Food

I have been sleeping horribly the last few days and i also didn't have access to my ADHD medication which made my days very chaotic. On Tuesday i managed to do my upper-body day and yesterday i didn't do my core day. Today i was supposed to go to the gym and do leg day but since i woke up pretty late so i don't think that's gonna happen anymore. I am now thinking about doing leg day at home. The weather is pretty warm so i have to wait till later tonight to do it. Tomorrow i might go to the gym to do cardio and core. I feel like my body looks pretty good right now except for my stomach. I have the "stomach lines" but for some reason there is a giant blob of fat on the middle of my stomach. I think this might be because i have been eating a lot of bread the last few days lol. Next week i'll go on a stricter diet where i'll plan out all my meals so i won't be seduced by the thought of bread. I might do that today so i can go to the store tomorrow and get most of the foods that i need to start my "cleanse" next week. My biggest problem is usually eating enough in terms of calories, cause either i eat too much or too little. But maybe it is good that i will plan out my meals since i haven't really been hungry the last few weeks. So even eating foods that taste good don't make me feel good anymore. Planning out my meals will help i guess. If i will eat one protein bar and drink one protein smoothie i'm already half way to my daily protein intake. So if i just get that in my daily routine i think i will be fine.

It has been a long, long time

Gosh, it feels like i haven't written in ages. Which is kind of true tbh. A lot has happened in my personal life and this summer was just one big pile of chaos. Besides that, there was a lot of rain. So not a lot of summer to be had. Gym has been going on and off. Last week i felt very motivated and i even went to the gym to finally do my cardio day (walking up hill). It went really well but i was really sweaty lol. This week i feel demotivated again which made me want to write here. I looked through some pictures of my body on my phone and my body looked at its best in May. I was very lean, but my butt looked nice and firm and my legs looked nice too. I don't know where my body is at right now. It feels flabby. I think that is because i haven't been doing any core days.

I also had my period last week, and i believe that the week after your period you are at your weakest. So maybe that also has to do with me not feeling motivated. I've been reading through some of my posts here to see what i exactly was doing and it seems that working out at home with a mix of working out at the gym is very important. Right now i have mainly been doing either/or. I have been working out at home a lot since i've been slacking at the gym tho and i can almost squat 20kg now. My romanian deadlift is 20kg and i could probably do more but i need to buy wrist straps.

My upper body has also become stronger. I can easily hang on my pull-up bar now and lift my knees without losing my breath. I can tell my body is stronger and healthier, but it doesn't really look that way.

I also have been losing my appetite these last few weeks so keeping up with my protein is a pain in the ass as well.

Today (monday) i was supposed to go to the gym for leg day but i didn't go. I have just been feeling out of it. Tomorrow is upper body day. I'm thinking to go to the gym to do a quick cardio routine and then maybe do LAT pulldowns. For some reason i don't want to do LAT pulldowns anymore. I feel like i am doing it wrong and i look like an idiot at the gym, even though that is probably not true and nobody is looking at me. But since i have been feeling out of it i will just stay at home. I have leg days now reserved for Monday and Thursday because i usually have DOMs that last for days. Although i feel like i had DOMs as well back when i worked out more and i worked out 3 days a week. I still think i should do 3 leg days but i don't know how to schedule them. 

Monday>Leg day at gym
Tuesday>Upper body at home
Wednesday>Cardio + core
Thursday>Leg day at gym
Friday>Cardio + core
Saturday>Leg day at home

My only problem is that usually with leg day at home my legs hurt for at least 3 days. So idk if i should do leg day at the gym on Monday/Wednesday and then Leg day at home on Friday. Uggghhghghghg. Idk but i need to figure it out. I could say that i just do monday leg day at the gym and then the week after that on tuesday and i keep scooting everything but the problem is that i have so much anxiety about going to the gym and i don't know when it will be crowded and stuff.

After having had to deal with the youngsters at my gym for some time i started going at around 4PM and there were way better gym people. But the other day when i went to do cardio, at around 5PM it started to become really crowded. Idk i feel like no one at the gym even has a proper schedule except for a few people and people just come and go lol. I wish i could stop caring but i cant because the gym is so small and people hogging certain machines is really annoying.

Anyways, for this week i will keep the schedule i just made. Which means upper body at home tomorrow and gym on Wednesday! I might do some squats before bed tonight tho.