesn't last too long, even though i feel more confident now. I think running will also help with going to the gym.

I use the zombie app (i forgot the name) while i am running. It is nice cause there is a story that you follow and in between you can listen to your own music. Next to that, you can also set sprints, where you have to run away from zombies. This happens randomly throughout your run and you can set yourself how many times you want it to happen. This is actually really helpful and fun to do, because it makes you push harder. You also get an end result thing so you can see how much you ran, where you ran the fastest, where you ran the lowest. It is a very neat little app, too bad it costs money if you want to get the max out of it. I believe you only get one episode for free every 24 hours if you don't pay. I bought it at its inception years ago, so i don't have to pay for a monthly subscription. It sucks that new people who wanna use the app have to pay monthly to not fall into that 24 hour thing. I will give you the name once i start running again in case you wanna use it or check it out (there might be a free trial).

Gym was good!

As the title might give away, the gym was good today! I left a bit later than i wanted (10.20AM instead of 10AM). When i just got at the gym the security gates (where you scan your membership thing) was broken and i couldn't get through and i looked retarded lol. I had to wait a bit till it was fixed, so my warm up started a little bit after 10.30. There were more people than i had hoped, but the overall vibe was a bit better. There were two girls that i had seen before that always work-out together, and there were two other girls that came in later while i was warming up. There were a lot of friends there it seemed, and a lot of them were jacked gym bros, but most of them started leaving at around 10.45. There was also this scrawny kid that started accumulating some muscle mass in his arms and he was doing all his work-outs so sloppily. I wish one of the bros would've gone to him and told him how to do it properly :( No hate to him of course, but it hurts to see when someone does something wrong. But no one seemed to pay attention to him which kind of eased me into (wow, no one gives a shit about anyone in here) (nice). 

There were also a lot of old people, and later on they all congregated together at the seating area and started singing happy birthday and drinking coffee together. If i didn't have my music i would've probably left lol. They were very loud. Thank god my headphones are noise cancelling headphones.

Also, after i climbed up the stairs i got greeted by the cutest pomeranian dog. It happily hopped to me and it was wearing this tiny little coat. It was ADORABLE. Apparently, in one of the group class rooms, they were giving a presentation and some middle aged mom had brought her dog. I petted it and she was like "oh, it is being a bit naughty today". I couldn't have thought about a better way to start my day tbh lol.

I managed to do everything i wanted to do at the gym today:

• Warm-up (20 minutes)
• Hip adductors 3x15 (25kg)
• Leg press 4x15 (30>40>40>50)
• Romanian Dumbbell Deadlift 3x10 (8kg)
• Cable kick backs 3x12 (5kg)
• Leg extension 4x15 (2x10kg 2x12.5kg)
• Stretch

Warm-up was a bit daunting today. I think i did higher levels (i always forget to pay attention to it). There was a small (supposedly) gay man next to me who came in shortly after i went on the elliptical, and he went to the one next to me. At one point i wanted to do a level lower but i kept it on the same level that i had it at, so he was good motivation. He started out going pretty hard, but at one point we were in sync lol. I think he noticed it too. When i went on the stair stepper afterwards i started to feel this weird sensation in my stomach. I can't really describe it. I first thought i was going to pass out or something and i had to stop but i kept going (that might've been dumb). In the end i did it tho. At one point i kept changing the level between 5 and 6 because 5 was too easy but 6 became a bit too hard at the end. So i kept switching it up lol. But i did it in the end! Usually when i'm done with my warmups i sit against the wall and i drink water. I wait for my heartrate to go a bit down and i try to catch my breath. A lot of people say to not do hardcore cardio before your sets, but i like it because it gives me adrenaline, and it makes me push harder during work-outs. My legs also never feel tired after cardio, but i have ADHD so that might affect it too, so this might not be for everyone.

I had to do hip adductors today instead of abductors, since there was an old man on the abductor machine. Currently i am using 25kg but i think i might have to dial it down to 20. Usually my first set goes fine, but the sets after that i start to struggle. I did a warmup set with 20. So maybe i have to do 25 two times, and then after that do 20, so i can make sure to hit all my reps properly. I don't know why it is like that. I tried to do 30kg for shit and giggles and i barely could hit one rep. So getting strong enough to hit 30kg is a goal of mine right now.

After that i went to the leg press and i warmed up with 30kg. I then did two sets with 40kg. And i ended with doing 3 super sets of 6 reps with 50kg. Hopefully at the end of the month i can warm up with 40, do two sets with 50, and end with 60kg super sets!

After that i did the Romanian Dumbbell Deadlift and this was difficult for me. The loud group of old people were sitting right behind where the mirrors are, so it was a bit difficult to concentrate, but i tried to not look around and only pay attention to myself. There was a pretty big dude together with me in the weight area, but i tried to not pay attention to him. He made me a bit nervous cause he kept loading weights on his barbell and i was like "🥺i will never be that strong". The RDDLs didn't go as well as i had hoped. I did stand in front of the mirror for better posture, but i still sometimes felt it in my back. I only did the reps with 8kg. My first reps were 12 and my other two reps were 10. I couldn't do more, idk why. 

Then i finally got to do the cable kick backs. Apparently there are at least three machines there where you can do them so that is swheet. I did mine in the weight area, where there was more space. I had to wait a bit (like 10-15 minutes) for someone to help me, which was kind of annoying, but once it was explained it was easy. However, when i started doing them i didnt feel them in my glutes (like when i tried it at home at the doorpost). I hate how i practice stuff at home and it goes well, but then i go to the gym and i can't do it anymore. It is so, so frustrating. Also the cable kickbacks are a little bit harder than expected. I will practice it again at home tho and then hopefully i will be able to perform them in the gym properly on Friday.

I also realized there were two different leg extension machines, ones where you have to load the plates yourself and the ones where you stick the thingie in the weights. The guy who showed me how to do them put me on the loaded plates one, but it is at least good to know there are more, cause the one with the plates is usually taken by some gym bro. The guy who explained to me how to do it, didn't really explain much, so that was a bummer. He's an intern there and he was just like "you sit down, adjust the seat, load a plate, you are good to go" and i was like "uhhh that is it? i don't have to like brace any muscles?" and he looked at me like i was retarded. So i will have to look up the proper technique for that. I did google real quick if my feet had to point forward or up to the ceiling (the answer is up to the ceiling) cause he didn't explain that.

I also wanted to do my lat pulldowns today but i forgot about them tbh and i also didn't write them down, so i walked home and when i was home i got my two packages (a dress i ordered and hair dye cause im gonna bleach my hair), and i made my smoothie and it was perfect! I put just enough of every ingredient and it tasted soooo good. And then i started writing this while drinking my protein smoothie. Next up i will have to stretch and then i can finally start my work day.

So yeah, all in all, i would say that for Wednesday's leaving home around 10.30 would be good. I think the only problem is that both those friend groups seemed to want to go on the cardio machines that i was working out on, and the one friend group started working out at the exact same time as me, and the other one came in a little bit after that. So maybe 11 would be a better time? There was basically no one at the gym at around 11.29PM and around the time that i left some dumb fitness thot came in (which was around 12 i assume), so do want to be done at 12.