Back in the gym bby!

Yay! Weekend over so today was gym day. In my previous post i mentioned that i cut myself and that the doctor said that i should let it rest for a bit. I think i also mentioned it has basically been a month now that i didn't do any arm day or whatever. I can tell, cause my body looks more deflated. My cut is healing nice though, and i'm pretty sure i can do upper body again, but i want to wait, just in case.

So now i do Monday/Friday at the gym, and Wednesday at home workout. It's gonna be tough cause it is really warm weather. I think i want to split up the gym machines on Monday/Friday and then maybe do 3 exercises on Friday, because of the heat. It is literally so effin' warm and not only that, it is literally... i can't breathe basically. It's humid and gross. Even though my gym has air-conditioning, it feels horrible. Like i am constantly out of breath and i can't breathe properly, so i don't want to push myself too hard, cause then i feel like i wont go anymore, since i don't have my gym buddy to fall back on anymore (which is a good thing tbh) (i need to learn to do it alone).

Did i btw mention i got a Garmin watch? Yeah so, for my birthday i decided to get myself a Garmin watch. I usually enjoy getting myself birthday presents. Last year i got myself a bunch of small gifts, which was nice, but my eye fell on the light purple/lilac Garmin vivoactive 5 watch. Cause i fell into this rabbit hole of smartwatches, but i didn't want one that could "sell my data". So i looked for one that i didn't have to connect to the internet and i wanted a cute one, so i found out about the Garmin watches! I still need to get a new band for it, because it comes with a rubber one which is horrible for when it is warm weather. I already found a few cute ones on Aliexpress so i will have to figure out which ones i really want. But yeah, it is easier now to get myself to focus on things cause of the watch, cause when i go out to walk, i set it on the activity "walk" and i can see my heart rate and a timer etc. and then after i'm done walking i get an overview and it just tickles my ADHD brain. It's nice! I might end up pairing it up with an old phone i have laying around so i can add more stuff to it, like tracking my water and stuff. I don't know if i will have to connect to the internet to sync up my phone and watch, but i believe i can also do it with the cable. But that is something i have to figure out. The reason i mention it is because i use it at the gym as well. I use it first for cardio and then after i use it for weightlifting so i can track my rest etc. And at the end i get an overview and i thought it would be cool to keep track of it here, so that i can maybe compare things, cause it shows how much weight in total you've been lifting so it would be cool to see how much i do now, and how much i will grow in like 1 month, 3 months, 6 months etc.

But yeah the gym today. I first didn't feel like going. I got dressed but i checked the Google thing to see if it was crowded and it said it was crowded so i didn't wanna go, but i made a list of things i had to do today, so i picked something else on my list. I then got distracted with other stuff and then i checked again and it said there weren't many people. This was around 2-2.30. I think i ended up going at 3 and i got home around 4. 

• 5 min treadmill
• Adductor 1x12 45kg, 2x12 47.5kg, 1x10 50kg
• Sitting leg press 1x15 40kg, 1x12 60kg, 1x12 70kg 1x12 80kg
• Leg curl 1x12 27.5kg, 1x12 30kg, 1x12 32.5kg, 1x10 35kg
• Sitting leg press legs high 3x12 80kg

The abductor machine is broken (it was also broken last week ffs) so i use the leg press as a substitute, although i know it is better to do cable side stretches or whatever it is called. However, i hate doing those in the gym so i'd rather not. It wasn't that crowded in the gym, and most people were doing upper body today so that was nice cause i didn't have to wait for any machines. I then went home, walked my dog, tried to save a bee, and then went home and drank my protein. I'm sweating so hard, so i will take a shower after i am done with my protein zzzzzzzzzz.

3 weeks out!!!

Okay so, i haven't written in a while. I don't really have a good excuse as to why. And i don't think it matters. I had a 3 week hiatus from working out; the longest yet. The first week was for my birthday. My best friend took off from work so i told my gym buddy ahead of time that i wasn't going to the gym "in the first week of june". Then on Monday i suddenly get a text from my gym buddy saying "hey i'm already at the gym", which was the weirdest thing ever cause like... he had never done that before? Cause usually the day before we go to the gym we text each other about the time if we didn't make any plans. So i texted him "uhh what". I basically told him "it's great you are there, but it's my free week!". I told him he should try and go alone this week. He seemed annoyed(?) at me, even though i literally told him ahead of time when i was going to take my week off. I think he just used it as an excuse to get annoyed at me; that's how it felt anyways.

I still had contact with him once more during my free week, since he send me a birthday message. I reacted the day after cause i cut myself the day after my birthday on my arm by accident and needed stitches (my first ever!!!). So i thanked him for the birthday wishes and told him that i cut myself lol. He didn't really respond or asked any questions so we kind of left it at that. Later in the week i invited him to a concert i thought he would like and asked if he wanted to go with. It's in like 1 or 2 months, but i thought i would give him a heads up. I never got a response...

Then the second week.. on Monday it was some religious holiday i believe idk, so everything was closed, so we decided to go again on Tuesday. I had 2 appointments that day, and we decided to go at 12, but i wasn't going to make 12 anymore so i texted him. I wanted to ask if we could go at 4 since i had another appointment, but i didn't hear anything from him until 3(!!!) in the afternoon. He said he "overslept" cause "he didn't feel good at night" "so he couldn't fall asleep". I just left him on read. (he btw doesn't have the read ticks turned on, but i guess he figured that i left him on read lol). I didn't go to the gym myself that week or workout at home since working out at home was gonna be difficult, cause i couldn't lift anything. And i also bruised my foot (don't ask) (and yes i actually had a bruise on the bottom of my foot) during my birthday week so putting any pressure on it hurt; so cardio was out of the question + most exercise machines. I was fully handicapped!! Lol. So i decided to just take another rest week. Also, my computer broke just before my birthday week and i only ended up getting it fixed... recently actually. So i caught up on sleep and rest (even though i still gamed on my steam deck hehe).

Then last week, he messaged me on Monday "Soo, are we going to pick up lifting again?". And i was like "i still lift though! but yeah we can go together again if you want". I obviously lied, but he doesn't have to know that. I told him that i could go tomorrow (which was tuesday) but i first had to go to the doctor to get my stitches removed, and that i can't do arm day. So then he finally asked what happened and i told him about cutting myself by accident. He said that he thought i had "cut my finger or something". Three stitches in your finger? Sure buddy. So i said "i will just do leg days when we go to the gym from now on". And he was like "okay, let me know when you are done then tomorrow at the doctor". I thought i could nudge him towards driving me, but i didn't really expect much since he had such a bitchy attitude towards me + the ignoring of my messages when i was inviting him to come to a show.. oh well. No biggie. It was super hot though on Tuesday and i had to bike for like 20 minutes in the hot sun cause of course the only road to my doctor had no trees UGH. Luckily my doctor is like 1 minute away from my grandparents so i decided to go to their place after i was done at the doctor, and just tell my gym buddy that we will go later in the day. I got my stitches removed by a cute happy gay nurse in training. I made him laugh twice and getting the stitches removed was rather uncomfortable, but nothing too bad. He did a pretty good job and was gentle. But then when i was done and i checked my phone guess what... yup. Gym buddy bro cancelled again. I had my appointment at the doctor at 01.40PM and he messaged me at 01.30PM saying "Well, i think we need to go to the gym some other time... maybe tomorrow or Thursday. cause i drank spoiled milk and now i am living on the toilet...." followed by "for the record, i checked the date and the carton said it would be good for another 3 days, so the milk should've still been good". Uhh okay???

I obviously didn't buy his story. Even if he was truthful... bro cancelled our gym plans SO. FUCKING. OFTEN. that i do not believe him anymore. And not only that, he literally told me to my face "it is 50/50 whether i get sick when i eat certain food, so sometimes i eat food and then just hope i dont get sick, so when i cancel, i just got sick". I also often think he doesn't get sick, and he just games all night with his friends and then is too tired to go to the gym. My friend said that my gym buddy seemed "gleeful" about not wanting to go to the gym after he cancels, especially seeing how he never reschedules for later in the day, but always prompts for other days.

I then talked about it with my roommate and my therapist, and especially my therapist urged me to choose more for myself. I am sick and tired of planning my days around him, cause he is always the one who wants to go at a specific time in the day. I told him multiple times i would like to go earlier, but he never really complied, except for sometimes. And i know if i were to call him out (which i have already done before and i told him to get therapy for his food addiction) he would just tell me "oh but you're always late", as if that is in any way comparable to him CANCELLING. I decided to just match his energy, so disrespecting and lack of effort. I am not stressing over him anymore. I am just going to the gym on my own.

So that's what i did yesterday. I went a bit later. I went to bed really late on Sunday night, and i wanted to go at 4 but of course i couldn't find the things i needed (earphones, water bottle etc.) so i ended up going at around 4.30PM. The gym wasn't that crowded, but there were a lot of duos, and one of the machines was broken, and i brought the wrong earphones so i could hear a lot of noise coming through which was really annoying, but hey i did it! There was also a guy working there who i had maybe seen 2 or 3 times before. He smiled at me a few times and at one point, when he walked through the gym, he gave me a thumbs up. So that was nice! 

Today my legs ache. I tried to not go too hard with my workouts. I tried about 10-20kg lower than the last time i went to the gym and i tried to go higher in weight with each set to see where my threshold was. Almost with every exercise i could almost do the weight i did last time, so i am sure i am back where i was before in like 1-2 weeks. I kinda wanted to do stuff at home tomorrow cause i got a landmine attachment now (yay!). But my legs are really sore, and i just got back into it so i think i will sit tomorrow out for now and just go back again on either Thursday or Friday!