Dumb psychologist stuff

Since yesterday i am motivated to figure out how to deal with my ADHD and anxiety when it relates to getting things done like going to the gym and exercising in general and just having a proper daily schedule. This probably correlates back to me trying to get psychological help again through a psychologist. Today i had an appointment at the psychologist place and it didn't go that well. Maybe i am beyond help lol. At least i am motivated now to help myself. Still side eyeing all the "help" people though...

Midnight schizo post

So if you've read my entire previous post, i wrote about asking AI to help me out with my daily routine. And i know that i keep making planners for myself etc. but i feel like that whenever i go off course i can just ask AI to motivate me again. Right? I don't know if this will work. So i am just going to ramble a little bit to get this off my mind.

Physical therapy OVER!

I quit my physical therapy today. And i didn't go to the gym. I asked AI for help for creating more structure in my day.

Upper bodz!

Today was quite uneventful. I did an upper body day and that's about it. Oh yeah, my roommate and i got a new vegan protein powder and it's the grossest protein powder i've ever had, so i have to buy a new one. And i found a new personal trainer, and i am thinking about quitting physical therapy. More ranting after the "read more" as always.

Upper body day:

• short stretch/warm-up
• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 3x6
• bent over rows 3x10 (6kg)
• bar curls 3x12 (6kg)
• arnold press 3x8 (4kg)
• sitting twists 3x12
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)

Jim? Jim!

It is now MONDAY and yesterday it was Sunday and my roommate, dog, and i went for a long walk through a park/forest. Today i want to go to the gym, but i am struggling. I am also off the high dose of vitamin D for at least 5 days now and i feel much better. Continue "reading more" if you want to hear me vent/struggle with going to the gym.

I did ended up going to the gym though for like 15 minutes and i walked on the treadmill so that was pretty good. I did 3.5 incline and 4.5km speed. In the end i walked over 1km.

Vitamin d!!!!!

 Yep.. you guessed it. I didn't go to the gym today! 

A promise to myself

 I have decided to ban myself from video games and Youtube for next week!

Feeling sick

Yesterday i didn't work-out because it was super humid weather. It became so bad that i started to feel sick later in the day. And today i caught up on sleep and i also get caught up on some work which is why i didn't work-out. I was supposed to go to the gym today... but i guess i will just start on Monday.

Little steps

I'm gonna start putting my rant parts behind a read more tag, so that when you get on this blog you will see all the bodybuilding/fitness related stuff first and if you want to know more about me you can just press "read more".

TLDR; I was tired today, because i haven't been eating well, so i didn't do anything today. I had an appointment with my physical therapist which went horrible. We got into a back-and-forth and she overall just frustrated me and got me kind of angry cause she kept misunderstanding my points. We came to an agreement to do the thing i wrote about yesterday and on Friday i will go to to the gym for my first scope out. Tomorrow i want to do a leg day.

I remember

Ok so i finally remember why i stopped working out as much last year once i got a good start going in March/April when i first hit the gym: the heat. Last year was insane when it came to summer heat, so much so that we literally had a lot of creeks, lakes, and other natural waters drying up. It was a disaster. Luckily, so far, this summer hasn't been that bad, but the last two days have been pretty insane. I never ended up finishing my arm day, which is a pity. And today i couldn't get leg day going. Fortunately, it started storming earlier this evening, so now the temps have cooled down a lot and my apartment feels good again so i should be able to do it tomorrow.

I have my physical therapy appointment at 02.30 PM tomorrow so i hope to do my leg day before that, otherwise i wont be able to. I am still anxious about going to the gym. I will bring it up tomorrow during my therapy. I think i already know what she is going to say. That i have to build it up slowly. First by going to the gym and just walking on the treadmill. Not even doing anything extensive. And then she will ask me how long i want to be there. And then next time i can incorporate one other exercise machine etc. etc. In my head i know that it is that simple and that i should do it like that, but at the same time i just want to go and do my work-outs BUT at the same time i am also not doing anything right now so i might as well just go for a little while so the anxiety goes away again. Idk i think it will be easier once i just talk about it to her cause i feel that there is some force behind it.

I btw also got a new keyboard. It types so smoothly. I did a few type tests and i got 140 WPM almost every time. The keyboard was the most expensive one they had at the store lol, but it fits all my requirements so it was worth it i guess. The keys are very trigger happy, so sometimes if you even just slightly hover over a key with your finger it gets pressed, which i have to get used to.

I also finally picked up my vitamin D prescription at the pharmacy. I was "self-medicating" with only 400 IE chewing tablets. But i guess it worked since my bloated belly is gone. My prescription from the pharmacy is 25000IE though, which is pretty high. I have to take one tablet a week for six weeks, so i hope i feel more energized at the end of it.

We are also in August which means that at the end of this month school vacation should be over, so maybe then i will also feel more comfortable to go to the gym again. I would like to work towards a monday/wednesday/friday leg/glute day. Where on monday and friday i work-out at home, and wednesdays go to the gym; And then the next week i switch by going to the gym on monday and friday and work-out at home on wednesdays. I think that would be awesome. But how do i get there... i guess just by going to the gym again lol.

Splurge (upper body day)

Last Friday i felt horrible because i was gonna get my period. I ended up spotting throughout the day on Friday and then ultimately got my period on Saturday, which sucked. On Saturday i went to a concert with my friend. It was great! Got a cool tshirt. I took a bigger size so i can wear it to the gym too. 

My body looks like its old self again btw. My stomach isn't bloated anymore (except for period bloat) and i feel much better! My roommate and i bought a tub of pre-workout stuff last week and it is pretty good. I first mixed it with water which was nice, but now i mixed it with Sprite and it sooo much better. It tastes like an energy drink almost. I am drinking it right now while writing this post, cause i want to work-out soon. 

I remember telling myself that i wanted to go up in weight but i just checked my post and i didn't write about it. I think i want to do an extra set of shoulder shrugs. Do 10 reps of rows. Extra set of bar curls. Arnold press is still pretty difficult for me so i am gonna keep it how it is now. And sitting twists and side bends are fine like this too. I will report back once i am done so next time i can actually go up in weight maybe.

• short stretch/warm-up
• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 4x6
• bent over rows 3x10 (6kg)
• bar curls 2x12 (6kg)

Tbc:

• bar curls 2x12 (6kg)
• arnold press 3x8 (4kg)
• sitting twists 3x12
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)

I was on my 2nd bar curl break and my roommate came home... that stressed me out and when i wanted to start my 3rd set i pulled a muscle in my back. I couldn't breathe for a little while and had to lie on my bed. I hope i can stretch it out and finish my work-out later today.

In better news, last night i found out that my favorite fake eyelashes are still being sold! Last time i checked they didn't sell them anymore because the make-up brand went bankrupt (or something) and got taken over by another make-up brand. And last night i found out that they started selling the eyelashes again. They are so cheap and that other make-up brand also sells a lot of other cheap things like face cremes and stuff so i am gonna splurge a little and order some things that i need! I've never ordered from them before but they have a lot of vegan stuff so i am excited.

Need more rest

Aaaaa. Today i was supposed to go to the gym, but i woke up and i felt like i got hit by a bus. Maybe i am pushing myself too much cause i still have my vitamin deficiency going on, and i need more rest? Today is supposed to be leg day, but i might just make it an ab day and if i feel a bit better later on i might do some squats or something. I don't know how long it takes to get my vitamin levels ok again. I know vitamin D deficiency can make it so your muscle soreness lasts longer (which explains why i sometimes have DOMs for over a week). 

It kind of bothers me that my physical therapist told me that "i went too hard" when i told her last month i still had pretty bad DOMs a few days after my work-out, instead of suggesting for me to get a blood test since it could be vitamin D deficiency. I feel this way a lot with many professionals; they get clouded by their own judgements and because of that they tunnel vision. Instead of letting sink in what the other person said and filtering it through their knowledge. It is like everyone immediately wants to judge. This happens everywhere, with everyone nowadays. It just bothers me more when it comes from professionals in certain fields. They should know better, right? 

Rabble rabble (upper body)

I got up early this morning for an appointment and when i got there the lady i had an appointment with was like "aww i'm sorry but i am going home sick". Welp... so we rescheduled for next week. It cleaned up some time in my schedule and i ended up walking my dog for an hour. The weather was nice and she laid in the grass sometimes and i would sit next to her. Which was nice cause i have horrible DOMs (in my butt mainly) from my leg day.  While i was walking i was thinking about going to the gym maybe and walk on the threadmill some more to get my DOMs out, but i dyed my hair yesterday and i do not like what it turned out to become so i'd rather stay at home. Today is arm day tho. And currently it is 12:42 PM so that means i should work out soon to make sure i wont be bothered by the sun.

I also went to the store and i saw that they were selling some pre-workout powders. There were some nice flavors so i might buy one of them to try. They also sold really big shaker drink thingies for only 5 bucks? The smaller ones were only 4 bucks. So i might buy those as well. Speaking of buying, i bought a bunch of clothes last night. There's this (online) store that was carrying shoes that i liked, and i love that store, so i bought some things from their discount corner and then i also bought a few oversized shirts. I mainly bought those shirts in case my stomach ever gets bloated again, cause i realized how limited my wardrobe is for moments like that. Most of my oversized shirts are shirts i wear around the house and they are full with stains i can't get out. 

I also feel more motivated than ever to get in shape again. It is so horribly annoying not to be able to wear what you want to wear. Not only that, but if it is warm weather outside, and my stomach ever swells again, i'd rather have nice legs so i can wear a comfy baggy dress or a tshirt with shorts. I mean i can do that now too, but it would be nicer if my legs looked nice too. I think next year before summer i want to go on vacation, so i can get a tan before summer starts here. I constantly use this tanning oil that make my legs have a nice glow, but it is annoying, because when i shower or when i shave my legs the "fake tan" comes off too. I want to be able to have more freedom with that and i cannot tan in this sun that we have here. But it will probably be easier to maintain if i get a real tan in a warm country and then maintain it when i go back here.

I'm sorry i am rambling i do not know why i am doing this haha. It is nice to think out loud sometimes i guess but it has nothing to do with working out. Yesterday i btw did core exercises. I feel it a little bit today, but not as much as i would like to so i might have to push myself a bit harder next time. I tried to yesterday but i wasn't really feeling it. I wanted to incorporate hanging leg raises, but i just wanted it to end so i scrapped those. I think i definitely have to do 4 different exercises. I also need to do more reps next time. I can easily do that. This is what i ended up doing:

• reverse crunch 3x20
• plank 30 seconds
• lying floor leg raise 3x20
• plank 40 seconds
• bicycle crunch 3x15

And well, today is arm day. I don't remember if i said anything about upping reps or sets or weights, but i don't think so.

• short stretch/warm-up
• shoulder shrugs on pull up bar 3x6
• bent over rows 3x8 (6kg)
• bar curls 3x12 (6kg)
• arnold press 3x8 (4kg)
• sitting twists 3x12
• side bends 3x12 (7.5kg)

The only thing i need to work on is my flabby core, but that is just pure fat burning. If i get to go to the gym at least 3 times a week to do 20-30 minutes of cardio, i think i will be set!

Getting better! (leg day)

Soooo, i got my blood test results back last week and turns out i have a vitamin D deficiency, like... really badly. Leave it up to me to have a vitamin D deficiency in the height of summer! Either way, i started to take vitamin D last week and my stomach is almost back to normal now. My hourglass figure is back, what seemed like excess fat before is all gone. I am so happy omg. Last week i wanted to wear a really cute pair of pants i had and i literally looked pregnant and i couldnt close the buckle. Now my pants are all loose fitting again. I was literally convinced for a while that i just gained weight and that was the issue, so i am glad that i am getting back to normal again. And also that it was only something as benign as a vitamin deficiency and not something worse! Also, my B12 was insanely high lol. So i think i will start taking my B12 gummies every other day, instead of every day.

My roommate started his new job yesterday. It was kind of chaos cause of course on his first working day his car breaks down. He ended up having to rent a car, but he made it, so that was all good. He called a repair guy who kickstarted his battery (since that was the problem) and it works fine now. Because my roommate has his job now i made a schedule for myself for the entire week since i want to go back to the gym again. I actually had planned to go to the gym today, but i had an appointment at 11.30AM and i thought it was at 12.30PM. So my entire schedule is effed up now and my anxiety is kicking in so i will just work-out at home instead. I am planning to go to the gym on Friday tho, and maybe if i feel like it any other day i will just go there and do some cardio or something. 

But today is leg day and i don't have to worry about my roommate coming home early. It is warm weather today, but my apartment is situated in such a way that the sun hits my place around 4-5PM. Which means that i can keep it relatively cool in my house before that time. So as long as i do my work-outs in the beginning of the day i should be fine. I think i will continue with 6kg, except for hip thrusts (i will try a higher weight). I will also incorporate bulgarian split squats again (my least favorite) so i will keep my sets to 3, i think 4 will be overkill. And i might just start with the split squat so i can get it over with lol.

Today i did:

• 3x10 bulgarian split squats 7.5kg
• 3x8 hip thrusts 20kg
• 3x10 romanian deadlifts 6kg
• 3x10 squats 6kg

I really had to push myself to get through the bulgarian split squats but after that it went alright. I think next time i want to put my hip thrusts at 10kg, and make my squats and romanians 8kg.

Tomorrow i have my "rest day" where i will do some stretches and core exercises.